boxer_dog_luv

I want the old me back. Car wreck in August where driver w/o license driving a borrowed vehicle deliberately took action to pull unto the wrong side of a two lane country road to speed around 3 cars that were stopped for a car to make a legal left turn (me). This young woman made decisions to travel 1000 ft. down a marked no-passing zone having to see us all the while on a straight road before the side road turn off at a speed of 55 mph and struck me in a near T-bone. She never braked. It could easily have been a fatal accident by all accounts. My car was knocked 154 ft. down the highway and again another near miss that oncoming traffic was not there. I keep telling my husband that I could understand an accident or a driving misdeed--I keep wanting to ask her "why she hit me at a speed and manner that the probability of killing me was most likely." If I saw that I had made a mistake and was going to hit someone, I would have slammed on the brakes and possibly steered to avoid the collision taking the ditch. I was injured and have been in back pain every day since, struggling to work. The other driver was not injured, fell on the ground and had a temper tantrum when the cop gave her the ticket & hopped an ambulance on purpose to avoid being taken into custody. Did not show up for court - although I lost work to be there as a witness. Our state does not go after traffic offenses so this girl walked away scot-free with no consequence for wrecking her boyfriend's vehicle and injuring me.

The ER doc was glib and after palpation said I would feel worse before I felt better. F/U with family doc in 3 days. Have been seeing family MD x 10 years but am never sick so it had been 2 yrs since last visit. When he heard that it was an auto wreck, he asked about an attorney and kept saying, you'll be fine. No tests. Rx'd Vicodin & ibuprofen to take without fail x 2 wks & return if no better. To this day, I have not been able to sleep but a few hours. I feel like an idiot - did what he said--had never had a car wreck. Returned and the family MD was beside himself, very agitated, that he didn't play insurance games, and rx'd more Vicodin and started PT. The PTs were a real rip-off, saw a diff. "person" every time--only saw a real PT the first visit--and the staff watched and counted me through exercises with extreme range of motion which aggravated my previous neck surgery from two years ago and it really scared me that I started waking up with numb arms and symptoms that I had not had. Third visit, family doc. said it's all in your head and rx'd Xanax and Prozac - diagnosis PSTD.

I was alarmed at all the narcotics and no testing to explain why I had low back pain given my previous neck disc problems/surgery. I switched to a new family M.D. who on visual said soft tissue injury, disagreed with the orig. doc on PT/narcotics & said to take 4-Advils and give it two years (soft tissue) to heal.

I have suffered so many losses- 1)my orig. family MD - I misplaced my trust in him all along. He was negligent or burned out. Dr. Drugs is what I call him. He refused to do PSA testing or colon cancer screening after my husband was recommended to have them by a relative having colon cancer about a year ago & this didn't send off warning bells that it should have then. Doc said "he doesn't believe in tests." Now I feel lucky in one sense to get away from his care as maybe he is making a value judgment about who is worth living. I like my new family doc. but he has only seen me once.

2)my ins. agent- the card said call the agent after an accident, we did several times, and the agent said to call the other ins. company as the accident wasn't our fault. This meant the other ins. company started asking lots of questions and I got scared and said I don't know a lot. They were nasty and said we didn't have a claim. My car was totaled and in a tow yard so after two weeks & a car payment, I had no choice but to get an attorney. It did make me feel better to switch to another agent/branch of the same ins. co....slightly.

3)I chose a very reputable attorney by all accounts as I have lived in this area lifelong. He must be very good but comes across arrogant and a real a-hole--talks down to me, tells me I come across like a "b" (yes-I am angry about the circumstances of the wreck), will only talk to me under the cloak of secrecy alone and he is like dealing with the devil. Well, the good thing, this persuaded my own ins. co to pay off the car. Now this pit bull attorney has me by the throat and is billing for copies, records review, contingency basis, and I had a message that he wants to settle now (....that he has prob. run up a tab to the limits of our policy). So I am beg. to feel the atty. has used this as a little charade to make lots of money while I will get no money for my medical bills. I had no choice, my own ins. co. would not even consider a claim until I got an atty. to contact them. Meanwhile, I feel like crap every day, am angry under the surface, and so frustrated. One terrible accident that has happened to me has now spawned a cottage industry of profit where everyone else benefits.

Since Thanksgiving, my leg has started going more numb and I will see my new doc. again next week. I am applying for other jobs discreetly because I don't feel like I can continue in my present profession for 15 more years until retirement. I just can't seem to pull out of this funk. I am trying to find happiness and move on, be grateful that I am alive. It could have been a lot worse. I do not believe that I ever was a negative person. Acc. to my pit bull atty., I can't talk about this to anyone or mention pit bull's name. I feel like life is spiraling beyond my control. But to be crazy or depressed or PTSD would probably mean my ins. company will not pay my medical bills. From what I gather, my own ins. co. will try to dig any dirt on me to avoid paying my medical bills. My husband is not happy b/c I am not supp. to require this much attention and he does not want under any circumstances for this ins. issue to end up in court--even if it means I shut up and go away. I am 100% the victim here. Any words of advice of how to cope when everything seems to be the toilet. Astrid