Phoenix

Dear restless_heart,

First of all, don't be too hard on yourself.

It annoys me when I hear that others go to such lengths to invade another's "privacy."

I hope that she was supportive pertaining to this sensitive situation.

I've heard of this happening amongst sisters and their boyfriends, only to end in an argument between the two family members with one in tears and the other angry at her sibling; shouting words such as "jealous liar."

If this was not the case, forgive me for saying so.

It is perfectly normal for you to be both apprehensive and uncomfortable when intimacy issues arise.

There is no specific time associated with the recovery process, as no two individuals are the same.

Please listen to what you said:

"I didnt turn the man in for the shame of a trail and everyone knowing what happend...I didnt want to relive the event."

Do you feel that the community would have looked down on you? If so, why?

Was this person well respected, held in high regard?

Is your husband aware of what happened?

The more you keep things "bottled up" inside, the more uncomfortable this situation(putting it mildly) will be to deal with; thus affecting your relationship with your husband.

There are therapists out there who can help you with this; some even suggest that both you and your husband attend.

My dear, you have come to the right place, for we will attempt to provide you with all the support you need.............and then some.

Please keep posting; we are not judgemental here.

Take care
God Bless
FTM