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DelaneyBlue · 04-04-2007, 04:57 PM

Hello,
After I read the responses to my last post, I realized that you guys are all right and I need a therapist. So... I found one that works on a sliding scale and is local (fear of driving) and I called. I have an appointment for Tuesday.
However, I'm terrified. I don't understand why. I'm literally nauseas and shakey. Maybe its that, I'm afraid that things will get worse before they get better? Maybe I'm afraid of really talking about things?
So... how did you guys deal with that initial therapy session? Does it get worse before it gets better?

thanks

galinaqt · 04-04-2007, 07:55 PM

My suggestion is to find on the internet "How to find good therapist" tips. You can see what to expect and red flags. I can understand you found him randomly based on money. Did you call board and check his credentials and if there are complains against him/her? Best if person same culture and close in age, same gender (it's not must). He/she may not want you to bring your topics than you better change a therapist. If you don't feel comfortable 2 sessions in a row better change him/her. If it work out and doctor will help you, good for you.

ICC · 04-05-2007, 03:38 AM

Hi Blue........I was always very anxious when I first started counseling. Have had maybe 3 good ones in the past 30 years. Yes at times I have gotten worse before better but it's because of bringing it all out and dealing with it. It is well worth your time and money. I understand that fear of driving. Never had it until last August but I dissociated behind the wheel and forgot how to drive and where I was going.

After being back with my counselor and being here I'm still not crazy about it but am not longer afraid. Be selective and protective of yourself. I had one therapist that I only saw twice as I could have counseled her. LOL Just take your time, tell her/him what you can and let them help you get it out. I'll say a prayer that you and the therapist click immediately. That's what happened to me with the one I see now and it has made it so much easier for me and her.

ICC

stick2013 · 04-05-2007, 04:46 AM

HI Blue,

I am so glad that you took the first step. Actuallt the second. The first was posting on the board. GREAT JOB!!!!

First of all see if you click with your therapist. THAT'S important. Give it time, don't jump to quick on a yes or no. You don't have to unload everything on the first visit. Just general stuff, sex abuse in the past, having hard time dealing, meds are screwing you up, not sleeping, ect. No details needed, just general.....

It's ok to be nervous.....that's expected.......Hang in there, you won't die. I promise...

Hugs,

Sid

Sannah · 04-05-2007, 08:25 AM

Hi Delaney, I am so glad that you are getting into therapy! Remember, you can post any confusion that you have about anything here and we can help you work through it. I usually spent my first few sessions crying out my pain whenever I started to see a therapist again.

orchardlady · 04-05-2007, 04:25 PM

Blue, you have done a great thing. Courage! You found the courage to pick up the phone. Now the next step is the courage to follow through with the decision.

If you need to told it over...brainstorm...yell and scream...cry like a baby...you have found the perfect place to do that. Whether it is multiple time a day, or less.

Most of us in here have been in and out of therapy for most of our lives. For various reasons I have been in and out since I was 15, I am now 58. My therapist before this one...1979 to 2002...when I move to another state.

It may take you a couple of months to get to your problem, it may come to the surface on the first visit. Whatever time it takes, just remember that you are in charge of each and every session. Any good therapist knows this by way of their education.

If the therapist appears to be pressing you to open up and you are not ready, you need to speak up. Therapy should not be about pressure.

If you are not comfortable with the therapist, again any good therapist, knows that your comfort level is more important than his/her being "rejected" by you. If you see a guy and you are a gal, and a guy makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to make a change to a female. And, vise versa.

The one part of therapy I don't like is the quiet spaces. When I don't talk, Dr.Jim is silent too. A sign that he knows to allow me to control the session. Like today...we had a quiet space a couple of times...I would chuckle, since they make me anxious, and tell him of my dislike for the silence, which would then lead me to say something else, and hence, another conversation begins.

There are a lot of

in here...So, let's talk about your anxiety between now and your first appointment...OKAY!

We can all identify with these words:

"Fear does not have any special power unless you empower it by submitting to it." --Les Brown

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar." --Thich Nhat Hanh

beka6 · 04-05-2007, 10:26 PM

Hi Blue,

Well done on finding a therapist! Yes, it's totally okay to be scared - you've spent a lot of years with a lot of trauma bottled up inside of you. Take the therapy at your own pace - whatever is comfortable for you. I really like my current therapist, but it took me about 5 or 6 visits before I felt like I could trust her enough to tell her what happened to me. It's just never easy to talk about events that evoke so much anger, fear, frustration, helplessness, sorrow, etc.... Just remember that you are not alone through all of this!

Beka

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