ICC

FTM..........I will also add my feelings to this.

Having been one of the first here I have read, seen, learned so much. One being that we are all different. Different in our way of communicating, different in our needs, different in our traumas. BUT we are all the same in that we have PTSD. Some come here frequently, some don't. If I feel I am off, have nothing to offer, or might be too harsh I have opted to not answer some posts. That is my perogative. Yes? Maybe at times I want to yell at someone, tell them to ^%&* or get off the pot. Knowing the nature of the disorder and not being cruel stops me, hence no answer to a post. I understand the point needs to be "driven home" BUT if i'm uncomfortable with it I won't.Part of my boundaries are not allowing ANYONE to make me feel guilty, not changing who I am, because I am not up to snuff. Sid and Sannah for the longest time wanted to shake me. They did. It helped. I leave that form of communicating up to them. When I get up in the morning and come here I read everything. If I feel all has been dealt with and a couple of people are on a roll I don't feel the need to step in. I find it confusing at times and don't want to add confusion to the mix. I know these are open boards but it's still not my way. Sometimes the posters who post the most have other stuff in their heads and are just notable to deal with it for awhile. I don't think it's fair for anyone to point the finger. Sid has apologized numerous times for desserting people in her own time of need. She shouldn't be made to feel like that because in her absence we have all stepped up to the plate and left no one for want BUT it has been written that basically the other's help wasn't good enough. Would you feel like answering after awhile, knowing your answers aren't good enough?I have always, when in need started my own thread of desperation. Not once has no one answered me, it didn't matter to me who it was, the help was appreciated. We all step aside for a time when one of us is really in a bad place. As far as bonding goes you know as well as I do that you and I bonded immediately. Sid and I have become sisters. Sannah and I knew each other from different forums.Because we don't care about the group???? NO! It's just different people, with similar personalities bonding. I have read posts, added to it, basically never to have it acknowledged and to have the other say straight up that they really only appreciate and gain from another's posts. That never stopped me from coming here, but has made me repect the posters wishes and not burden them with more that has already been said. I find those who have suffered the same traumas to have much more insight than I would in certain issues so why would I claim to be able to help if I know in my heart I can't. I understood Carolyn's post yesterday. She felt ignored, needed help and felt that Lost, Sid and myself were coming first. This is a free forum and all have the right to talk to who they choose and check on others when they are worried. I will not let that opinion stop me from caring about all of you. I have looked for you , how many times. No one resented that. OK, that's it for me. I will still visit but will only answer if it pertains to me or I have something to offer. I am really sorry that there is so much tension here right now. I have no idea when all the competition started but I will not play a apart in it.

Be well my friend,
Grasshopper