Emotion Is OK - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

hergy · 06-13-2007, 08:56 PM

The nature of a traumatized individual is to push away emotion to avoid as much pain as possible. Doesn't work, but we do it anyway. Emotion isn't bad. In my head, it still is, but at least I've come far enough to know emotion is normal. I just can't seem to merge it with my intellect yet without becoming a blubbering moron.

Emotion feels wierd for most of us. It does to me. So I try not to feel. All that does is cause a jack-in-the-box effect. It just pops out and scares the crap out of me.

We can work through those emotions, guys. Don't run. I'm the queen of running. But I know it doesn't work. Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself when I feel because it seems that I can't tell what the heck I'm feeling. It's like every emotion possible attacks me at once. Verbalizing what I'm feeling? No way.

We can all work this stuff out together. I'm kind of out of sorts right now because I'm trying to function with emotions pushing my head out of shape. It's got to happen, though. Better now than later, I guess.

I have OCD. So my new emotions are spinning like a tire on a race car. But I'm working on my OCD stuff in therapy - no more renting videos in three's, no more showering in the same order, etc. Small stuff first, then the big stuff.

Maybe this post doesn't not make much sense. I don't concentrate too well. But I hope you guys understand what I'm getting at.

Love,

Nikki

isitme · 06-14-2007, 02:27 AM

Emotion is fine - certainly. Blubbering moron you call yourself, well I'm number 2 blubbering moron! To NOT be that, I have to avoid whoever/ whatever. I know that is NOT the answer either. The correct answer is facing up to the trigger - WITHOUT an inappropriate response. Slowly but surely working towards the end goal. I'm much nearer to the goal than I was................yet still a long way away. (I do hope I haven't confused you further).

stick2013 · 06-14-2007, 03:21 AM

Nikki,

When you have learned to block emotion for an extended period of time.....It becomes NORMAL, even though it is abnormal to block them. When you START to feel things, and let your emotions out....THIS is where you get the weird feelings. It frightens you to actually feel emotions. Emotion are there for a reason.

The trauma that you have been through has forced you to pack away your feelings in a tight little package somewhere in your mind and soul. They are coming out now, little by little. Try and let them. Feel them, play safely with them, and nurture them. It's ok....

Hugs sweetie,

Sid

hergy · 06-14-2007, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stick2013

When you have learned to block emotion for an extended period of time.....It becomes NORMAL, even though it is abnormal to block them. When you START to feel things, and let your emotions out....THIS is where you get the weird feelings. It frightens you to actually feel emotions.

Sid,

You're definitely right. But like every other step I take, the confused, wierd feelings seem like they'll never go away.

It does scare the crap out of me to feel - to allow myself into emotional places I never dared before. It seems that the temperature gauge on my emotions is broken - just hot or cold.

I'm moving slowly, not by choice, but when I hit new ground and feel, the unfamiliar wave of emotion is consuming.

Thanks for your grounding words.

I love you!

Nikki

About my emotions, what do you mean "play safely with them?"

hergy · 06-14-2007, 08:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isitme

Emotion is fine - certainly. Blubbering moron you call yourself, well I'm number 2 blubbering moron! To NOT be that, I have to avoid whoever/ whatever. I know that is NOT the answer either. The correct answer is facing up to the trigger - WITHOUT an inappropriate response. Slowly but surely working towards the end goal. I'm much nearer to the goal than I was................yet still a long way away. (I do hope I haven't confused you further).

Isitme,

Without an inappropriate response? You can do it. I'm totally not there. That's why it scares me to let my soft side show. I don't really have anything but a soft side, but I pretend in order to protect myself. If I can't pretend, I run.

I'm glad you understand. I'm not glad you're in the same boat, but I think we're both paddling in the right direction.

Love,

Nikki