Making Lemonade - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

orchardlady · 06-14-2007, 11:46 AM

How does it go...If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
I suppose it means that if difficulties come into your life try to turn them into something positive.

What if all one ever has is lemons?
What if 99% of what you receive comes with conditions?
What if each time something potentially good comes along it has a price that must be paid with heartache, tears, stress and anguish?
What if each and every time you truly need emotional support from a family member it isn't forthcoming? What if you are met with only apathy?

I am so down today I could barely keep myself awake on the 2-1/2 hour drive home from Philly. I sit here wanting to do nothing but sleep, which for me is a very bad sign of a depressive collapse. I have to dig myself out or I will end up in the dark under the covers and I don't have time for that.

I sit here at a time that I should be both apprehensive and excited. But I am neither. I am numb. I can't feel anything. I'm just blank.

I question whether I should just drop out of the trial today...now...this hour!
No. That is not fair to me. I deserve to have something I have chosen to do for myself. Something that can potentially make just this one part of my life better for many years to come. Why do I have to wade through "terms and conditions" to reach for this carrot? Why can't just this once I be greeted with a rally round mom/sister and let's help her obtain this prize?

What does everything have to be so hard?

Carolyn

rosequartz · 06-14-2007, 11:48 AM

sorry to hear you're so down.....I'm having a hard time really understanding what you're saying because you're speaking metaphorically....
what specifically is bothering you?

Phoenix · 06-14-2007, 12:24 PM

Dear Carolyn:

You wrote:

I question whether I should just drop out of the trial today...now...this hour!
No. That is not fair to me. I deserve to have something I have chosen to do for myself. Something that can potentially make just this one part of my life better for many years to come. Why do I have to wade through "terms and conditions" to reach for this carrot? Why can't just this once I be greeted with a rally round mom/sister and let's help her obtain this prize?

What does everything have to be so hard?

Carolyn

You answered your own question, my dear.

Anything in life that you will truly cherish is going to take effort in order for success to be obtained.

Terms and Conditions are generally put into place to protect others, not so much you.

You know the saying "without rules there would be anarchy."

Life comes with it, many pitfalls and adventures.

Just keep your eyes on the prize; you owe it to yourself.

Take care
God Bless
FTM

Ps- Remember that when life gives you lemons, you can make lemonade but what they don't tell you is that you have to get the sweetner yourself.

Sannah · 06-14-2007, 12:44 PM

Carolyn, you are upset because you aren't getting the support from your family? Was there anything else with the trial? or is it just the commute by yourself and going through it all by yoursel?.

Lost_in_Time · 06-14-2007, 01:09 PM

Hang in there, Carolyn. You need to fight for this. You have lemons...I'm drinking lemonade right now in honor of you. I've already done the work and made the lemonade for you so maybe it will be easier...know that we are thinking of you today.