Does it get better? - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

sher66 · 07-07-2007, 01:46 PM

I was married to a man who mentally and phsyically hurt me for 13 years. I became angry built a wall around myself in order to survive and get out in 1999. My life now is great, my children are in highschool and college, both doing very well. But, now i have panic attacks and depression. I have been seeing a therapist for two months and started taking celexa. The meds help, but i can't get over my anger. My ex has never been held accountable for what he did to us. He got treatment and of course is back to his normal behavior..... I have flashbacks if i see a news story on abuse. I want to be able to move on and leave my past in the past.
sherr

isitme · 07-07-2007, 05:10 PM

I was in the same boat as you. I got out in '94, built up that wall and continued to be angry until a year or 2 ago. Some people will never, ever be held accountable. Like me, your life isn't great because like me, you wouldn't be here talking about it. It is more a case of "my life is great but"..........

Welcome and share more when you are ready. Although he may not ever admit his faults, you can forgive yourself for having married that person, accept it was part of your life, then the anger will disappear, guaranteed, I've been there.

Survivor 1957 · 07-07-2007, 07:16 PM

Sher66

I got out of my marriage in 87, simular things, mental and phy abuse and sexual abuse. I did not start flashbacks till 5 years ago, now I have panic attacks and depression, was diagnosed with PTSD 4 years ago. Worked with a therapist for a year and thought I was better and didn't need any help, lol

This spring it hit all over again with a vengeance. I am now being honest (and that is so very hard) with my PC doctor and therapist and talking on the forum helps. I do not feel alone anymore. I now know there are others that I can talk to that will not judge me and are there to listen to your fears and hopes.

Now and then one may hit a nerve and you may get upset but continue with the boards and you will see that it helps to let it out. I know that this is how it has been for me.
K

sher66 · 07-07-2007, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by isitme

I was in the same boat as you. I got out in '94, built up that wall and continued to be angry until a year or 2 ago. Some people will never, ever be held accountable. Like me, your life isn't great because like me, you wouldn't be here talking about it. It is more a case of "my life is great but"..........

Welcome and share more when you are ready. Although he may not ever admit his faults, you can forgive yourself for having married that person, accept it was part of your life, then the anger will disappear, guaranteed, I've been there.

Forgiving myself, I never thought to do that! I have been so focused on him being accountable...... Thanks for the insight.
sherr

sher66 · 07-07-2007, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Survivor 1957

Sher66

I got out of my marriage in 87, simular things, mental and phy abuse and sexual abuse. I did not start flashbacks till 5 years ago, now I have panic attacks and depression, was diagnosed with PTSD 4 years ago. Worked with a therapist for a year and thought I was better and didn't need any help, lol

This spring it hit all over again with a vengeance. I am now being honest (and that is so very hard) with my PC doctor and therapist and talking on the forum helps. I do not feel alone anymore. I now know there are others that I can talk to that will not judge me and are there to listen to your fears and hopes.

Now and then one may hit a nerve and you may get upset but continue with the boards and you will see that it helps to let it out. I know that this is how it has been for me.
K

I find that i start laughing when my therapist ask me to reveal or answer certain things. I don't want to cry and show that i'm weak.... Thank you for sharing with me and letting me know i am not alone.
sherr