Hi all...I hope that everyone is well.
I usually post more on the depression board, but I'm really struggling with some ptsd issues today.
Today started out as a rough day to begin with. I just wasn't really feeling "there". No particular reason, just really woke up feeling down and out, and just couldn't snap out of it, and it gradually just continued to go down hill.
In the afternoon one of the regular hospital security guards came in to talk. He was just carrying on regular conversation...but I don't remember one dang word that he spoke. Not ONE word! When he walked in, the first thing I noticed was his gun...and that was the end of it. The flashbacks came back like I've never experienced before...the gun...the barrell...the pushing of it into my head....the clicking noise it was making....his anger....my son in the swing crying and reaching out for me...the pure evil that was behind the gun. The flashbacks...God they are something horrible. These flashbacks have taken everything out of me today. I haven't been able to control them. I'm in a hospital for Gods sake...I should be able to walk myself around them, but I keep walking into them. It's like a movie stuck on repeat...and I'm really starting to feel like I'm losing it! What do I do??? How do I get my mind to realize that I'm going to be okay? I'm safe, I'm in the hospital? How do I kick these flashbacks?? How am I going to get through this--if all it took was a "SECURITY GUARD" with a gun to walk in???? What's going to happen if I'm back out in the real world, where I see cops everyday?? I'm really struggling here...and I need some help. How am I going to do this???????????
Amber
Re: Desperate for some help........................
Quote:
Originally Posted by forthemasses
Amber:
You are going to do this by taking "one step at a time."
It is easier said than done though.
Try closing your eyes and taking some deep breaths.
Inhale...........hold a few seconds (count to 5) then exhale. Repeat a few times.
Imagine exhaling those issues that are effecting you so they literally become non-existent.
Open your eyes and you will find that you are in the "here and now."
All we have is today; live for today for what happened "yesterday" you have no control over.
It's easy to say "if we turn back the clock" but in all reality we cannot.
Our actions today; this very day can dictate how we feel tomorrow.
This, we have control over, as it is a matter of choice.
Ryan
Hi Ryan,
I am really just having a hard time with this. A really hard time. I've never had such problems with this...and it's been damn draining. Those thoughts, those horrible thoughts, Ryan are still going. I've tried doing the deep breathing, and the visualizations, and I've taken some sedatives, and they remain there. I fell asleep for about an hour, only to be ripped out of my sleep by yet, more flashbacks. So in saying this...what do you do when you take one step forward, but kicked back five steps. What do you do when no matter how many steps you take, you're still in the same damn position?? This is not a choice Ryan. Other than "pulling the plug" to make it stop, this is so far from a choice.
Re: Desperate for some help........................
Quote:
Originally Posted by NVD
Hi Ryan,
I am really just having a hard time with this. A really hard time. I've never had such problems with this...and it's been damn draining. Those thoughts, those horrible thoughts, Ryan are still going. I've tried doing the deep breathing, and the visualizations, and I've taken some sedatives, and they remain there. I fell asleep for about an hour, only to be ripped out of my sleep by yet, more flashbacks. So in saying this...what do you do when you take one step forward, but kicked back five steps. What do you do when no matter how many steps you take, you're still in the same damn position?? This is not a choice Ryan. Other than "pulling the plug" to make it stop, this is so far from a choice.
I see.
First of all, you haven't been getting enough rest, which can definitely alter one's perception(from personal experience).
I am now takind Ambien CR 12.5mg and 2 Trazadone(100mg) tablets "jump start" the sleeping process.
Linear Mode
