hard day - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

Survivor 1957 · 07-20-2007, 05:36 PM

I had a hard day today, work was sso dam busy, so many accidents and domestics, a near drowning and oui arrrests. I did not get breaks and the stress was building so bad. My chest started to hurt...no one to relive me for 8 hours. My voice started to break up again do to the over use and the stress.

The side of my head has started hurting again. I now its the flash backs rearing up and I am trying like hell to hold on. I am just so tired.

I am so drained physicaly and emotionaly, I try so hard to act like I am in control of my stuff and then I get home and it hits like a brick over the head. I do not want to talk to any one or see any one,. I am afraid I may lose it all together.

My boss wanted to know why I was stress last month, well if he would just pay attention to the type of calls, and the amount of calls, maybe he would understand.

I think I may start the Ativan to day.
k

ICC · 07-21-2007, 03:48 AM

Dear K.....Start the ativan. It should calm you and give you enough relief from the anxiety to rest and recup a little. What a trying day you had. It's so hard to get through and you're right., all we want to do is get home and be alone. The silence is much needed at that point expecially when someone works a job as you do with no end to the stress. I hope tomorrow the sun is shining for you and you get some rest and gain some peace.

prayers are with you,
ICC

Survivor 1957 · 07-21-2007, 06:11 AM

icc,
fitful night, bad dreams, would love more sleep but thats not going to happen. I remember Sid saying if I could figure out the triggers to the Flash backs I could learn to handle them better. Well my job is turning into one big trigger.

I have such a headache this morning and the meds just log me down. I am off to the beach for some cool fresh air and I think I will try to meditate. I wont be going into the water today, to much of a pull to swim straight out.

god knows i hate this stuff.
k

ICC · 07-21-2007, 12:01 PM

K...until we figure out our triggers it's impossible to work on controlling them or getting through them faster. My job was also a trigger. I haven't worked in over a year due to be injured. It took me 6 months of not being there before my mind exploded. Then after a short breakdown things started to make sense and get easier. I am not suggesting you leave your job but if it triggers you constantly maybe this should be your 1st issue in therapy as it's such a big part of your life and so much time is spent there. I would only take the ativan at night so you can sleep. This way you're not brain fogged all day.

Enjoy the beach. It's a beautiful day where I am.

ICC

Survivor 1957 · 07-22-2007, 11:05 AM

i did go to the beach and the sounds of the waves is so cleansing, it gets me to a point of being able to breath agian. The real good part is , there were hardly anybody there.

today is better, did not sleep that well but breathing with out pain, and that is always a pluss.

I am just starting with a new therapist and i also agree that work needs to be dicussed. she called me the other day to make sure i was ok, I guess I made her a littel nervos with my truthful answers.

k