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Old 08-28-2007, 08:01 AM   #61
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Hi Ryan, sorry to hear about your daughter. Sounds like you are doing a good job dealing with it though. I had a lot of trouble as a teenager and I made it okay!

 
Old 08-28-2007, 10:23 AM   #62
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Hi Ryan, sorry to hear about your daughter. Sounds like you are doing a good job dealing with it though. I had a lot of trouble as a teenager and I made it okay!
Dear Sannah:

It all boils down to (and the social worker agrees) me being involved with this MVA.

She literally feels that I am going to die and told me that she cannot bear to hear about my doctors appointments and exams/routine tests(it's been over two years)

She only wants to know if I need surgery and the exact dates.

We are dealing.

By the way, I just came from the doctors office; i am now anemic and doc feels it's due to the meds i have been taking(off to the gastroenterologist on the 4th of September).

The hits just keep on coming; yet I remain, dare I say, optimistic?(the jury is out on this one)

Thank you.

Ryan

 
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Old 08-28-2007, 12:14 PM   #63
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

My Dear friend, Ryan.....It is one hit after another isn't it? I know my whole life has been like that expecially as I got older. No I have to tell you that the jury is in on being optimistic. We have no choice. He doesn't give us one as He calls the shots. Soooooooo where does that leave us? We can either give up and sit and waste away slowly OR we can be optimistic, waste away slowly BUT keep our faith and a smile while we going on. I know which road you've already chosen. Me too. Sometimes we sway, but go on for our kids??? As far as your daughter goes, I know it can be devastating BUT all young girls lose thier virginity at some point, most not the way they or their parents intended. I know how you feel as my two oldest daughters both married theri childhood sweetheart and my youngest (28) is still single. She was very lonely at 15. Bad friends, her father and I had divorced and I met my present husband . So her first time was due to loneliness. Everyone had someone but her. She just told me this a couple of years ago and it still breaks my heart to know that she was that lonely and I didn't see it. Of course your precious daughter would be afraid and reach out. You've been her all for a long time and she's scared. You're a great dad and have it in you to reassure her about your health. I know it's scary and frustrating to you also BUT you'll be there to take care of her. It's all so exhausting at times. God gives us these precious Angel's we call children to help us over the rough spots. DVD night sounds great. We'll catch up on your health tomorrow. I'm sure the otho is really ****** out the outcome of your lumbar.

Grasshopper

 
Old 08-28-2007, 12:45 PM   #64
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Ryan....Hubby picked everything up today and the first thought I had when he pulled up was that this was all that was left of my daughter. A few boxes.
I started to go through some things and the pictures were very difficult. Some brought back wonderful memories and some made me miss her beauty and fun spirited way even more. Her handbag ( yes another) still has the change in it that was there when she passed. I knew her husband didn't have it in him to go through anything. Not sure what I'm going to do yet. Probably one day at a time. Will give her sister's what they want, put some items out in my hom and pack the rest away with other memories that I have. Looking at different pictures and remembering different events from her High school graduation though their engagement, wedding and life together until she passed has made me truly remember what a wonderful, lovely, happy young woman she was. That is the image that lives with me. I can't seem to hold the tears back so I will end there. I miss her very much, and know that her sister's will hurt as they go through the memories.

Grasshopper

 
Old 08-28-2007, 02:46 PM   #65
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Grasshopper:

You wrote:

"I can't seem to hold the tears back so I will end there."

You waited ten years for this moment; let it flow.

I understand.

Ryan

 
Old 08-28-2007, 03:08 PM   #66
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ICC View Post
My Dear friend, Ryan.....It is one hit after another isn't it? I know my whole life has been like that expecially as I got older. No I have to tell you that the jury is in on being optimistic. We have no choice. He doesn't give us one as He calls the shots. Soooooooo where does that leave us? We can either give up and sit and waste away slowly OR we can be optimistic, waste away slowly BUT keep our faith and a smile while we going on. I know which road you've already chosen. Me too. Sometimes we sway, but go on for our kids??? As far as your daughter goes, I know it can be devastating BUT all young girls lose thier virginity at some point, most not the way they or their parents intended. I know how you feel as my two oldest daughters both married theri childhood sweetheart and my youngest (28) is still single. She was very lonely at 15. Bad friends, her father and I had divorced and I met my present husband . So her first time was due to loneliness. Everyone had someone but her. She just told me this a couple of years ago and it still breaks my heart to know that she was that lonely and I didn't see it. Of course your precious daughter would be afraid and reach out. You've been her all for a long time and she's scared. You're a great dad and have it in you to reassure her about your health. I know it's scary and frustrating to you also BUT you'll be there to take care of her. It's all so exhausting at times. God gives us these precious Angel's we call children to help us over the rough spots. DVD night sounds great. We'll catch up on your health tomorrow. I'm sure the otho is really ****** out the outcome of your lumbar.

Grasshopper
Grasshopper:

The way it was presented to me from the social worker was that my current physical limitations are affecting my daughter.

Do I get upset with myself(for not seeing this), the insurance company and driver (who still maintain their innocence); the witness(who backs up the driver's lies with more of the same).

I alerted my attorney to this, as the injuries sustained and their progression, are key reasons that my daughter is acting out.

Two years and I only now put the pieces together?

So many indicators.

I almost feel that I let her down.
-----------------------------------------------
Enough wallowing; must keep a "stiff upper lip" and all.

I'll be alright.

Ryan

 
Old 08-29-2007, 05:12 AM   #67
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

I know you will be , Ryan. But it's so hard when issues of ours effect our children. It's hard when anything negative effects our children. You'll both be fine now that you are aware. Yes I believe it can take us forever for see that our children love us so very much and we are not concealing very well what we are going through that they have been affected. Have been there with my youngest. She just started to open up to me in the past maybe 6 months as to how she felt she had to protect me and after I was injured how hard it was to be here and see th epain and the hell that I went through. She felt she would in the end be alone as she doesn't have a significant other and her oldest sister is married with kids. I had no idea what was on her mind and she shielded me from it. Your daughter is alot younger so to me she's feeling and expressing what she feels and it's all normal. Hard as it is for you to accept , it's still normal between a child and parent who love each other. God will be with both of you and you will both see this through together. Hopefuly you now knowing just how much she sees and feels in regards to you it will help you to not feel alone. I know, I know. You're the parent. BUT sometimes we need their comfort as they need ours.

Grasshopper

 
Old 08-29-2007, 05:37 AM   #68
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Grasshopper:

A "little bird told me that a repeat performance of "Lean on Me" is in order for

tomorrow. (hmm, did you ever notice which eye the "smiley face" had

closed?)

Look at it this way , only one more to go.

Abundant prayers:with and for you

Ryan

Last edited by Phoenix; 08-29-2007 at 09:05 AM.

 
Old 08-29-2007, 06:19 AM   #69
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

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Do I get upset with myself(for not seeing this), the insurance company and driver (who still maintain their innocence); the witness(who backs up the driver's lies with more of the same).
How about getting upset with no one? Does someone have to be blamed? We are affected by our environments, each and everyone of us. It is okay to be affected by our environments. As long as we catch it, understand it and work with it, it will be okay. Please don't beat yourself up over this. Your plate was overflowing, you were overwhelmed. I affected my children with my anxiety quite a bit when they were little. I finally realized it (after 2 years!), stopped it, went about understanding how I affected them and then worked to repair it. Children are not made of glass (we would have broken years ago if this were true!!!!).

 
Old 08-29-2007, 06:28 AM   #70
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Take care.

Ryan

Last edited by Phoenix; 08-29-2007 at 09:06 AM.

 
Old 08-29-2007, 06:37 AM   #71
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Ryan, I didn't mean for you to fix your daughter. The social worker route sounds the best. I just brought up my issues to show you that we all affect our children....

 
Old 08-29-2007, 06:55 AM   #72
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Sannah,

I am still having a rough time with everything at the moment.

This is not my thread anyway.

Take care.

Ryan

Last edited by Phoenix; 08-29-2007 at 08:58 AM.

 
Old 08-29-2007, 07:11 AM   #73
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

You take care Ryan.....

 
Old 08-29-2007, 09:20 AM   #74
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Hi Ryan..No i didn't notice which eye was winking until you pointed it out I will be able to hear you singing while the surgery is going on as I did last week. Hopefully by the end of the week I will be singing " I can see clearly now".


Ryan.....Of course you're still upset and will be for awhile. I would guess until you know your daughter is back on her feet and on a good path. It's called being a good parent. I think you know by now I don't do rights and wrongs BUT truly believe whichever way you feel is best to handle matters I'm certain is the best way in your home. We are all different. We are all effected differently by circumstances. Some things that bother me you may blow off and vs. versa. I hope I didn't slight your feelings in any way. I know it's hard and reading your words brought so much of my own back with my youngest. At times I have a bad habit of walking away when something really hurts and looking at it from a distance. So please forgive me if I made you feel as if all wasn't important. It is and will continue to be until the two of you are OK again.

Prayers will continue,
Grasshopper

 
Old 08-29-2007, 09:29 AM   #75
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Grasshopper:

I am just in a "bad space" right now, which (for me anyway) affects my total
existence.

I am in strange, new territory once again and am trying to show as much strength as I can muster; just in "frustrated,furious and extremely sensitive" mode, I guess.

I was just beginning to get into the frame of mind that accepted the extent of my injuries(as they are present).

I just need time with this one, as this one hurts the most.

Be well.

Ryan

(I'll still be there tomorrow)

Last edited by Phoenix; 08-29-2007 at 09:33 AM.

 
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