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Old 08-29-2007, 10:44 AM   #76
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Dear Ryan,
I do understand. When anything affects our children it is always harder. I will be here if/when you need me.

Thanks for the prayers and going with me for my second surgery.

Grasshopper

 
Old 08-30-2007, 03:50 AM   #77
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Grasshopper:

Thanks for the post.

Me miss your surgery; no way.

Please post how everything went, when you are up to it.

Take care.

Ryan

 
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Old 08-30-2007, 06:47 PM   #78
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Ryan,
I'm sorry to hear about the difficulty that your daughter is having right now. You seem to be taking all of the blame for her decisions and I don't think that is very fair to yourself.
There are many reasons why teens act out. Your accident and current health situation may only be a part of what is going on here. That is just how I feel, anyway. You are so hard on yourself sometimes. Keep praying for your daughter - I know that prayers for your daughter can completely alter the path that she seems to be heading down.
I'm sorry if I've been too opinionated here...



Take care of yourself,
Beka

 
Old 08-30-2007, 06:48 PM   #79
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

ICC,

I hope your second surgery goes well. Hopefully the family situation has calmed down a bit and you are feeling some much deserved love and support.

Beka

 
Old 08-30-2007, 06:53 PM   #80
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Beka,

I understand what you are saying but it is just the timing of things.

I tried to look back as far as possible and she didn't act out "at all" until my accident.

I am always harder on myself than anyone on me.

Wish I could say otherwise.

Ryan

 
Old 08-30-2007, 07:05 PM   #81
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Ryan,
When I was about 17, I completely went off the deep end. It was for many reasons, but my mother still feels guilty to this day for things that she did or didn't do that contributed to my "acting out." It's our job as parents to do our best with our kids and feeling guilty and blaming ourselves is a natural part of it all. All we can do is our best.

Beka

 
Old 08-30-2007, 07:13 PM   #82
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Beka,

I understand what you are saying(I really do) but my best[under the circumstances] was not good enough; when a social worker and family physician confirm what I already stated(my daughter acting out because of my inability to spend time with her), it's rather difficult to see it otherwise.

Ryan

 
Old 08-30-2007, 07:23 PM   #83
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

I"m sorry, Ryan. Having the social worker and doctor tell you that must have been extremely hard to hear. Does your daughter talk to you about things? What does she say about all of this?
My first thought was to say that "this, too shall pass," but I'm not so sure I believe that statement anymore. I don't know if it ever truly "passes" - I think it just morphs into something different. I'm sorry that things are so rough right now.

Beka

 
Old 08-30-2007, 07:54 PM   #84
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Beka,

Daughter and I had a long talk and the more I hear from her, the more I see the hurt inside of her.

Ryan

 
Old 08-31-2007, 04:04 AM   #85
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Grasshopper:

How are you feeling?

Ryan

 
Old 08-31-2007, 04:15 AM   #86
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Good morning.....Ryan I am well. second surgery went as well as the first BUT i knew everything that was going on this time. UGH! They told me they call it the second eye syndrome. Sight is great for 24 hours. I see the surgeon this morning and then it will be a month's recup until I see him again. BP was 120/65 so I know not smoking is a wonderful thing for my health.

Ryan....I do know how you feel about your daughter. I raised 3 of them and had things go awry at times because of something I didn't do or time I didn't have. Please try to not blame yourself as the accident wasn't your fault. I need to get ready for the Dr. but will check back later.

Grasshopper

 
Old 08-31-2007, 04:37 AM   #87
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Grasshopper:

It's good to know that all is well with you, with respect to the surgery and the BP.

I also like the fact that there is a follow up the day after surgery.

I get my stitches taken out this morning and then another appointment afterwards.

My daughter wants to go everywhere with me now, so I oblige her.

School is less than a week away; i need to give her reassurances that I will be here as long as humanly possible for her.

The accident was not my fault but then it boils down to the "blame game" all over again; which "re-invents the wheel" as to my anger directed at the lying driver,"witness" and insurance company(come to find out that the insurance company stated I was on a cell phone, whilst I had none in the vehicle or on my person at the time of the accident).

We'll talk, my friend.

Ryan

 
Old 08-31-2007, 05:24 AM   #88
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Ryan, what are your beliefs on punishment?

 
Old 08-31-2007, 05:44 AM   #89
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sannah View Post
Ryan, what are your beliefs on punishment?
Sannah,

Let the punishment fit the crime.

No one receives jail time realistically for these kinds of lies anyway.

It's done every day to individuals just like me, that suffer at the hands of drivers, whose insurance companies have attorneys for this specific type of "damage control."

They will attempt to twist the truth or "dig up" anything from birth until present, that may suit their needs.

That's why I never wanted to become an attorney(at least that type anyway).

Money: All the money in the world wouldn't or rather couldn't make my entire situation any better.

At the end of the day, there will be no apologies and the three-way split(attorney,insurance companies and then me).

Sounds mighty cold but that is how it's done.........

the file is closed and onto the next client.

Stand for something or fall for anything.

It's not over until the lady sings and I believe the other side has already written their own opera.

Ryan

Ryan

 
Old 08-31-2007, 05:59 AM   #90
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Re: Problems, and then some more problems!

Ryan, I was talking more about how you are punishing yourself here.

 
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