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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board


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Old 09-15-2007, 03:37 AM   #1
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Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

My husband has only recently been diagnosed with PTSD. He now says he needs time alone to think and can not be with myself and our two children. I am lost and do not know what to do. Hoping someone can give me some advice on how to help him.

 
Old 09-15-2007, 10:15 AM   #2
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

Hello.
He needs time alone, its so hard having PTSD especially when you have been diagnosed and you realise how bad it is.
My advice is to give him some space but also be there for him-he needs you. Maybe go for a long walk just the two of you and if the conversation leads to his ilness talk to him. I know it can be hard but try not to get agitated.
Best of Luck.
Cas

 
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Old 09-16-2007, 04:37 AM   #3
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

Hi Shelb...and wlecome. I am so sorry your family is going through this. PTSD is a really tough disorder not only to get a grip on but for those without it to understand. There is alot of knowledge here so post whenever you can.

I can't add to what Cas said because I really feel she answered wonderfully. Stick together, help him when he needs it and know that this will not be easy for either of you.

Cas You OK??


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Old 09-16-2007, 05:07 AM   #4
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

Hi, I new to the message board, PTSD is a very complex disorder, I was diagnosised in July 2007 and have been working a very good program and moving toward recovery, My advise to you is to educate yourself about PTSD, Is it from war, abuse, etc. Educated yourself, he need to educated also, so he knows what to expect in the future from his brain and the chemicals changes that happen when a memory comes. Find a therapist who specializes in PTSD. [removed]
Hope it helps

Last edited by mod-anon; 09-16-2007 at 11:54 PM. Reason: do not instruct members to do outside searches

 
Old 09-17-2007, 06:56 PM   #5
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

i will tell you the same as the rest. It is a long road, but you can make it work if you try to understand what he is going through. Come to the boards and read and see that what you are living with has ups and downs. Be there for him but make sure he does have space.

I know I have trouble with crowds and family gatherings. I do not go to most of them. WHen I do go to the required ones I stay just long enough and then leave before I blow. Try going to events in seperate cars,(if possible) that way you can stilll enjoy yourself and he can leave.

Do not stop living your life. Just except that he has issues and needs to work it out. Let him know you love him and are there when needed.
k

 
Old 09-20-2007, 05:22 PM   #6
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by shelb00 View Post
My husband has only recently been diagnosed with PTSD. He now says he needs time alone to think and can not be with myself and our two children. I am lost and do not know what to do. Hoping someone can give me some advice on how to help him.
Dear shelb,

Is everything alright?

Ryan

 
Old 09-21-2007, 03:22 AM   #7
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

Thanks to you all for your advice. It is so good to have someone to talk to. Some days i think things are getting better, then other days are terrible. I probably expect too much. It is hard for me, as i dont know what it is like to suffer from PTSD or what my husband is really going through. I have been trying to stay positive and give him some space.
He is now seeing a psychologist once a week. This has been hard for him as part of the treatment is reliving the horror of what caused the PTSD in the first place (he served in East Timor and had to witness and to perform himself some terrible things. He didnt tell anyone about what occurred and had basically blocked out the memory. However it all came back when he was going through some other family trauma recently and hence the PTSD.)
I am hoping though that with regular sessions the psych will be able to help him. I was hoping to go and see the psych with him some time soon, just to get some ideas of what i should do? Is this a good idea?
Any advice is always greatly appreciated. I am just hoping to get an idea of what it is like to suffer from PTSD (hubby isnt the best talker!) and how i can best help him.

 
Old 09-21-2007, 04:04 AM   #8
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

hmm... not a good talker. Most of us aren't (especially about the PTSD stuff itself). It's understandable.

I don't know about going to the shrink with him... have you asked him what he thinks? He may or may not be supportive of that, but you could always go to see the doc independently of hubby, too. Of course he (she?) won't be able to tell you anything specific about your husband, but should be able to educate you about the disorder.

It's hard to tell you what to expect. Just ask any of us; one of the earmarks of this disorder is that you don't know what to expect from day to day. It's infuriating, distressing, you name it.

The others have it right; just be prepared to support him, talk with him, give him some space if he needs it. With work, you two can come through this.

 
Old 09-22-2007, 08:38 AM   #9
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Re: Help! My husband has PTSD and im not sure what to do

Two days in the life of a ptsd sufferer.
Without a trigger.........Life couldn't be better. I'm happily married and take care of my kids. I've embarked on a great project, renovating a house and love what I do, anything diy/garden related. Always busy.

When I've been hit by a dreaded trigger.....ugh. I hate myself. I feel unworthy of any/everything. I'm numb. I feel literally glued to a seat. I can't concentrate. I forget things, followed by a greater sense of being totally useless. I feel hubby/kids deserve much more than a useless lump as me. Almost mute, yet long for hubby to say something. He tries to make light of the situation. Sometimes it pulls me out of it, other I momentarily hate him for it, (I see it as he is ridiculing me, for being so useless). Basically I feel like I'm going mad. I KNOW all these thoughts are irrational, but that doesn't stop me from having them. Then I would drink to escape the thoughts. I've not been hit this hard with one in a long while. They suck. I could write a book.............. I feel like two different people. Find it stupid then to accept I felt like I did, once the mood has left me!!!! Hope this helps to give you insight of how muddled your hubby may be feeling at times.

 
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