I thought I would give some good news for once. I went to the surgeons office today and there was no cancer in the lymph nodes and the parameters are clear. The tumor was bigger than they thought but that only means I may have chemotherapy and radiation.
The big news is that it looks like they got it all! Now I wait for the oncologist appointment to find out how the next step in this cancer journey will go. Nothing like hurry up and wait....
Hugs to all,
I know it is the control freak in me (ptsd) needing to know what the next step is, I was happy to hear the news about the cancer operation going well but I need to know what comes next NOW. It is so hard for me to sit back and wait for the phone to ring and wait for the oncologist to tell me when to come in.
To top it off the Dr wont let me go back to work for 3 more weeks. I figured 1 more week of healing but he said 3 due to what he believes is my stress level. Wow me stressed (haha) I was amazed that he picked up on it so fast , or maybe that is the caner talking to him. Not sure but at least he is listening to my health issues, ( better then I am).
So 3 weeks off to regroup, snf heal, wow my therapist tried to get me to take time off last May when I went to the hospital from work with chest pains. Now look, 3 weeks to clam down and there is no way around it, he will not sign off on me till Nov 14th . Forced R&R.
I thought I had dealt with the mental part of having breast cancer until last night. I should back up a little. I had my appointment with the oncology Dr and found out that I have to have chemmo and radiation, and that I would be bald by December. I thought I was going to be ok with the news. After 5 hours on the phone with friends and family I went to bed and sobbed for hours.
I think it has it me that I have BREAST CANCER and I have no control over it! I am tying like hell not to slip into depression and hope like hell I do not have any issues with flash back while I am so stressed out. That would be a lot of fun to deal with both.
I know I have good care, I know the out look is good, I just did not plan this in my life. I was trying to get healthy whit the past and now the future is so dam muddy.
I'm sorry K. The unknown is VERY scary for those of us who NEED to have control. What I have learned about control is that I learned to have security and learned what control stuff was really useless and I needed to get rid of because it did not bring feelings of security. I hope this makes sense. Keep posting.....
I am still trying to locate the answer to why bad things happen to good people and the only answer I seem to arrive at is to make us both wiser and stronger.
Living life on life's terms can indeed be unsettling.
You have just been given the news and need a bit of time to "process" it all;
believe it or not, even crying can be very therapeutic in and of itself.
True, it is in the near future but there is also the distant future to consider, which may be brighter than you could ever imagine.
Know that we are here for you and don't be afraid to post as often as you feel the need.
Hi,
I want to share a funny side to all this sad stuff,
My friends came with me to look at wigs on Saturday, here is was 75 mph winds and torrential rains and we are wig shopping... Nothing will stop 3 women on a mission for their friend in need. They were so good to me and we had a lot of laughter during the trying on the new hairdos. It was just what I needed to get through a very difficult time.
We lost power for 15 hours and did nothing but talk about the good time and the bad times. It was very helpful to hear their fears also. I made them swear they would not hold back. That they would be honest with me though this mess.
Hey!
Im glad you have good friends and you can see the lighter side.
Sometimes all we need is a good distraction and it can make a lot better.
Hope you keep having fun days.
we are here for you also.
Hi,
I want to share a funny side to all this sad stuff,
My friends came with me to look at wigs on Saturday, here is was 75 mph winds and torrential rains and we are wig shopping... Nothing will stop 3 women on a mission for their friend in need. They were so good to me and we had a lot of laughter during the trying on the new hairdos. It was just what I needed to get through a very difficult time.
We lost power for 15 hours and did nothing but talk about the good time and the bad times. It was very helpful to hear their fears also. I made them swear they would not hold back. That they would be honest with me though this mess.
It was a good day,
Thanks for being here k
Dear K,
Now that is what I call friends; count your blessings as people are placed in our lives at certain times for different purposes............
all made possible by your 3 weeks of R&R and last but by no means least,The Man Upstairs .
I am not sure when I am going back to work yet. My friends and my Theraist all want me to stay away from the Police Department at least through the chemmo. that would put me out till the 1st of the year. They say the type of stress and amount of germs I come in contact with is not a good thing at this time. I am going to have to talk to my oncologist about this.. The work aloholic in me is having a hard time with this... I will let you know what I figure out.
.
