I am a private in the US army reserve MP corps. I was sexually assaulted during basic training. I really need some advice from someone who's gone through something similar because the civilian and military world's are completely different. I have been absolutely miserable for the past year and a half and I feel completely hopeless because I'm not sure what I can do anymore. I can't live like this for the next 6 1/2 years. I guess I was just nieve because I didn;t even think about the possibilty of anything like this happens. Going to Iraq for women is even more difficult. I not only have to worry about getting shot to death or blown up but i have to worry about getting raped or assaulted by our own guys. I wake up thinking about it and go to bed thinking about it. Everytime I put that uniform on I just want to put a bulley through my head. I see absolutely no end in sight. The military doesn't seem to care to do anything about it, so what in the world I am supposed to do about. If I actually last until my sentence is over there won't be much left anyway. I feel like I'm on the verge of snapping. Please...someone give me something...anything...i've all about given up.
Thank you for your reply. I really don't even want to go through the process of taking legal action because it's just going to be even more tramatic, and the person who did it really wouldn't get much in the way of punishment so I really don't see the point. Because they wouldn't kick him out so he would be in a position to do it again anyway. I just really can't live this way anymore.
I'm not in the military either , I do have two brothers who were in the military so I have an idea how it works - or doesn't as the case may be and I wanted to try to help with some suggestions if I can - they may be of no use but you sound as if you need some help now so here goes,
Do you have a staff psychologist/counciller or psychiatriast you can talk to, or if you're religious what about a priest or vicar?
You really need to talk to someone, is there someone in your platoon you can or have confided in who can help you? what about a help line?
Maybe you can get out on compassionate grounds? Do you have family members who you can talk to about this? Please, please, please find someone to talk to even if it's us here - there are a lot of people here who have been through bad experiences who will know how you feel about some of the things that you have been through - I know I have been able to find good advice here when I have been at my lowest, I hope you are holding up ok and that you find someone to help you. Take Care MBC
Thank you for your post. I have spoke with my chain of command but I feel like I'm getting the run around. Every time I talk to him he says he will call with more info. and doesn't. I really do not want help from the military other than a discharge. I would like to speak with a civilian therapist but I do not have insurance right now, and I won't again until I am a full time college student. Whenever that may be. My boyfriend and I talk about it also. But he usually just gets really angry at the person who did it. Thank you for you post...it is greatly appreciated
Hi Lost, I am sorry. You could contact United Way to find therapists who do sliding scale payment. Every county has government mental health services. I can't believe this kind of cover up stuff still happens in the military. I am sorry....
Please go to the sexual trauma therapist on base, they have a new title for women like us. MILITARY SEXUAL TRAUMA. PTSD unit should also help. If this does not help contact the base comander and advise him you are not being treated for a rape case, or sexual assault. If this does not work contact you congressman, or women. The military does not want a black eye.
I to am a MST survivor. Do not do as I did, (i waited 24 years and buried it till one day i could not bury it any more). Seek help now. The longer you wait the harder it gets! I waited to long and the flash back keep coming. Please reach out to a professional in ptsd and Military Sexual Trauma.
The Women Veterans Health Strategic Health Care Group is part of the Office of Public Health and Enviromental Hazards (OPHEH)
Last edited by mod-anon; 02-11-2008 at 10:56 PM.
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I really don't have a base. I'm in limbo right now if you will. I moved away from MO where my reserve unit was and am now living in AL. I really don't feel comfortable seeking help from the organization who caused this in the first place. Talking to people in the military makes me extremely nervous. Everytime I go to drill I just feel like I'm on the verge of snapping.
If you are near a va clinic, they have therapists that can advise you via the phone. call a help line, go on line to a vet center,.
I really do belive you should try the base therapists. they work with active and civillians when it comes to sexual assault. How about the down town crisis center? Please reach out for a therapist, I know it is hard,. but it is harder to do it alone.
The boards help, keep posting and talk to us. We are here for you. PTSD is a hard thing to live with, try to let someone help you help yourself.
i forgot one thing to tell you. it was not the military that did the sexual assault, it was a person. pleas remember that. also, allot of the therapists are civillians. let me know how you are doing.
the first step is reaching out for help. it is also the hardest one. I know, I was in your shoes 30 years ago. I know how do i know how it feels since it has been 30 years....
well I do know... i know how it feels to be the only women in a all male crew, i know what it is like not knowing what to do...i do know that doing nothing as much worse then reahing out. your reaching now on this board, the next step is getting a therapist.
there should be a help line in your area that can advise you,. but i really belive the on base therapist needs to be in on this. I f you are really thinking of harming yourself reach out. Also if lfe is that upsetting were your in panic mode you may be able to get a discharge on a PTSD MST cause. seek leagle aid at the provost office.
I am so sorry about what happened. It was my dream to be in the military, but got shot down after I signed the paperwork (devoloped asthma whilst waiting to be shipped to BT). Anyhow, I am also a military brat. The ARMY has The Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Program (SAPR), you could look into. Was it your CO? It is a person, not the military that did it to you. Think of the uniform as a disguise. And trust me, you need to talk about it. I was raped, and I really took it so deep, that I became suicidal. It was the fact that I thought I was unfaithful to the love of my life. With help, I have learned how to deal with it, and over come it. By the way, the idiot who did it to you violated the UCMJ. You can do civi counceling by getting a referral by your primary doctor. If you would like to just do things annoymous you can contact Samaritans ( a UK Group that helps).
Hello little sister. Give me a moment I have to reread your post a few times.
You are thinking . What do I do. I had to work with this guy. I can't run then I would be AWOL. I can't stay because I feared I would be attack again. If I file a report. Who will protect me from my unit. Will he punished. A lot of things can or might happen. Yes he might get away with it. Especially if he holds a job that makes him irreplaceable.
My question to you- Are you going to let this ----- person take away your power. Are you surrendering your soul to a fear that may last a lifetime. Think before you do. Keep emotions in line. Please if anything go to get help. Chaplin or Jag Goto the clinic You are injured and in need of medical care. Isn't this what your family want for you.
You need to Have friends stand by you. In times like this you will be very emotional and a calmer minds need to prevail. keep in contact with family. Have copies of all documentation from your assault ,down to the gas recite Send copies home. Keep notes of what is happening to you now, your moods everything. Give to no one or send Home.. Do not assume anything
Then there is contacting your congressman from your home state.
I do suffer from my time in the service. And dear sister we are not alone. In the past 25 years I met women survivors as far back as the Korean war. Many are just now coming to grips with what happen. Please think of your health and happiness.
for those who fought for it freedom has a flavor the protected will never know
Last edited by LadyVeteran; 02-29-2008 at 07:36 AM.