Calm - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

maybecrazy · 05-03-2008, 03:56 AM

Hi Everyone,

Today I was at work and someone shouted really loudly my name and I thought they were in trouble and I ran down the ward only to find they weren't in trouble they just wanted some advice - afterwards my hands started to shake - they havn't done that for a while and I thought I was past that - but obviously not - strange thing is at the time I felt wired - ready for anything and after I found out it wasnt any trouble I was exhausted - I know that's the flight or fight thing kicking in - maybe that's why my hands shook... I don't know. But I feel very calm now, it's very strange... it's almost like I'm waiting for something to happen - ok now I really sound nuts!

I feel like there is a layer over the panic and despair that always seems to be lurking ready to come out - the slightest thing drops me right back in to the middle of it - it's always there I can feel it - it's like walking on eggshells - or waiting for the other shoe to drop..... there's a tension - it's hard to explain - does anyone else feel this way?

Phoenix · 05-03-2008, 04:25 AM

Hello MBC,

The nature of PTSD tends to be that once a person has it, the disorder can only be kept at bay, to varying degrees.

There is a layer between the panic and despair; I would like to think that therapy has provided that protective coatiing, so to speak.

The fact that you were able to bounce back with such resiliency is a good thing.

Take care.

Phoenix

maybecrazy · 05-04-2008, 02:56 AM

Hi Phoenix1,

I think you're right - therapy has provided the barrier between me and the panic and despair that is just out of view but always there, maybe with time it (the barrier ) will get stronger and the feelings that I fear will be so far away they can't hurt me anymore, I hope so. At this moment I am just trying to maintain hope that some day it will end - I am so tired - fighting takes a lot of energy but accepting is even harder.

I hope everyone is 'hanging in there' and things get better for everyone .

Take care

MBC

Phoenix · 05-06-2008, 04:59 AM

Hey MBC,

The more aware you are of your situation, the stronger, or more protective the barrier.

In one way or another, the fight is inevitable; mainly because life presents with it conflict and with conflict there will always be need for a modicum of resolve(at the very least).

Take care.

Phoenix

Phoenix · 05-17-2008, 05:46 AM

Hello MBC,

Haven't heard from you for a while.

How are you doing these days?

Take care.

Phoenix