PTSD advice? - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

FHL · 05-19-2008, 12:44 AM

HELP

My husband has PTSD.
In addition to that, he also has severe depression, TBI.
Took him to the doctors on Friday, now they tell me he has "Anger Explosive Disorder". They said that this did not surprise them because of what he went through over there (Iraq). They want me to bing him back on Wednesday 5-21 for more testing.
Right now I am so emotionally and physical drained, I don't know if I'm coming or going. It seems like this is all a big nightmare, when I wake up, everything will be okay and back to the way it was before he went over there. The last few weeks, he has been such a handful. It is taking its toll on me. It is hard when you have a husband (or anyone else) that depends on you for everything, raising kids, own health problems, and many other issues.
I feel like I am at this alone. My family does not live close by. He has some family that lives in the same town. Some of them will help out, when it is easy for them (at least it gives me a break, which I am thankful for).
Then he has some family members, that wants to tell you: You need to do this for him, well you shouldn't do that, But one thing for sure-they don't want to come and help me with him! Sometimes I just want to choke them!

Thanks for listening and allowing me to vent some.

Take Care

FHL

Phoenix · 05-19-2008, 06:30 AM

Hello FHL,

Please feel free to post here as often as you like.

Take care.

Phoenix

FHL · 05-19-2008, 07:39 PM

Phoenix,
Thank you and I will. I know I could/need some good advice and support.

Take Care,
FHL

maybecrazy · 05-21-2008, 03:42 AM

Hang in there FHL,

I'm hoping we are talking about the same thing when I mention - TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) there is always hope - there are ways of managing anger either with techniques or medication that may work - but often the carer is left behind and their needs are not met - is there a social worker at the Hospital? that can help you? often there are services out there that can help but people don't know about them. (Also there may be support goups that you can "buddy up" with someone or talk to a friend about what's happening)

Family members often focus only on the person who has had the trauma and forget that there is also a husband or a wife and children involved. Let them know what you are going through - it may help - ask them for help if you need it - they may be thinking that you don't need any help - whatever happens know that there is always support here for you even if it's just vent!

Take Care MBC

FHL · 05-21-2008, 07:23 PM

MBC,
Yes we are talking about the same thing -TBI. There is also a few social
workers that have been involved with his recovery. So far they have done what they could do and point me in the direction I needed to go. It is like with any case anymore, their hands are tied and they can only do so much.
Another problem is that we live like 2 1/2 hours one way from the nearest VA.
I have even thought about moving closer to it, but my husband didn't take to well on that idea.
I have talked to his family about what is going on and how I felt about it.
There is a couple of them that really understands. They try to do what they can, but they work and most weeks it is 60 plus hours and they have their own family to tend to. Then there is some that wants to judge you for every little thing and don't want to help out. Like today, I had to take him for a dr. appt. Got up early, got the kids up and was trying to get him ready so we could leave as soon as I got the kids on the bus. Got him to the drs and they did some more tests and gave me the test results from last week. They did find something wrong with his heart. Got to take him to the specialist next week. Anyway, I called a family member of his to let them know because they had asked when I found out anything to let them know. Next thing I knew they was going off on me because they said that I haven't done anything for him and I wasn't taking good care of him. I told them that if they could do a better job at it and by all means come on over and do it!
I know I do everything for him(I have even let my health go in order to take care of him). But this really made me mad

I hung the phone up. This probably made it worse, but oh well. Sorry just had to vent to.
Thank you for listening.

Take care
FHL