here we go again... - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

maybecrazy · 06-08-2008, 03:43 AM

so I'm at work and a patient gets aggressie and starts slamming his fists into a window (it doesn't break) and I deal with it and everything is fine and then I go home and take my anti-depressent that usually makes me sleep but every time I close my eyes I see - not the guy from today - but the guy who attacked me over a year and a half ago - why didn't I just see the guy from that day?

Whay do I have to keep going back to the incident that gave me PTSD - and why isn't it over!

I know it was a flashback - I just DON"T WANT to ahve them anymore, like that's going to stop them!

I don't think there are any answers - just needed to vent and I can't do that at the moment as my sister has left her abusive husband and has moved in with me - so I am watching my back from him as he has made threats before - probably won't do them but someone turned off my electricity from outside last night - and I just found out my nephew was sexually assaulted two days ago - so I guess my head is just swimming - and then the patient - it's all just a bit too much at the moment - anyway I hope everyone is well

Take Care

MBC

specialk12378 · 06-08-2008, 09:15 AM

Hi MBC,
I have had PTSD for about 2 years now. I hate it and would not wish it on anyone else because things just don't seem to ever go away! I wish I would never have any more flaskbacks myself too. I think that whenever things get going and the anxiety and tension climb, out brain fires back to whatever caused us the most harm in order for us to prevent going through it again.

I think it may have to deal with the old "Fight or Flight" instinct. I know that my mind and body never wants to "Fight" through another similar event and does whatever it can to make me evade, run away, "Flight" from situations that could be similar.

I wish I knew the answers like you, but realize that we may never really get to know them. Venting will at least help take the edge off.

Hope things get a little less dramatic for you,

Special K

maybecrazy · 06-08-2008, 11:42 PM

thanks specialk12378,

It's just so frustrating - you think you've moved past a point and then something snaps you right back to the beginning - I know I will get there - it just seems to be a journey that lasts forever.

MBC