weird one - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

diesel25 · 06-15-2008, 06:57 PM

well for the longest time i always knew that something wasnt quite right with me as far as being 30 years old and really never been able to hold on to a relationship with a woman (i am male) in either a dating or friend type situation.. i recently went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with ptsd and the reason he said that i have ptsd is because i was sexually abused by a brothers friend when i was young.. i think i might have been like 6 or 7... anyway i had put the past behind me and always heard about people that had been sexually abused and was one of the ones that said ahh crap it was a long time ago and it doesnt effect me.. well i guess subconciously it does effect me in a ptsd manner.. after being diagnosed, i read alot about the ptsd and one thing that hit me was the symptom of avoidance.. "avoidance symptoms affect relationships with others: The person often avoids close emotional ties with family, colleagues, and friends. At first, the person may feel numb, have diminished emotions, and may only complete routine, mechanical activities".. that is really what i am experiencing right now with older siblings, parents, and really close friends.. i dont like avoiding them but i would rather just really be alone more than anything but i know that is very unhealthy so i try and stay around people as much as i can.. i have a MAJOR trust issue with people also which causes paranoia because i am usually the type that "you are guilty until proven innocent" type so i watch over my friends closely... and of course ptsd can cause depression and anxiety which i am currently being treated for also.. i guess the question i have is has someone ever dealt with this very type of ptsd and since it was so long ago, how can something like this still effect me at age 30 and how do you work out such an issue?! i know the event happened but details, are waaay far away from my memory..

Roseabell9 · 06-15-2008, 07:59 PM

hi
i have'nt been diagnosed with any thing but i have a little know of how ur feeling.
as you saying ur weird yes you are and so is every body else in there own way! we all have a past and the past for some dam reason likes to make us who we are, unless we fight that part of use. mind over mind (not easy) reminds my of the girl in HEROS with the split personality.
the sex part you won't rember, we just put it in a box, padlock it with the minds best locks and throw it as far as we posably can into our own giant ocean, and thats were it flipping says!
i don't do well with people long term. i do fine short team, but then i find my self doing every thing to slowley push them away so i don't have many friends in the result of the way i am. its wird i get on with people really well at the start (if i chose to give them a chance to get to know each other) then i just want to go into my own little world, then i tell my self the reson why we stoped hanging out (keeping in touch) is not because they are buzy and have a flipping life, its cause of me, they don't like me and i don't trust them, cause there perttening to be nice. i have a partner for a year now but that is the longest relashinship i have pull though, most likey to the fact im now 30weeks preganat. how he is still in the picture i have know idea cause i have put him thou some emosional * . i know i do this, and i do try to stop my self. its a bit like im fighting with my self and another twin of my self to keep any type of relaionship alive.
i personaly think its just mind over mind. and having the luck that some people don't mind keeping a relaionship off and on type. or an insance partener. plus knowing ur problam and willing to do ur best to aviod it or fixing it the best you can.