janewhite1

I was once very close to someone whose father suffered from PTSD (Vietnam related.) He once told me, "Sometimes, when my daddy gets angry, he forgets things. Like that he loves me."

Life was very chaotic in that house. The father suffered violent rages from time to time, saying and doing deeply hurtful things. They never travelled, because he was convinced on an emotional level that if he strayed too far from the base, the Viet Cong would get him. The father also had occasional panic attacks, and periods of euphoria in which he would recklessly spend money the family didn't have.

Yet, at times, another man shone through his disease, one who loved his wife and children deeply and would do anything to protect them. A wise and insightful man, who'd learned from painful experience.

The effects on the children were profound. The son, in his twenties, had both low self-esteem and high expectations for himself. He'd decided not to follow in his father's footsteps, but had no other male role model to teach him how to be an adult. He reacted to problems or failure by panicking and imagining the worst possible outcome, rather than by seeking a solution.

What actions have you taken to overcome the effects of growing up with a troubled parent? Are you living on your own, have you sought counseling?