PTSD and self harm - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

maybecrazy · 09-15-2008, 06:50 PM

Is there anyone here with PTSD who has self harmed? I cut my arm a while ago after a flashback that seemed like it would never end - it happened more than once - I told my psychologist about it - (hid the marks) - it was a long time after it had happened - and after that initial month or so I havnt done it again - so that's a win - but I still get the feeling ...... it's hard to say... I am ashamed that I cut my arm because it's not a good way to cope - and I feel like that is another way I have failed and the guy that attacked me has won - but that's the past. (although sometimes it feels like the present and the future- but I won't let it be) My question is does the urge ever go away? I distract myself by doing things when the feeling comes on - but ... it still comes back when i'm upset.

I guess I'm looking for some re-assurance that there will be an end to this, I can fight but I don't know for how long, I guess, as long as it takes
MBC

VA_girl · 09-16-2008, 07:47 PM

I know I have been dealing with this for about 10 years. I don't "cut" myself, but deal with other issues similar. The desires have not gone away, sometimes they are "better" but I don't know if they ever go away.

VA_girl · 09-18-2008, 07:45 PM

Sorry, just being honest. But I havn't fully dealth with all my "stuff" and I've been in a mild depression since going through went I went through. But with the right attitude, lifestyle and support I do believe you can totally get over it, I just wanted to make the point that time itself will not necessarily heal this wound. But the fact that you're on here talking about it is a big step.

littlesadone · 09-18-2008, 08:34 PM

I deal with it and it has gotten better after years of counseling and working at it. I still have urges but haven't given in lately, but mine sounds a lot more severe than yours does..or that I'd been doing it a lot longer..the sooner you start fighting it the easier it will be to stop.....distracting yourself is a great technique.....so......keep it up..keep fighting, the longer you fight, the less the urges will get....if you could find someone to talk it through with and talk about whatevre is bothering you and the flashbacks that would be the best thing...good luck..you can do it...it CAN get better!!!

maybecrazy · 09-20-2008, 11:57 PM

thanks ladyitialian, I really do appreciate your honesty - I guess it's different for each of us - I hope you find something that helps permanently.

and thanks also to you littlesadone, well done

on not giving in lately - I found out one of my sisters that was abused also cut herself when no-one would believe her so maybe it's a genetic thing - I did it for about a monh - most days after I had started - when I told my psychologist I said I would never do it again and he looked at me as if to say - yep I've heard that before - so I am trying to prove him wrong - he didnt mean it in a bad way - and in a way it motivated me to stop - strange thing is that when I get upset even though there is just a scar there now - It feels like the wound is still open - yes I know that sounds crazy - sometimes I get close, but have managed to not go there - I did scratch my arm but I wasnt paying attention and as soon as I realised what I was doing I stopped it - I hope the road gets easier for all of us - take care MBC