Hi, I've been reading on another board, someone mentioned about the above. How common is it with ptsd? Maybecrazy, I'm hoping you can hep me out with this one! The feeling of 'losing ones sanity' is so overwhelming. So, at the risk of sounding even pottier than I have before...........
Does anyone see everyone else as robotic, as well as feeling robotic themselves? Seems I lived many years in this state, rarely actually living in the here and now. I've just robotically plodded along. (I can even feel myself 'drifting off' right now, just because of writing this). bizarre....
I have never felt robotic, but I have felt frozen. I don't like the words depersonalization and the others because that gives me a feeling of being psychotic. I may be at times but really don't want to go there. Anyway sometimes I feel completely frozen, like I want to move but can't. I do remember feeling this way when I was little but now I just get that feeling. I also feel like I am crushed in beteen a brick wall. I don't know if it's a brick wall or something from my past but I get physical pain, can't breathe like I'm suffocating and feel like if anyone asks me to do something, I will get smushed completely. Does that make sense? My therapist says it is a feeling I had during my childhood. I have chronic ptsd and she thinks I must have felt that way. She wants me to put more words to it because that will help it go away. I just can't find the words. Maybe you can find some words to describe exactly what it feels like to be robotic.
I have never felt robotic, but I have felt frozen. I don't like the words depersonalization and the others because that gives me a feeling of being psychotic. I may be at times but really don't want to go there. Anyway sometimes I feel completely frozen, like I want to move but can't. I do remember feeling this way when I was little but now I just get that feeling. I also feel like I am crushed in beteen a brick wall. I don't know if it's a brick wall or something from my past but I get physical pain, can't breathe like I'm suffocating and feel like if anyone asks me to do something, I will get smushed completely. Does that make sense? My therapist says it is a feeling I had during my childhood. I have chronic ptsd and she thinks I must have felt that way. She wants me to put more words to it because that will help it go away. I just can't find the words. Maybe you can find some words to describe exactly what it feels like to be robotic.
You know I've come to the stage where I don't care what label is applicable/put on me. 2 years ago I wouldn't have dared even mention how
I've been feeling and if talking about it reduces the feeling, then I'm all for that. I know I'm not psychotic, up to date anyway.
quote -
'Anyway sometimes I feel completely frozen, like I want to move but can't'.
Yes, I can relate there. I call it numb. I get accused of not listening. THe fact is, I don't hear as I should because I'm so disconnected. I feel I want to move/do something, but feel totally stuck, heavy feet. It took my child, aged about 6 at the time to get me to acknowledge that I have these phases. I apologised for 'not being here', (ie, I'm sometimes here physically, but not here mentally) to which he replied, 'you're always here, but never here.' That is so sad and I've explained it all to him and now I keep touching him to reinforce his presence and hopefully MY presence in this life, the here and now. The robotic thing - sounds so bizarre. I don't see people as people. They are all made up of body parts, all buzzing around, (like robots, ants), going about their business, crazy when you watch a football match and it happens! I feel an insignificant spec in the middle of the giant universe, totally useless. I felt I REALLY saw my daughter for the first time in years the other day. Like - where the hell have been all these years, my own planet obviously.
I think that enough madness talk for now.
I agree with you isitme, im sick of labels and i dont care about them anymore - ive been told i have ptsd, (ok can cope with that) depression (ok wasnt scared of that one) and the Borderline - borderline personality disorder (hated that one thought it meant i was crazy - oops too late! ) now i just try to say they are all parts of me - broken bits maybe but still me
I can relate to the "really seeing" bit I say that's when im awake - it's like you are walking around with the lights turned off in total darkness and then someone turns on the light and you can see - hmmm that does sound crazy! but it is what it is - and im awake - but unfortunately i go back to sleep - sleepwalking through life - i am hoping that as time goes on the awake moments will be more and the asleep ones will be less - i think it's just a survival mechanism. - it stops me from feeling - so yes its a kind of numbness - and i feel i am almost sitting in the back of my head directing my body - pressing the buttons for - fake smile when someone tells a joke, or making an appopriate answer someone asks how I am - FIne thanks (instead of hey just teeting on the brink of insanity - thanks for asking ha ha )
I read somewhere (junk magazine) that when you ask someone how they are and they say fine - it = Frazzled, Insecure, Neurotic and Everything in my life is screwed! that made me smile yeah i know i have a warped sense of humour - matches my mind! Take care MBC
I agree with you isitme, im sick of labels and i dont care about them anymore - ive been told i have ptsd, (ok can cope with that) depression (ok wasnt scared of that one) and the Borderline - borderline personality disorder (hated that one thought it meant i was crazy - oops too late! ) now i just try to say they are all parts of me - broken bits maybe but still me
What I'm fed up of is the INCORRECT labelling of me. Depressed, yes I was. But I'm not now. I know I have ptsd, yet 2 psychiatric nurses independently agreed on depression and anxiety. But I'm up for the fight now and thankfully at the third assessment, (CBT therapist) - she 'gets it', yet still in the beginning she labelled me as depressed, anxious, passive aggressive and low self esteem. The UK has a ridiculous way of doing things. After having a second opinion and not agreeing with it, it was up to ME as to what route I wanted to take, ie cbt person or psychiatrist. It's crazy
- it stops me from feeling - so yes its a kind of numbness - buttons for - fake smile when someone tells a joke, or making an appopriate answer someone asks how I am - FIne thanks (instead of hey just teeting on the brink of insanity - thanks for asking ha ha )
I agree, it's a coping mechanism. Yet, it is a useless mechanism, in that, nothing is achieved whilst in this state, either to do with the problem in hand or life in general. For instance, I can't drive when in this state, so it's debilitating me further. I think my brain has endured more than it is letting on to me. How is that for barmy.
I read somewhere (junk magazine) that when you ask someone how they are and they say fine - it = Frazzled, Insecure, Neurotic and Everything in my life is screwed! that made me smile yeah i know i have a warped sense of humour - matches my mind! Take care MBC
I guess all in all - I'm FINE too. I like your warped sense of humour. It matches mine
(I can even feel myself 'drifting off' right now, just because of writing this). 
) now i just try to say they are all parts of me - broken bits maybe but still me 
yeah i know i have a warped sense of humour - matches my mind! Take care MBC
Linear Mode
