vacation and scared! - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board

craftygirl3 · 12-17-2008, 03:55 PM

on the 21st thru the 28th me and my partner are going away to a hotel here in town for Christmas. that means we will be in the same bed, it is a king but still the same. we have gone away twice before for 1 night, and this last summer for my b-day for 2 nights. 7 nights eight days. a very nice hotel.
Problem is that we don't sleep together. the only time we have ever slept with each other in the 3 1/2 years were the 3 nights in the hotels. we live in a situation were we have separate sleeping and living areas. and it is great.

I sleep alone due to the nightmares and the kicking and fighting in my sleep. the last two times were okay. they weren't very long, and I wasn't working on all of this stuff and my sleep was more stable.

he is a light sleeper. he knows I may wake up screaming. as it has been happening more as of late.

I am worried. we both know what could happen how good it can be and how challenging this can be. I have been excited, now I am worried as the date gets closer.

cg3

writeleft · 12-17-2008, 05:55 PM

craftygirl,

I think you are wise to think this out ahead of time, and I would encourage you to share these concerns openly with your partner right away. It sounds like he is already well aware of your sleeping challenges, and has great understanding by now. With open communication going, this may be the perfect opportunity to overcome a bit more anxiety about sleeping together. Remember, this could also be a very meaningful holiday to share with your man, and bring you that much closer. I wish you well, and enjoy every minute.

You can always get a room with two queens, if you need your own space.

maybecrazy · 12-17-2008, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by writeleft

craftygirl,

You can always get a room with two queens, if you need your own space.

I was going to suggest two singles but two queens sounds a much better option then you can share if you feel safe to do so and can also go to your own bed if you need space

have a great holiday with your partner - they already know how you are at night so i am sure they will be understanding and supportive of your needs - you deserve to have a great time so have one MBC

p.s., does going to bed really really tired help with the nightmares? maybe after wearing yourself out having fun during the day?

captnanny · 12-18-2008, 02:01 AM

I agree that requesting two queens is a good idea and if they don't then it sounds like your partner understands very well how you feel and maybe you can talk about how to deal with the anxiety and how if there is a couch someone could sleep there for a while. I know that is probably real uncomfortable. One thing that might help is that you are having these flashbacks in your bed at home. You are going to a nice place that your body is not used to sleeping in. You may feel relaxed and have enough fun to enjoy a different setting.
I hope you have a good time.

craftygirl3 · 12-19-2008, 10:22 PM

I booked the hotel online on one of those name your own prices so we are locked into a king. went and saw the hotel today and the room, *very* nice! not allot of frills but still wonderful. I had my fits the last 2 days. someone bought us an extra night, so it goes from Sunday at 3pm to monday noon. 8 nights 9 days. I am actually looking forward to this, and I will bring my own pillow and a blanket(one of my favorite wubbies) and my auto pap, and my meds. I thinks he is going to keep me so busy with the pool, and games and just together time that it will be okay. and the hotel has internet so I won't be totally out of the loop. we spent most of the day today, together doing some next to last minute errands, and were great today. he is extremely supportive. the last couple of times he was the one scared. we both have problems with sleep, panic, PTSD, and other things. I want to spend the rest of my life with this man. we eventually are gonna have to get used to this. it is still really scary. I appreciate all of the support. thanks guys.