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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Message Board


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Old 07-20-2009, 07:13 PM   #1
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Peaches09 HB User
It rains, it pours ...

That is the story of my life lately. To be honest, I have yet to start my medications (2) ... For one reason, I think I may only need the Celexa. But, I am afraid to really start it because it causes weight gain. The Risperdal, which they are using to treat symptoms of the C-PTSD, which also can result in weight gain, just seems like its a little too strong for me. But, when it comes down to it, I have my good and bad days. Some days I feel like I really should start it, others I feel like I don't need them.

Also, I have not seen my Therapist in a few weeks or so due to funds. I also missed my Psychiatrist appointment (which was just to check on the meds; he knows I hadn't started them yet; I was waiting on the prescription assistance program anyways at that time) ... I want to go so bad. I NEED to see him. I miss him. How crazy is that? I NEED to go but priorities (bills, etc) come first. Either way, I've had a lot of stressful moments where A LOT of other thoughts were racing through my mind. I don't know how much more stress I can put on my plate at this moment. I really cannot take 1 more thing, or I'm afraid I am going to burst. Also, I did cut/scrape bad in my usual place (upper right thigh) because hubby & I got into a huge fight ... over self-medicating myself with alcohol, etc. (which is normally unlike me on good days because I am not a drinker) So, I got angry and he wouldn't give in, and I locked myself in the bathroom. But, I slept the entire day the following day and was fine days thereafter.

Here is the ordeal at the moment, which made me feel like I needed to write. I also think I saw someone else mention something to this nature awhile back as well. Anyways, there has been an unbelievable amount of stress the past week and a half. More than I EVER thought I could possibly handle. I finally had a breakdown tonight crying, which resulted in an anxiety attack. But, several days prior to tonight, I have laughed at everything instead of cried. I would just sit there, stare into space, and laugh at everything going on when it is not remotely funny at all. What is wrong with me? I feel like I am going crazy!!

I apologize for the lengthy post. I guess I just need someone to talk to, or at least some place to vent ... in "private". I am scared, frustrated, sad, depressed, angry, and stressed more than 10 people could handle.
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Last edited by Peaches09; 07-20-2009 at 07:15 PM.

 
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Old 07-22-2009, 03:50 AM   #2
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Join Date: Mar 2009
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Hemels HB User
Re: It rains, it pours ...

Hi Peaches09,

Sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment hun, sorry to hear you ain't too good. I know it is hard to not have a massive fight with your partner/ husband for self medicating (cause believe me i've done it too) but it really isn't the best step, and they are really only trying to help. Although i see why you got upset with him.

I used to self medicate with the drink, didn't admit it till i went to see my pdoc a few weeks back and she said "Do you ever drink to ease your pain?" God i felt so comfortable with her i just told her all about it. She advised me to take my meds, at first i was very very weary and wouldnt even entertain them but after a long conversation with my partner we both agree'd that i would try and see how i went. I've been on them 4 weeks now and i haven't felt the need for 1 drink.

Perhaps just try them a little while and see how you go first, if you don't like them you can always stop taking them

Hope you are feeling better soon hun ((hugs if you want them))
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-------------------------------
Borderline Personaility Disorder with Complex PTSD.
Meds
- Citalopram - 20mg
- Seroquel - 100mg
-------------------------------

 
Old 07-27-2009, 05:40 PM   #3
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maybecrazy HB User
Re: It rains, it pours ...

yes Peaches 09 I have laughed like that.... it is scary because you feel you are losing your mind....

can you make an appt wiht you pdoc? it realy feels like you need to see him and get some help.

As hemels said - maybe try the meds and see how you go? or explain to pdoc you're reason for not taking and see if there is an alternative?

either way - take care MBC
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