Re: children of people with severe ptsd
Yes, if the PTSD is not treated then the emotional problems get dumped on the kids and they grow up with major emotional problems too.
PTSD did not even exist as a diagnosis until about 15 years ago and even today, the military wants "proof" that is a real disorder and not just someone trying to get free benefits for life. But a group in Minnesota may have found the proof that the VA wants....changes on a test that measures magnetic changes in the brain as opposed to the regular EEG that measures electrical changes. They had a 90% positive diagnosis rate...higher than most tests so tests may be on the way to prove it. It's not inherited but experiential....you get it from being in a very traumatic situation but it does cause changes in the brain.
But as for your ex, he was probably brought up by a father bursting with uncontrollable anger most of the time, anger that lashed out at everyone and anyone. He probably couldn't love very well either. People with PTSD can dissociate and seem to be day dreaming a good deal of time as they re-live the horrors they went through so they are very distant.
I know all of this because I have severe PTSD as a result of abuse and stayed in therapy while raising my kids. I tried my hardest to not affect them but I know I made mistakes and to this day, apologize. They are both doing well and one is married with an almost 3 year old little girl. He is a great dad. My daughter has yet to marry and I don't know of she every will. I think I made my biggest mistakes with her(my first) and I so regret it but I did my best. I try to get her to go to therapy but she won't. But both kids are responsible and well respected.
If there is one reason to get help it's to not hurt your kid. As for the kids, they should recognize their parent's failings and get help themselves. The emotional abuse is not intentional so there shouldn't be any blame but each of us has a responsibility to fix our selves.The person we lie to the most is our selves. If we stop lying, then we can acknowledge the truth and get help.
Sorry you were hurt by this disorder.