blame is totally useless.
we blame our parents, but they are no more or less responsible for themselves than we are. we blame ourselves but it is impossible for us to know where choice begins and circumstance ends.
i had a chaotic, violent and abusive childhood. i have driven myself crazy placing blame, feeling angry, wishing for different, and trying to figure it out.
i don't know if there are any answers, but in my experience blame only confounds what is already confusing.
=== in lieu of self-mastery, i will accept self-love ===