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Old 12-11-2010, 11:30 AM   #1
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PTSD Memory Blocks

Hi, I had some mental health challenges this past spring. I had two hospitalization that were subsequent to the police department visiting me many times. I have been told I was disturbing neighbors with noise during the night and shoutting. I was remember very violent things and when the police arrived each time, I would not talk to them because I was afraid of their guns. I have memory blocks about when the police would visit, and I am little by little remembering things from when I was psychotic before my hospitalizations. For example, I am remembering some of the police officers laughing at me when I would not speak with them. I remember an officer shouting at me to snap out of it and answer him. It is not really clear to me why the police didn't recognize that I was ill enough to go to the hospital. This went on for weeks until I became a suicidal emergency because of flashbacks I was having at the time. I had stopped taking my medication but don't remember why.

I am wondering if anybody has ever had the experience of blocking out things and cannot remember. I want to remember what I can't in regard to these mental blocks. My therapist told me that having the police visit several times was probably so stressful for me that I may never remember it fully.

At times I have flashes of police officers during waking hours. My memories usually occur at night before I fall asleep.

How can I either remember the events preceeding my hospitalization, or block it out so that I am not disturbed during waking hours?

Any help would be appreciated.

 
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Old 01-16-2011, 12:51 PM   #2
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Re: PTSD Memory Blocks

It's your mind's way of coping. I have it too. I have blacked out practically my whole life. You must seek therapy for the PTSD. You have no idea how powerful this disorder is. It can manifest in many ways. I have had the same run-in with the Police as well. And those themselves caused more "attacks". Yeah, medication is all well and good, but - therapy will help set you free and increase your understanding of why your brain is doing this. It's protecting you, and it did work for you during child years, but in Adulthood it is just the reverse. Please seek out professionals. Hospitals are starting treatment programs, it's becoming more popular, so hope is there. I'm on the same road, and *truly* feel for you. We need to understand out past to set goals for our future. Remember, you are not alone - The Universe *wants* you to win! This is one of the trials it has given you, do it girl! I promise I'll try hard too!
Love and Prayers,
The Mad Katter
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Sincerely Yours,

The Mad Katter

 
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