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Old 03-05-2012, 03:40 PM   #1
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Newbie here too

I was told by another member to visit this forum, so for the past week have been browsing in here. Doesnt seem to be very many posting here, which made me sad. Since Ive become a member and have been posting in another forum, I have found that I truly have had better feelings about my problems. Reading what others are posting, what they are going through, and how much alike in many ways we are helps alot. Even if it is for a few minutes, that my mind is thinking about someone else, instead of ME ME ME is wonderful. Makes me realize just how insignificant I am, and that I am not the only person in the world who has these problems. Yes, I have PTSD, but it doesnt define who I am.

It is like having my own little place to talk about my problems without criticism. Thanks to all who respond, and are a part of this forum.

 
Old 03-06-2012, 06:27 AM   #2
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Re: Newbie here too

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
I was told by another member to visit this forum, so for the past week have been browsing in here. Doesnt seem to be very many posting here, which made me sad. Since Ive become a member and have been posting in another forum, I have found that I truly have had better feelings about my problems. Reading what others are posting, what they are going through, and how much alike in many ways we are helps alot. Even if it is for a few minutes, that my mind is thinking about someone else, instead of ME ME ME is wonderful. Makes me realize just how insignificant I am, and that I am not the only person in the world who has these problems. Yes, I have PTSD, but it doesnt define who I am.

It is like having my own little place to talk about my problems without criticism. Thanks to all who respond, and are a part of this forum.
Hello Arianna2,

So we meet again

Believe you me,there are a lot of members here that prefer to read than post,which I fully respect.

Dealing with the disorder can be trying enough but explaining it isn't always the easiest thing to do.

You're not insignificant;never sell yourself short.You are here and by gosh I want you to know that you matter...we all do.
Once again welcome and if there is anything that you'd like to discuss,please feel free to do so.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Phoenix; 03-06-2012 at 06:28 AM.

 
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Old 03-06-2012, 08:38 AM   #3
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Re: Newbie here too

Ha Ha Phoenix, I didnt want to mention names when I posted that *someone* told me to visit this forum. But I guess it doesnt matter, since we are all anonymous anyway.

I guess if most read than post on this forum, I dont know what to post about.

Anyway, hyperviligance... even though that word is part of my life, Ive been able to escape from it each night. Because of my past, my PTSD is two-fold. I am afraid of not sleeping, but am afraid to fall asleep. For 3 yrs, I slept every 3-4 days and I would just crash, then waken with a startle about an hour later. My mind was in a fog and truly understood why they used sleep deprivation for torture in long ago wars. The final straw was 17 days of no sleep. Of course by then I was hospitalized and my doc tried everything to get my body to shut down. After many different medications and therapies, he finally got me to sleep. This was in 1999. I cannot be in a postition of thinking about sleeping or not sleeping, so each night I take meds that put me to sleep. I dont have time to lay there and dwell on it, I am asleep within a few minutes. So, my hypervigilance has been put in a box, and put on a shelf. When it pops up in my mind, I self talk, reassuring myself that I will be ok. The meds will work tonight, the same as days gone by.

I cant imagine trying to tell this to someone in real life. But then, Ive isolated myself from people. I have one friend, and I have shared a bit of myself with her, but can tell by her comments, she has no clue. She is one of those "Oh come on, get over it, be strong" Sigh!

BTW.. Phoenix, how do you get that quote on the bottom of your page? Is that called a signature?

 
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Old 03-06-2012, 02:15 PM   #4
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Re: Newbie here too

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Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
Ha Ha Phoenix, I didnt want to mention names when I posted that *someone* told me to visit this forum. But I guess it doesnt matter, since we are all anonymous anyway.
Anyway, hyperviligance...

BTW.. Phoenix, how do you get that quote on the bottom of your page? Is that called a signature?
Hello Arianna2,

I'm around and about;sometimes more than others.

Now the subject of hypervigilance;that uneasiness that won't seem to go away.No one quite understands...it's one of those things that you have to experience to appreciate its' affect.
I often tell my therapist that once my hypervigilance subsides,i'll probably be an extremely successful individual.For now i'm trying to learn to live with it,to varying degrees.
-----------------------
You are correct;the signature is displayed on the very bottom.

Keep on posting.

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Old 03-06-2012, 03:09 PM   #5
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Re: Newbie here too

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Originally Posted by Phoenix View Post
Hello Arianna2,

I often tell my therapist that once my hypervigilance subsides,i'll probably be an extremely successful individual Phoenix
Ugh... what defines success? How much money you make? How far up the corporate ladder you reach? How many *things* you accumulate in life? I beg to differ. Ive read some of your posts and to me success means: caring and being compassionate, kindhearted and sympathetic. These are what defines success. At least to me.

PS: I hate to spell incorrectly so when you see me type hyperviligance, I am really meaning hypervigilance

 
Old 03-06-2012, 03:43 PM   #6
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Re: Newbie here too

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
Ugh... what defines success? How much money you make? How far up the corporate ladder you reach? How many *things* you accumulate in life? I beg to differ. Ive read some of your posts and to me success means: caring and being compassionate, kindhearted and sympathetic. These are what defines success. At least to me.

PS: I hate to spell incorrectly so when you see me type hyperviligance, I am really meaning hypervigilance
I should've stated the hyper and pain together.

To me,success is moving forward,constantly.

It seems lately that I take one step forward,take two steps back and then am stuck;until I repeat the cycle over.
My situation has provided me with a bad disposition.I still am a sensitive individual but am easily angered and agitated....for the record,I detest it so.

Respectfully
Phoenix

Your words are kind and appreciated
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Old 03-06-2012, 04:05 PM   #7
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Re: Newbie here too

I know, the wonderful duo, vigilance and pain. I know that place. It is deep dark and ugly. I guess it is a good thing we dont wallow down there ALL the time. And yes, maybe you do get agitated alot, more than you want. BUT!! you still find the time to encourage someone else on here so that counts for alot. I will exchange your agitation for my pity party any day. And I detest that too. It makes me feel weak, and a big baby. I say to myself.. "what makes me so special that I should go through life without problems?"

OH! I forgot, when I get really bad, and anxious and upset about it all, usually towards bedtime.. I stop and as loud as conditions allow I yell outloud "STOP" For some reason it seems to help me stop the cascading emotions that were sure to begin. I am sure you know that one. The roller coaster...mine is: IF I dont sleep, I will have a panic attack, IF i have a panic attack I wont be able to get up for work, IF i cant work, I wont have money, IF i dont have money I could lose my house, etc etc etc etc...

Just rereading what I typed made me laugh. I can be so.... I cant even think of the right word.. DORK comes to mind

 
Old 03-06-2012, 04:17 PM   #8
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Re: Newbie here too

I see we're on the same page here(literally and metaphorically).

I've been told to embrace it all,for it makes me who I am.I try to but it's so friggin' uncomfortable that I end up running for the rafters.
Being easily overwhelmed makes me feel extremely vulnerable and when I feel vulnerable I tend to further distance myself and when I further distance myself......
I could go on and on.

In the words of the great Charlie Brown: "Aargh!!!!!!!"

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Old 03-06-2012, 04:44 PM   #9
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Re: Newbie here too

Easier said than done.. Embrace it all. Wow, sure would love to meet that person. No spiders in his/her attic. Then maybe that person has learned to not be afraid of spiders.

I see you have a roller coaster too!! Sigh

 
Old 03-06-2012, 04:52 PM   #10
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Re: Newbie here too

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Originally Posted by Arianna2 View Post
Easier said than done.. Embrace it all. Wow, sure would love to meet that person. No spiders in his/her attic. Then maybe that person has learned to not be afraid of spiders.

I see you have a roller coaster too!! Sigh
The person who offered me the advice is extremely wise;it's just rather difficult to filter even the best of intentions when going through what we are/have.
I've gotten to know this person well enough to know it was directed towards helping............
I am Persistently Tired and Supremely Destructive(PTSD).
See where my mind takes me at times?

We are amongst the true survivors(all of those with illnesses or disorders that are struggling).

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Phoenix; 03-06-2012 at 05:02 PM.

 
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