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Old 02-24-2013, 06:48 AM   #16
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Hello Cambridge8 and welcome.

I no longer doubt myself,yet still appear hesitant at times.

It's all new,along with the fact that I no longer question:"why me?"
The new mantra is: "why not me?"

I'm still feeling my way around but one thing's certain and it's that i'm beginning to gain my footing;slowly but steadily.

Thank you.

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Old 03-26-2013, 03:01 AM   #17
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Hey Ryan, I'm new here and we don't know each other but I figured another voice couldn't hurt... so:

You are not alone with this and you don't have to hide. In fact it means a lot to me that you have had the courage to post here about your feelings. This is the kind of thing that saves my life every day and I don't know what I would do without it.

Thank you so much.

Kayla

 
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Old 03-26-2013, 10:39 AM   #18
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

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Originally Posted by kaylalala View Post
Hey Ryan, I'm new here and we don't know each other but I figured another voice couldn't hurt... so:

You are not alone with this and you don't have to hide. In fact it means a lot to me that you have had the courage to post here about your feelings. This is the kind of thing that saves my life every day and I don't know what I would do without it.

Thank you so much.

Kayla
Hello Kayla and welcome.

Your post speaks volumes to me.
Thank you for calling it courage but I tend to view things as either being a necessity or not,for me to get from point A to B.

There are times I have to sit back and analyze my situation,regroup and generate motion...........this is one of those times.

You have it in you to share;I can sense it in you.

Please remember that even baby steps denote forward movement.

Welcome again.

Respectfully stated,

R
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Old 04-03-2013, 04:49 PM   #19
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

How are you doing Ryan?

Best,
Kayla

 
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Old 04-03-2013, 05:33 PM   #20
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Hiya Phoenix

Just an old friend here wanting to address you on this post.

Phoenix, since ever we met, you have been standing on your head hoping others know your true sincerity ( which we certainly do!). I have never seen anyone try as hard as you to be of help to others.

What I DON'T see is a man trying hard to love himself unconditionally. You have, along the way in your life, been handed some overfull plates of garbage. You have had some things done to you, seen some horrible grief filling things and been handed a bunch of physical pain. In my very unprofessional, but very caring, way, I want to remind you that you were so not at fault for so many things but seem to hold them in you like pains that you deserve. I think there were circumstances that made you feel like "less' and that you have accepted that to a degree. No. No. No. These burdens that came about because of others must stop being burdens to your soul.

From my heart of hearts I am saying gently to you to stop looking for others to make you feel worthwhile. Yes, many of us appreciate you for your reaching out and kindness. Of course we do. But do you ever reach out and give yourself some of that kindness? Not that I have seen, Buddy. You tried to hide from some of the tragedy in your life in unhealthy ways, but in your own strength and character you stopped the unhealthy coping and pulled yourself up by your bootstraps. However, while the unhealthy coping has ceased, you continue to beat Phoenix up routinely.

Pull yourself up tall, my friend, and accept the past as just that... the past. Accept that you did not cause many of the things that haunt you, but were the recipient. Grieve for the things that hurt you so. Perhaps the greatest lesson I learned in my own mental and spiritual agony was that I had never grieved for the things I had lost. Not just loved ones, either. I had to grieve for lost body parts, grieve because I had been so very ill, grieve for time lost. I needed professional help to understand that I could grieve for myself. I didn't even know how to grieve, but I learned and then, boy did I grieve. Then I learned to assess and acknowledge to myself the many good qualities about me. Like you, I often was a people pleaser in order to feel okay about myself. I still have a yearning to help others, but now also have a satisfaction with myself just because I am me.

I so want you to feel true happiness and joy in living. I really do. And it must start when you acknowledge your own worth just because you are Phoenix. Grieve for all the hurt... face it head on , grieve it, and never let it control you again. Learn to truly love yourself and experience joy in life.

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Old 04-04-2013, 02:09 AM   #21
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

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Originally Posted by kaylalala View Post
How are you doing Ryan?

Best,
Kayla
Kaylalala,

I'm hanging in(there)presently and holding on(for dear life) at times.

All in all,i'm alright.

Thanks for your concern;truly. It is appreciated.

Sincere Respect
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Old 04-04-2013, 02:21 AM   #22
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Reach,

You're right,on so many levels.

Maybe i'm too close to my situations,that i can't view them objectively at times.

What is this liquid that streams from my eyes while reading your post?..........

Had to lighten the mood for a moment.

Sometimes I try so hard at succeeding,that when I actually do,it doesn't register and I proceed even further.

I know this and don't like the character flaw but it is part of who I am,foe now.

We're all works in progress,right?

Thanks for "reaching out."

Sincere Truth
Phoenix
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Old 04-04-2013, 03:13 AM   #23
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

You are also the cause of your sufferings. Don't stress yourself trying to impress anybody else because at the end of the day, it is only you who will always be there for yourself.

 
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Old 04-04-2013, 06:02 AM   #24
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

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Originally Posted by Trish0102 View Post
You are also the cause of your sufferings. Don't stress yourself trying to impress anybody else because at the end of the day, it is only you who will always be there for yourself.
Thank you Trish0102.

I do agree that I tend to bring things upon myself.

At the end of the day,as the beginning, I have The Lord with me and if I keep this in its proper perspective,i'll be alright.


Respectfully
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Old 04-04-2013, 03:08 PM   #25
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Keep holding on for dear life. You're a great person.

Kayla

 
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Old 04-05-2013, 05:37 AM   #26
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

i dont have any words of wisdom, but wanted to let you know you arent the only one hiding. i've been hiding from the world since 1981. probably not what anyone wants to hear. since my kidnapping, i never got married or had kids. my whole family is dead so i am completely alone. and mostly i like being alone, but i feel as if my whole life was a complete waste of time. 32 years and i'm still a mess.
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:03 AM   #27
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Thank you cetiya;honestly.

You are to be admired.

Please keep posting;if you're up to it.

Most Respectfully Stated
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Old 04-05-2013, 08:40 AM   #28
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

I'm not trying to be funny here but I can't imagine how anything I have done to deserve any admiration. I'm the poster child on what not to do! I just feel as if the "man" who kidnapped me murdered my soul but the body is still alive.
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:35 PM   #29
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

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Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
I'm not trying to be funny here but I can't imagine how anything I have done to deserve any admiration. I'm the poster child on what not to do! I just feel as if the "man" who kidnapped me murdered my soul but the body is still alive.
Cetiya,

What I see is a person who has had her share and then some and despite this,still finds the strength to keep on.

I can relate to this on many levels.

Please don't sell yourself short.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:43 PM   #30
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Re: I'm Tired Of Hiding

Thank you. That means a lot to me.
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