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Old 05-10-2013, 08:40 PM   #1
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Triggers... kidnapping on the news

this national news about the three girls who were kidnapped has triggered a lot of trauma for me. i'm glad they were finally found, and i guess i should be grateful i was only kidnapped for 11 months instead of 10 years.
i actually kinda yelled at some co workers in the employee lounge tonight. they were talking about the kidnapping and i was sorta ok with that but then they started talking about children being tortured and i finally couldnt take it, and asked them to stop talking about this right now. they didnt know what happened to me, i just said i was kidnapped as well and i just couldnt listen to any more. sigh.
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Old 05-10-2013, 11:29 PM   #2
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

Hello, I'm in no way a expert on this horrible subject, just want you to know I'm thinking of you..

 
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Old 05-11-2013, 12:30 AM   #3
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

Im no expert either, Just wanted you to know am thinking of you too. Its hard for those have triggers which are hard to avoid. I have Panic Disorder, GAD, Depression and goodness knows what else so I can identify with those triggers. All I can really suggest is speaking with a proffessional about how you're feeling. If you cannot afford one, perhaprs try to write down how you're feeling, how that person made you feel and the fears you're experiencing. The most important thing to remember is that you're safe and no one is going to hurt you. Just remember youre safe. I find it hard to understand people who do such a thing and my heart and soul go out to you. You yelling at your co worker - its such a natural reaction when you're hearing something you don't want to hear. Sending you lots of hugs, you're safe and no one will ever hurt you like that again. xx

 
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Old 05-11-2013, 01:59 AM   #4
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

i've seen a million shrinks since this happened, (1980-1981) in fact, monday will be another issue for me, since i escaped may 13 1981 at 4pm. this date is more important than my birthday or any other holiday. i'm afraid a doctor cannot help me, a lobotomy would though! if i could only make the memories and images in my brain go away for good, i might be ok. i have isolated myself from the world, in order to keep myself safe. pitiful life. never got married, no children, thats what isolation has done to me. i was forced to watch three small children tormented and tortured, thats why i couldnt listen to another word in the lounge. sigh again..
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:54 AM   #5
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

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Originally Posted by cetiya View Post
i've seen a million shrinks since this happened, (1980-1981) in fact, monday will be another issue for me, since i escaped may 13 1981 at 4pm. this date is more important than my birthday or any other holiday. i'm afraid a doctor cannot help me, a lobotomy would though! if i could only make the memories and images in my brain go away for good, i might be ok. i have isolated myself from the world, in order to keep myself safe. pitiful life. never got married, no children, thats what isolation has done to me. i was forced to watch three small children tormented and tortured, thats why i couldnt listen to another word in the lounge. sigh again..
I can't even imagine! I hope the person/people responsible for hurting you and the children are in jail for the rest of their useless lives. It sickens me that people would do that to other people. We're you a child? Please try not to let them continue to control your happiness. They are still winning if you can't be even a little happy because of what they did to you. I hope I didn't give the wrong advice. I'm thinking of you!

 
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:14 AM   #6
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

I was 21. He was already on the run from the authorities and by the time I felt safe enough to notify the police and child abuse investigators, he was long gone. Of couse I had to move out of the state cos I knew he was looking for me when I escaped.I just closed my eyes, put my finger on a map and moved with help from my parents. I was only home for 24 hours then just disappeared.
Wow, I haven't talked about this in a long time. Ahhh good old PTSD. An old friend that never goes away.
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:39 AM   #7
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

You are very, very strong & I'm sure you did what you could to help the young kids you said we're there. It's everyone's worst nightmare & you survived and were strong enough to get yourself out of there! Then you moved to a unfamiliar place by yourself and made a life. You should be so proud! You deserve more than you're letting yourself have. Is the monster in jail, where he belongs?
Wow! What a heartbreaking story! I'm so sorry you had to endure that at such a young age. I wish you could take small steps and let yourself feel again & hopefully, find love & have a family. I'm sure you've learned about all of that in therapy & it'd easy for me to say. I'm sorry, I have no idea what to say. Haha!! Just want you to know I care.

 
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Old 05-11-2013, 01:32 PM   #8
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

Sometimes the news on TV is so traumatic and disturbing even for people who haven't been in your situation! I just have to turn the news off sometimes to protect myself from getting all upset over how many sick people there are that do horrible things to others. You have every right to speak up and ask for discussions that are distressing to be stopped, or excuse yourself from the room. Getting past a trauma like you have experienced is long hard work. I hope you can break down the barriers you have around you in time, so that you can experience the true joy life can offer. It's about taking little risks, one step at a time, to let yourself feel connected to someone with whom you feel safe. I would plan something fun, distracting, and special to help you get thru your anniversary day. Your captor should not be allowed to steal any more of your days with painful, bad memories of what you endured. You were strong then, and you are strong now, and deserve love and happiness without reliving the trauma over and over.

 
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:55 PM   #9
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

thanks for all the caring and kind words. it helps, i dont talk about it with people and mostly i dont talk about it with people i've known for years, like my bff. most people dont understand why i'm still messed up after all these years. they are sick of it.
i've been crying a lot these past couple of days. i cant really tell anyone. the only people in my life daily is work friends and most of them dont know what happened.
i've been listening to all the news, a bunch of other kidnapped victims have been speaking up. they all say the same thing: people judge them for not escaping when they had a chance. that kind of talk makes me so mad and crazy. i was told over and over again that i would be dead within 24 hours if i ever left him. i had times when i could have escaped but he brainwashed me about everyone i ever knew and told me my parents phone was tapped, the police were after me, and other people as well. none of it was true but i didnt know that and was too terrified to try to escape. my last day there was such hell, i got beat up for brushing my teeth, then he beat up his wife for saying i could brush my teeth, then she threatened me that she was going to start hitting me too, she hated me, when they left to take her to work, the last thing he said to me was that there was a gun in the closet, i should take it and shoot myself with it. ( how i wish i had taken it and shot him with it)
there was one good thing that came of this. after going to fargo north dakota, i ended up in iowa and met some people that were such good friends, and became friends with some bikers so i knew i was safe. i met a man who notified the child abuse investagators for me and we are still best friends today. if i had never been kidnapped, i would never have met frenchie. but.....i wonder what my life would have been like if i had never been kidnapped. would i have lived a more normal life? would i have a family of my own? i guess it doesnt matter anymore. its too late for me to have a normal life now.
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:04 AM   #10
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

I think you would find healing and comfort in sharing your story with others that you trust. Carrying around dark secrets and traumas for years will keep you trapped. Sharing them is a way of releasing the pain, anger, hurt, mistrust and making room for better feelings to fill in the voids. It is never too late to heal, and this news is the perfect opportunity to use it as a stepping stone to let these painful memories out and let them go. Those you trust will understand and help you heal if you let them.

 
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:17 PM   #11
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

Cetiya, it's never, ever too late to find happiness and love! You're still young, very early fifties? Put yourself out there. Maybe you could try to contact some other kidnap survivors, nobody better to talk to than someone that has walked in your shoes.
I'm thinking of you and hoping you find some happiness

 
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Old 05-13-2013, 06:29 PM   #12
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

I have always felt this man destroyed my soul. I'll forever be damaged. I was going to write a book and have a hundred pages written but I've always had such memory issues I couldn't write it. I tried to be hypnotized but my subconscious mind would not cooperate!
Too bad. It would have been a good book.
I feel as if he killed me, I just haven't died yet.
Thank you for your concerns! And advice.
32 years today, I was having the worst day of my life and the best day of my life.
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Last edited by cetiya; 05-13-2013 at 06:37 PM.

 
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Old 05-14-2013, 02:04 AM   #13
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

Some work with a therapist on taking your power back would be good. This man is still controlling your life, all these years later. You are safe now and in control of your future. Please don't continue to be held captive by him! You escaped physically, now you must escape mentally, and let go his psychological hold on you. Think of all the good things you could do if you didn't have these psychological chains binding you still. Your soul is intact=it is just still in captivity and needs to be freed. If you believe in God, you can try praying to have these memories lifted from you. Turn them over to God to deal with so you don't have to carry this burden any longer.

 
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Old 09-04-2013, 11:13 PM   #14
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Re: Triggers.. kidnapping on the news

thank god this " man" is dead. i did a happy dance and i guarantee the three girls did too. i only wish i knew if the person who kidnapped me was dead. i hope they are both in hell where they belong.
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