| | I think I have PTSD - loss to suicide
I lost a loved one about 4 months ago and it's been hell on me. All the raw emotions and crying have seemed to pass and I do feel better in that regard. The problem I am having now is that I feel as though a truck has run me over. Physically and mentally I am totally worn out. I cannot handle much in the way of loud noise, screaming fighting kids (which I have a lot of), stress of any kind. I have a full schedule with games etc and any small thing is just to much for me to handle. Breaking my schedule or routine is too much. I have always had a hard time sleeping but this is crazy. I feel like I need about three weeks alone on a deserted island with servants caring for me.. It takes it all out of me to make dinner etc.
I have my primary care doc who already thinks I am hypersensitive so to go to him and ask for help with him knowing why I needed it would brand me even more neurotic. I take benedryl to sleep but I am so worn out.... I just need sleep. Is this part of the process? I feel like a failure as I am a dead weight lately. I get my work done here at home but barely... it's very hard. There is no escape from the family right now - no help from the outside it does not exist. When I do try and sleep in the day I can't lie still.. too much to do... Feeling overwhelmed.