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Old 06-27-2013, 07:11 AM   #1
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sessie HB User
Hate this time of year

Does anyone else get tired of the fact that PTSD, as well as we manage it, never goes away? I am tired of that. I am tired of feeling like I'm losing my mind this time of year. Most of my triggers are tamed and under control, but next week is the 16th anniversary of the apartment fire where I almost died. And I just hate that I have 2-3 wks of spiraling anxiety...I actually feel like I'm losing my mind. I am so on edge, so emotionally fragile, so unable to cope with normal things in life (like moldy bread this morning). I'm taking Ativan right now. (I don't take it year round.)

And every year, I worry that this time, I've truly gone crazy and feeling this horrible will never go away.

Four years ago, I moved back to the same state that I lived in when the fire occurred. The anniversaries are worse. My therapist said that's because my animal brain recognizes the smell of the air, the angle of the sun, the humidity, and all those little things become danger warnings.

I'm just so tired of it.

I've done therapy (at least two long runs of it) and EMDR. I feel mostly under control. Except for times like this. And I hate feel WEAK and I feel like it is STUPID to give something that happened so long ago this kind of power over me.

And I know it's ridiculous to feel that way, because I can't help this. But. I also hope that someone here will understand and just empathize.

Okay. Thanks.

 
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Old 06-28-2013, 01:32 PM   #2
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Re: Hate this time of year

There are definitely times of the year that are worse than others. I can't imagine moving back to the state where the trauma happened. I don't even like seeing license plates from that state.

You're not alone.

 
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Old 06-28-2013, 01:36 PM   #3
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Re: Hate this time of year

double post

Last edited by student4ever; 06-28-2013 at 01:38 PM.

 
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Old 07-05-2013, 07:09 AM   #4
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Paininohio HB UserPaininohio HB UserPaininohio HB UserPaininohio HB UserPaininohio HB UserPaininohio HB UserPaininohio HB User
Re: Hate this time of year

I normally don't post on this board, but there is a medication that might help, its called "Buspar", its an anti-anxiety med that it taken regularly, and its not a controlled substance, its not a benzo, and its not an anti-depressant. My husband takes it and his anxiety has improved greatly. He still needs his ativan on occasion, but this definitely helps. Maybe something to talk to your doctor about? Good luck to you.

Last edited by Paininohio; 07-05-2013 at 07:10 AM.

 
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