Hope2Heal

HI

Your daughter is grieving, though often that can lead to depression. She is lucky to have you to help her out.

I have just lost my firstborn son at 36 weeks. He died at birth. That was almost a month ago and I am terrilby upset and devastated still. I cry everyday. Hormones do play a role as well.

I understand that a lot of women do not put a proper closure on their childs death in the case of a miscarriage. Since there was no baby to hold and many people may not even have known she was pregnant, she may have been feeling all alone with this. What she is going through is normal, but she may need some help. When my sister years ago had a misscarriage, I bought her a little child angel figurine for Christmas. She was touched that I actually remembered her child. She has named that child as well.

Many people see a miscarriage as "natures way of getting rid of a mistake" or just a little embryo, a blob of tissue or whatever. But the embryo gets a little heartbeat very early on, like around 6 weeks. You daughter did not just miscarry, she lost her child, and all the hopes and dreams and expectations that come with it.

I would encourage her to talk about it. Refer to her loss as her baby. See if she is willing to go to a support group for women who have lost babies? I will be going to one next week. There are a lot of great books out there too.
If she is thinking of trying again in the future, a good book I am currently reading is "Pregnancy after a loss" A guide to pregnancy after a miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death. by Carol Cirulli Lanham. It gives you something to look toward in the future, some possibilities. And there are a lot of stories about women who have gone through this and survived. There are a lot of other book about pregnancy loss out there as well as online support groups, just do a search under infant loss grief support.

Best of luck to your daughter.

hope this helped.

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H2H