Post Partum Depression - Postpartum Depression (PPD) Message Board

lex jude · 10-06-2005, 06:18 PM

Well, lately I haven't been doing so well, and I've had a few episodes....as I call them. I'm not even thinking about harming DS, but I have been having insane crying spells, anger fits and this overwhelming fear and anxiety. DH finally convinced me to go get it checked out. Anyways, they took it really seriously, and got in me ASAP. After an evaluation and a few tests, they diagnosed me with PPD.

My questions is, has anyone else gone through this? How did you get through? What meds did they perscribe you (if any). They perscribed me Lexapro. I am so afraid to start taking meds, but I just want to feel better so I can enjoy my DS more. He is so precious and a good baby....I don't want him to think mommy is sad because of him. But I've read about side effects, and withdrawel, and that's more scary then what I'm going through now!!!

Any hope or support?

EDIT: Oh and how did you cope with taking care of your newborn? Especially if you can't get any help or anything? Doc doesn't want me to be alone....but, I have no one to help me at nights when DH is working!

jmcummins3 · 10-06-2005, 07:04 PM

I was also diagnosed with PPD when DD was about 3 months old (she is 5 1/2 months now). I was prescribed Paxil and take it at night because when I was taking it in the morning I was lethargic and exhausted all the time (moreso than I was with being sleep-deprived - I was getting worse). After I switched to taking it at night, I have had no side effects. It takes a few weeks for it to really start working, but I feel more normal now. I have been on it for about 2 months now and feel so much better and more like myself. DD only recently started sleeping through the night, so I was just as sleep-deprived but started to feel a lot better, so I know it was the Paxil that helped.

My symptoms were being really weepy, paranoid,anxious, resentful of DH and picking fights and not letting up over things that normally would not bother me at all and I would just let it go. I knew in my mind that I was overreacting but I could not back down, it was really strange. I kept telling myself that the fights were really stupid and that I shouldn't argue over nonsense, but I just couldn't help it. I would start bawling over nothing and felt like the whole world was crashing in. I am normally a happy-go-lucky person who loves life and I love MY life. I love my husband deeply and am absolutely thrilled to have a baby. I called my doctor because I thought I was going to wreck my marriage and couln't stop it and just didn't feel like myself. I never in a million years would have thought it was PPD because I had always heard it was negative feelings toward the baby and I didn't have any negative feelings toward the baby, only in general, not really towards DH either, just weepiness and overreacting to little things. I love being a mom again and love staying home with DD and never had any negative feelings toward her, I absolutely adore DH and love with him my whole heart and we normally get along really well and never argue. I just wasn't myself. I normally wouldn't be so vocal about having PPD, but I don't think that there is enough information about the symptoms when they are not towards the baby. There is so much talk about the symptoms of thoughts of hurting the baby or yourself, but not enough about PPD without any negative feelings toward the baby. I was familiar with all of those symptoms, but would not have thought that I had PPD based on my symptoms. I think if there were more information out there about other symptoms also being PPD, more women would recognize it and seek help. Good for you to get help. It is manageable and does go away eventually.

As far as coping, well the Paxil really helped tremendously for me. When DD started sleeping through the night (which was only recently), getting more sleep myself really helps. Try to get out as much as possible during the day, even if it's just out for a short walk. Go out to lunch with a girlfriend or you DH. Also, when DH is home, have him watch the baby while you go get your nails done, go shopping, go out with a girlfriend, get your haircut, or just take a bath or a nap and relax at home. Whatever will help you rejuvenate. Also, take help from anyone who will offer it. If it's babysitting, let someone else take the baby while you take a nap. Ask someone to pick up a few things from the store for you. Have someone come over and help you get some cleaning done. Maybe that someone is DH. He can help too. You don't have to do everything yourself. Lower your standards and only do what really needs to be done for now. When the baby starts sleeping through the night, you'll have a little more time and energy to do the rest.

Hope this helps.

Kiera1595 · 10-07-2005, 04:45 AM

I also went through PPD with both of my kids. With my 1st I was in total denial because I didn't want to be a "bad mom". I did nothing and it finally got better around 9 months when coincidentally my best friend moved in with us for 3 months.

This time I didn't make the same mistake, and I commend you for talking to people as well. It really kicked in when DD was 3 months old and I went nack to work. I went to two different therapists. Both agreed that I was somewhat depressed and mainly completely exhausted and that only makes it worse. I didn't go on any prescription drugs, but they both took me the supplement route. On recommended Levity which is basically a pill packed with different vitamin B's. It really helped me and you can get it at vitamin stores. The other recommended 5htp. It helps your brain make Melatonin which tricks the brain to relax and feel happy. This is also at the vitamin store.

Then I made it my goal to get as much help as possible. My DH also works at night like yours. And even though I couldn't get help at night, I did take it (all of it) during the day. I told everyone I knew that I was depressed and everyone stepped up to the plate to lend a hand. I also make sure that I get out of the house EVERYDAY ALONE. Even if it's just for 10 minutes. Remember that you need to take care of yourself in order to take care of everyone else...so don't feel bad about getting help or leaving the house to go get a pedicure or to take a walk.

I actually began to feel better as soon as I started telling everyone what was going on. Just that was a great weight off of my shoulders. It also got better when the baby finally started sleeping through the night. I hung out on the depression board reading people's threads to help me feel better.

It lasted about 2 months after that with everyday getting a little better. I feel like myself again.

Take all of jmcummins advice...it's all very true.

I hope you start to feel better soon. It's a horrible feeling, especially when everyone thinks you should be so happy. Take care and let us know how you are doing.

rouge · 10-08-2005, 08:04 AM

I think my DP had PPD. He freaked when the baby was born. He threw himself into work and play and was NEVER around. He would not come home until
3-4am after work, and would have been drinking. BOY! I do not know how I got through all of that. I had no help. My friends all had new babies of their own, so they were not able to help me. I had no family here. It was like I was a single mom but dealing with the stress of his issues. I guess I must have had some PPD myself because I was pretty crabby, angry at DP all the time. But I guess I had the right to be that angry with him. The only thing that got me through was my love for DS. I knew I had to do it. I

The wonderful thing is the sense of accomplishment I got out of it, and the strength I got. I had never done anything so hard in my life. Looking back I feel empowered that I survived, and that I did it the way I wanted to (Not letting him CIO, and responding to his cries). I have friends who are having a hard time with little things their toddlers are doing, because they get/got lots of help. They never develped that empowerment to do it on their own. You will come out of this so strong and amazed by your abilities. Women are amazing. No man could do it as well as we do.

DP is much much better. We went through counsuiling and lots of soul searching. He just proposed on DS 2nd birthday.

I am glad that you got help and that you are on some meds to help you. I hope things get better for you soon. I started taking 5htp a few months ago and it has really help with my mood swings and anxiety. These I had before the baby.

Oh and one thing that really helped me was to get out of the house every single day. Mostly I would just walk around the mall. With DS in the stroller it was like a break. I would stop at the coffee place and relax for awhile and just stroll along. I would also just take a ride in the car. DS would sleep much longer and I would get a snack, pull over and read a book.

lex jude · 10-12-2005, 07:48 AM

Thank you for all of your kind words and advice! I am doing much better and I am so happy that there is so much of a support system for this! Hopefully, in the future, it won't be so taboo and more and more women will be treated.

It's nice to come here and get some understanding and support! *hugs*