I was diagnosed with PPD 3 months post-pardum but it can hit anytime the first year. I had always heard that it was negative feelings towards the baby or not wanting to interact with the baby, but my symptoms had nothing to do with the baby. I was weepy a lot, mainly when I was sleep-deprived and overwhelmed. I was also picking fights with DH over little things that I normally wouldn't care about; I knew they were rediculous arguments over nothing but could not get myself to stop. I just didn't feel right. My doc put me on Paxil which really helped. My friend had great results with Paxil as well. It made me really tired, though, so after 3 months of being on it, I'm slowly going off of it. I feel like my life is back to some resemblance of normal, the baby is sleeping through the night now so I have the opportunity to get sleep, and things are back to being relatively normal being able to put the kids to bed and have a little quiet time alone together before we go to bed. I think I'm over the PPD now, but we'll see how I feel after coming off of the Paxil. I have to wean myself off of it over the next 2 weeks and just started.
If you think you might have PPD, even a mild case, talk to your doctor about it before it gets worse. There are things they can do to help and make you feel tons better. Being a mom is overwhelming, especially when you're trying to recouperate from a major trauma to your body and do it while being sleep-deprived. There is a reason they use sleep-deprivation as a form of torture. It does get a lot better after they start sleeping through the night and you start to get more consistent sleep yourself. It makes a world of difference. Hang in there!
I wonder about this too. I was talking to my Mom today, because sometimes it is just so tiring. I stay home with the baby, and I get no adult contact for four days in a row when DH is at work. My family comes over, but I guess what I really mean is there is no point during those four days that I am actually by myself. At the end of those days I am about to lose it! I asked my Mom about it though, if she ever got tired of being a Mom or ever got annoyed at us and she said she did. So I feel better about that now, I asked some other people with babies and they said the same thing.
I don't have "negative" feelings toward my baby, I love him, I do get annoyed with him sometimes, but even then I love him. As for DH I can't stand him most of hte time, lol. But that is nothing new!
I worry that I may have that, but I don't feel sad or anything, just when I have had a long stretch cooped up in the house I get tired. Just tired.
It's so different when you are a Mom, suddenly you do not matter at all. I used to have only my husband to take care of, now I have two babies to take care of! And I come third in everything. And I do love them both and wouldn't change that for anything, but it's hard. And everything is very very different.
And I constantly worry that something will happen to the baby, that he will get sick or hurt or die. I did the same thing while I was pregnant.
I think it's all such a big change that we couldnt' help from being overwhelmed.
I was diagnosed with PPD 5 days after giving birth by C section. I had the weepiness, anxiety, and general depressive symptoms. I used to sob when I had to pump breastmilk for my daughter. I reached out to a woman's health concern in my area prior to giving birth as I had depression a few years back and pretty much had most of the risk factors - no family to help, history of depression, fertility problems,etc. There are PPD support groups out there. Your local health department should be able to give you that information. I'm also taking antidepressants as well. Luckily in my case the PPD didn't prevent any bonding issues with my daughter. You know in your gut if things don't feel right. I read that 20% of women have PPD and the number maybe as high as 80% but many women suffer in silence. It's not socially acceptable to say hey having a baby is harder than I thought and it's not always a wonderful experience. I'm 10 weeks tomorrow postpartum and I am still on meds and in treatment. As for the meds I'm taking Wellbutrin and Effexor and gave up on breastfeeding.I refused to have any meds go into my daughter. I know some people think it's horrible I quit breastfeeding but for me my daughter needs a mother who is mentally healthy not breastmilk. Just remember you aren't alone in this. The fact that you talk about it is the first step to healing yourself. Women can get PPD anytime during the first year.Take care.
I've been worried that as well. I haven't been diagnosed with PPD, but I suspect that I'm dealing with it right now. I have a history of depression so I can spot my symptoms pretty quickly. I've basically been miserable since my DD was born. I love her and have no thoughts of hurting her at all, but sometimes I'll think, "I just want to walk away from it all." I get resentful and angry and end up taking it out on DH by screaming at him over stupid things. I guess I just feel really used up. My life hasn't been my own since I got pregnant and it still isn't and might never be again. That's a pretty scary and overwhelming thought.
I get so worried about myself when I read about women feeling so "rewarded" by motherhood when honestly, I don't feel rewarded. I feel like it's work. Yes, there will be moments where things are okay and I'm happy and she's happy, but honestly at this point I have no desire to have anymore children because I don't feel good about it. I feel guilty for having all of these feelings because I know it's not her fault and I do sincerely love her. I just feel so physically, emotionally and mentally drained.
Well, I think I went off on a slight tangent there, sorry. I haven't really talked to too many people about these feelings and I thought I'd post them so other people knew they weren't alone.
Edited to add: The biggest thing that has helped me so far is my supportive DH. He knows why I get so snippy and upset and he makes it a point to take over when needed. One morning he was getting ready to leave for the day and I had been up basically all night with our 6wk old daughter. I was losing it. I broke down and started crying. He had me lay down and he stayed home for the day so I could get a break. I know it's not possible for everyone's DH to do that, but on a smaller scale might help. We work out a system where DH will be "on duty" for a certain number of hours in the day and then I will be. That way I get a break. It can be tough, though, because even when he's on duty, I'm still on breastfeeding duty, but it does help.
Last edited by MissChicopea; 10-28-2005 at 02:58 AM.
I discovered today that is not the baby I get annoyed at, it is DH. When I am at home with the baby alone, or DH is asleep, I get "alone" time, even with the baby there. He does sleep and play alone sometimes. When DH is around, it is constant him right there making stupid noises at the baby! And I just cannot take it. I don't want to walk away from the baby, I want to walk away from DH! Although really, he is a good husband, just a loud one.
Well, I have been dealing with PPD for about 3 months now. I just talked to my doc yesterday and got more info. Basically, to make a long story short, I was taking Paxil, which was helping for the PPD but making me exhausted every day to the point where I couldn't function past 1pm. My regular doc tried to switch me to Wellbutrin, so I was taking Paxil, Wellbutrin and then needed Ambien to sleep at night (the Wellbutrin apparently gives you energy and was keeping me up at night, even with the Ambien). I was a zombie and literally couldn't see straight so I stopped the Wellbutrin and Ambien and am now weaning myself off of the Paxil. I am concerned about the PPD symptoms coming back, though, once I am off of the Paxil, so I called my OB/GYN to discuss alternative options.
My doc told me yesterday that PPD can show up in many different forms, not just involving the baby. She also said that by the time I am questioning my symptoms, I really need to be on something, whether an anti-depressant or an herbal treatment. She said if there is anything keeping me from getting through the day on a regular basis, it's PPD. Such as being irritable, difficult to get along with or finding it difficult to get along with DH or others (possibly the baby), being weepy, not sleeping, etc. Any of those things are probably PPD. Given my recent intolerance for the meds, I asked about less "intrusive" treatment if PPD is still an issue after I stop the Paxil. She said St. John's Wort is a natural anti-depressant with none of the side effects that the anti-depressants have. I would be more apt to try that instead of these meds that make me feel disoriented and medicated and hinder me from leading a normal life.
Anyway, I share this so others who are questioning their symptoms can talk to their doc about it. Some of the symptoms, like the ones I had, are not obvious PPD since they didn't involve the baby, but it's PPD nonetheless. That's why I feel compelled to share my experience - I was shocked to find out it was PPD that I was experiencing. I also wanted to make others aware of some of the treatments and possible side-effects of the meds so you can talk to your doc about what might work for you. Hope this helps!
Well I have 2 boys, the oldest is 3 and the baby is almost 9mths. I don't think that I suffered from PPD but I did have issues while I was pregnant and had to be put on Paxil (I think). I tried to continue to take it after I had him but the days that I remembered to take it I was all weepy and sad, the days that I didn't take it I was fine. So it had a reverse effect on me after the birth.
Now the other issues that you are all talking about I think that every mother goes through them. Unless you are wealthy and can afford a group of nannies and house keepers and a personal trainer to help you get rid of the "baby weight". Pretty much every day I feel overwhelmed and used up and so tired. I barely get to go to the restroom alone. The 3yr old and the baby follow me and beat on the door until I come out (oi vey) The only adult interaction that I get is when my husband gets home from work and by then I'm ready to explode. There are some days that are fine and dandy, then other days I swear that I feel like the worst mom ever. I feel that all I do is yell at the 3yr old to stop laying and hitting on his brother, and pick up your toys and don't jump on the couch, eat your sandwich, get that out of your mouth, don't hit the tv with that...I'm sure that you all get the picture. Some times I wonder what my life would be like if I didn't have children, where would I be, what would I be doing? Then I think about the times that my oldest walks up to me and says "Mom, I'm your best friend" or "I love you mommy" and when my baby falls asleep on my chest and he lays there so peacefully and I can feel the drool forming a puddle on my chest, I know that this is where I want to be and that I wouldn't trade them for the world. A night out without them every once in awhile would be GREAT though.
Having children is the hardest job in the world, it's also the most thankless. We don't get a paid vacation, or a weekly pay check. We do get to clean up the poop and the pee and the vomit and all the other messes that they make. But the best benefits are ours and ours alone, we get to be with them every day, we get most of the cuddles and the kisses (sure we get the spit ups and the slobbers too) but we get the time to just be with them, and it's a great place to be.
Last edited by Dani Girl 78; 11-02-2005 at 08:28 AM.