where to begin... ds is just 8 days old, and he is an exceptional baby. he hardly cries and he sleeps all the time; aside from constantly nursing him and changing him, he's not much trouble at all- i love him to death and have no regrets... BUT i am soo jealous of dh i cant stand it. aside from getting to go to work 5 days a week, he spends 2 days a week with his ds from a previous marriage. this week he has been to the movies AND been swimming with his ds. the only time i leave the house is to take our ds to be tortured at the doctor with the heel stick to check his jaundice levels, which i have had to do every day this week. we are struggling financially (we have actually put diapers on the credit card) so going out to eat or to get my nails done is not an option. also, not ONE person has come to visit me since having ds, and im beginning to feel very alone... and VERY jealous and resentful toward dh. here in the past couple days i have felt very sad and weepy. is this postpartum depression? i have plenty of good feelings toward ds, and have no problems taking care of him, i just feel so down and lonely and like i don't have a life. has anyone else felt this way?
Sounds more like husbandcanbejerk-itis to me!!! Now I am not being judgemental about your dh (and he and mine could get together to compare notes on who is ******* their wife off more) but it sounds like he's not being as supportive of you as he could be. I appreciate that he has a son from another relationship but if you are putting diapers on credit cards and yet he's still going out to the movies and swimming with his other child it hardly seems fair. There's got to be some things he could do for free with his other son.
I don't think you have ppd at all as it sounds like you are a great new mom and are doing well with your new babe. I would let your dh know how you are feeling though as the resentment could turn into something bigger and may reflect onto your babe at some point.
BTW I feel for you in your financial needs....we are doing o.k. this time but then again we have a lot of stuff from ds#1...including cloth diapers...which saved me over $1500 in the long run just with my first.
i think your dh could help out more, like he could take ds off yor hands for a few hours either to see his half brother or round to grandparents or maybe just for a walk either way it will let you have a break i had to get my dh to do this for me as i felt i never got a moment to myself to truely relax away from ds like my dh did and i have to say it has really helped.
LMAO!! (I almost spit coffe out my nose.) If it's any consolation, I get husbandcanbejerk-itis from time to time, too.
I highly recommend any baby carier (preverably a soft one when they newborns so they can snuggle up against you) that allows you to have fee hands. You can make a wrap for less then 10 bucks (cost of the fabric), and there's no sewing. You can even use an old table cloth. AND you can nusre in it too.
Once you've got it all sorted out you can get out and do stuff - go for a walk, go window shopping, go to an LLL meeting, etc. Hook baby up to the milk tanker, tuck him into the wrap, and off you go. I walked around bed bath and beyond the other day with DD nursing in her sling. No one could tell, it just looked like a sleeping baby in a sling. I picked out curtains and everything! It was so nice to just get out, and it was my first succesful public sling nursing session, and it felt AWESOME - so empowering.
Oh, those baby blues. Everything feels so right but also so wrong... My first three months were up and down, angry, crying, and poor pitiful me. I would cry at nothing. Commericals! I just remember Kristy Alley in Look whos talking - sitting infront of the television sobbing - HA! Didn't think it would happen to me... DH had to remind me to eat. (shocking and amazing after stuffing myself for 9 months.) If you just don't feel right, you need to sit down with DH and explain you are going to need a little bit more from him during this time. If you feel that you can pull out of this yourself or with herbal treatment, good. If not, don't feel that it is wrong to discuss with your doctor about medicines that can help (with breastfeeding) which is what I did. I also forced myself out of the house, LLL meetings, new moms group (thru the hospital) and just going to the mall walking around with DS in his stroller. Just start small. Good luck. Hope this helps.
thanks to all for the responses and good suggestions... im feeling a little bit better today. i have tried explaining to dh that i need him to help out during my recovery period but it didn't really sink in until last night when he saw me break down crying. after that he cooked dinner, which was nice.
muffintop- i know just what you mean about everything feeling so right but so wrong! it's encouraging to know im not the only one.