Re: Could it be postpartum depression?
Yeah, 12 days since birth...baby blues happens within the first 2 weeks, 3 at the outside. Since you've got two kids and you know you weren't like this with the first one, it's worth talking to your doctor. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you think something isn't right, it probably isn't.
It sounds like you're having an anxious time, too, and that you're trying to manage it by trying to hold on tight to everything. It's hard to imagine being able to meet the needs of your two little ones and your dh, not to mention your own needs, isn't it. If you try a search for support for postpartum you may find something in your area specifically. There's a ton of info on the internet about postpartum depression; some of it in the US and some of it international. One source, in South Africa, has a really good postnatal depression quiz, with a lot of symptoms listed.
PPD is really treatable. Therapy, meds, separately or the combination help tremendously. I had the anxious postpartum, along with some scary thoughts--which are pretty common with the whole PPD realm. It was about 3 weeks of Zoloft and I really felt a LOT like myself again. What they didn't tell me at the time was a person needs to stay on meds for a minimum of 6 months consistently, not just until you feel better. --would have been good to know. So, call your doc (that you feel most comfortable talking to) on Monday. Some aren't comfortable treating mental health issues. If that's the case, ask for a referral, oh, and that blood work be done to rule out thyroid imbalances or anemia. You will get through this, altho "snapping out of it" is unrealistic--just to let your husband know. It's a roller coaster ride for a bit, but with support and treatment you'll be there in "no time". hth