Re: Postpartum depression
I've been in your situation, and your personal trainer is that little man who is the reason you have to haul yourself out of bed every day. Once you've got kids, that's it, they keep you going through times when you really don't think you've got another ounce of anything left in you. Here are some things that helped me:
Healthy diet - three good meals, healthy snacks in between (you need to eat every two to three hours to keep your blood sugar steady). Snack on things like fruit and nuts or veg sticks and hummous. Plenty of fruit and veg at each meal and limit sugar, caffeine, alcohol and wheat, all alter blood sugar and cause problems when you're depressed.
Relaxation/exercise - not the thing you want to do when you feel so low, but if you can manage to sit outside and deep breath in the fresh air for five minutes a day it will help. Put that baby in the pram and go for a walk every day, you'll both benefit from the fresh air and the exercise is good for you, I think it's endorphins? that get released and make you feel better.
Focus on your positives - write a list, every morning, of everything you've got - healthy baby, nice home, friends etc, etc - write down everything you can think of, from the smallest (got enought money in your purse to buy milk) to the biggest. It helps keep your mind off what you don't have and helps you to start noticing how much good stuff we all have and take for granted.
Try and do stuff you love - if you have a hobby you really enjoy, try spending some time doing it - hard with a baby, I know, but even if it's only ten minutes it's better than nothing. I also used to keep a list of my friends phone numbers on the wall by the phone and make myself ring people; it's amazing what your friends can get you through.
Is there any way you could do voluntary work whilst you look for a job? It's a kind of inbetween - there's a commitment and you keep yourself busy, but it's not as pressured as getting a job and keeping it. It might boost your confidence a bit and give you a 'practise' run at the real thing.
It does get better. You've been through a huge amount - even though babies are wonderful the strain of pregnancy and birth are pretty underestimated by a lot of people and can affect some more than others. Try to focus on today and not think too much about the future - I was terrible for doing that, but only think as far ahead as tea-time now.
It does get better, but it's a long road and sometimes you go back a bit. Just imagine you'd had a really bad car crash and broken all your bones. Even though everything would have healed by now, you'd still need to take up your old life again slowly a bit at a time. This is the same thing, go easy on yourself and try and take it little by little. You'll be doing something one day and suddenly realise you feel quite cheerful, or you'll go to bed one night and realise you've felt good all day. It does come eventually. Good luck xx