I apologize if this has been gone over 1000's of times on here but I'm new to this.
First, My wife had our first baby on April 12th. She's beautiful and we couldn't be happier with being first time parents. I do have a couple of issues I'm trying to find out more info on though and I appreciate all help. I hope I don't sound like a "stereotypical male pig" but my first question is about my wife's libido related to PPD. She claims to have PPD and the doctor put her on zoloft (two days ago). I say claim because I don't understand. Her only symptoms of PPD are that she feels anxious and doesn't feel comfortable leaving our baby with anyone else but me. After birth and even during pregnancy my wife didn't want to have sex. AT ALL. We first met 10 years ago and sex was great and often, obviously it has declined over the relationship but at this point we have had sex 3 times this year. Not exactly great for a 28 and 29 year old. She told me I need to understand more about PPD, so I've been looking up as much info as possible (even during work putting me way behind on everything). I have seen that PPD causes drops in libido which can be a factor and I've also seen that SSRI's can cause the same thing, I love my wife more than anything I can't stand to touch her or even look at her cause she is so beautiful and sexy to me I just want to lay in bed with her all day cuddle and more... she has this effect on me that is just, in my mind, great. I used to touch her all the time and flirt with her constantly but I read that doing that may be a turn off and push her further away from the idea of sex (I'm a very sexual person and this has been a constant throughout her knowing me). I'm prepared to be patient as I want her to be healthy but it is not great for my mood either as I get testy and irritable in the long droughts when we go without. Any help or ideas of how to get passed this or help her get more sensual?
Second and just as important, I can't find much on PPD where PPD is not harmful thoughts, lack of attention to the baby, etc. She's the best mom I've ever been around, she's attentive, loving, caring, etc. the only other issue she has with PPD is she has anxiety when thinking about leaving the baby with someone other than me. She has been away two times for an extended period of time. A bachelorette party two weeks ago and a wedding last Saturday, which we stayed overnight. I saw no outward signs of panic from her, she just tells me the way she feels and I believe her 100%. Is zoloft the right choice should I ask her eventually to go out to dinner or something and have a family member watch our baby and maybe try a little bit of pressure in a taseteful not forceful way. I feel a bit of a disconnect in our relationship and I've told her that but she doesn't feel the same. She has asked me to help out around the house more and I've done so, now her only chore is laundary and she jumped on my case for not doing that. Is this PPD? Is there anyone out there that has a similar experience.
Thanks in advance for any help and sorry it's so long.
PPD is serious and a horrible thing to experiance I went through it myself. Whatever you do stay patient and understanding. A huge factor in mine was my daughters father went from kissing me hello before she was born to coming home and barely acknowledging me enough to even just say hello. He went right to the baby. I will tell you that only made it so much worse because ontop of my guilt and hate for feeling unhappy, resenting my baby, being jealous, paranoid etc. It only left me feeling more resenttful and regretful.
Theres wealth of info out there on just how serious the symptoms of PPD are... This isnt the baby blues, this is a serious medical condition that can have serious results if not treated properly and as the husband you need to support your wife through all this regardless of how rediculous, irrational, selfsih and crazy she may be at times and her thinking may be at times dont judge and dont respond to her as if shees crazy, and stupid and her feelings and experiances are pathetic.
Guys cant fathom just how horrible an experiance PPD is. No one can unless they go through it themselves... Another thing sometimes it can be more then a year before PPD fully goes away. The best you can do is be supportive, loving, patient and help her with the baby, some guys leave the woman to do everything my x did, so much to the point where i would get barely no sleep for days because of a colicky baby and a father who wouldnt relieve me for not even 2 hours...