My son's girlfriend has informed him that she's pregnant, however she claims to have taken a test that resulted in a plus sign and a negative sign. I've tried looking online but can't find a test that has results like this. Does anyone know and know whether this is a positive or negative?
I literally just found out an hour ago and am too upset to call her or her parents. If I could find this out asap, that would be great.
I'm sorry you've gotten this upsetting news. When I found out at home I was pregnant with my children, I used the EPT test and it had a plus sign if you were pregnant and a minus sign if you were not pregnant. Let's hope this is a false alarm...
Thanks to both for your replies. Last night I talked with the girl and she claims she didn't really understand the results, so her mother's taking her to the doctor. Let's hope she's wrong and there is no baby!!
I'm glad you were able to speak with this girl. Communication is going to be very important whether she is or isn't pregnant. She and your son have chosen to become sexually active. I don't know how old they are, but regardless, they need to understand the consequences of sexual intercourse and the responsibilities that come along with it. They also need to understand the long term, life changing responsibility that comes along with having a baby at such a young age.
A lot of teenage girls have this "romantic" picture in their minds about having a baby with the boy they are so in love with, and reality just doesn't normally match their romantic picture.
I know you are probably already thinking about all these things, so I hope I didn't offend by saying this. Being the mom of a teenage daughter and a 12 year old son, my mind just kind of started going through all of these things when I read your post.
If they are young, like 15/16 yrs. old, then making them break up probably isn't going to work because it will make them want to be together even more. My parents tried that when I was 16, and I still snuck around and continued to see him. Also, if they are this young, and because you know they are sexually active, you all need to have a big sit down and discuss this entire situation and she needs to be on birth control, but also letting them know that this isn't permission to have sex, it's just insurance that if they continue to have sex an unplanned pregnancy hopefully won't happen. Maybe even trying to find one of those teen counselling agancies that can put them through something like taking care of that baby like you see on some of the talk shows. You know, the one that has the computer chip in it- it cries and the girl and boy have a "key" like thing and have to take care of the baby? At the end of it all, the counselor reads the computerized report of how well or how terribly the teens took care of the baby? Hope I'm making sense here.
Anyway- I do hope this young girl is not pregnant. Please let us know how things are going. I wish all of you the best!
Thanks for your concern. It still hasn't been discerned whether or not she's actually pregnant. Her mother told me yesterday that she's taking her to the doctor next week for a blood test.
A little background. My son is 17 and she just turned 16. This winter there was another "scare" that turned out to be nothing, but at that time I had the talk with my son, about using protection and the consequences of his actions should she get pregnant. I also talked with her mother and suggested that she get the girl on the pill, to which she replied "me and her dad don't want to do that because then she'll think we approve." I told her mother at that time that they don't care if we approve or not, they're already having sex! Plus, there are five girls in her family, all younger than she is, so apparently birth control is not a high priority in the family. They did not have unprotected sex, they used a condom and it was only twice (according to my son) but I feel I did all I could as a mother in educating him.
I've since found out that the girl's father is abusive and I think you might be right, that this young girl thinks my son, who can't even do his own laundry, is going to "rescue" her from this situation. He's actually been trying to break up with her for several months because she's very jealous and manipulative, so I've put a stop to the relationship, baby or no baby, they are no longer boyfriend and girlfriend. He seems relieved. Now we just have to find out if there is actually a baby. I'm thinking more and more that there isn't, that she's just doing this for attention and to get him back. Let's hope so!
P.S. If there is indeed a baby, and it's his, what are his legal obligations?
I was wondering how things were going. I do hope she isn't pregnant. They just are not ready for such a responsibility. Fingers crossed. (Toes crossed too)
As far as I know, most states have laws about supporting a baby financially, so if she is pregnant, he may be required to support the baby. I know there isn't much a 17 year old can do to support a baby but, they can make him.
Again, lets just hope and pray that she is just trying to get attention and hold on to your son. I do hope this is a lesson for him about the responsibilities that come along with sex. I'm sure he has. And yes, it sounds like you have done everything you can in educating him, so this is a good thing.
You'd think after the first scare her parents would have put her on birth control, but it sounds like she might not would have taken it anyway. If I were to find out my 17 year old daughter is having sex, I'd have her put on them immediately all the while letting her know this is NOT my permission to be having sex. I don't think simply telling a teenager who is having sex to stop would work. I've already had "the talk" with my daughter and we do talk with our son about it. He is 12 and asks questions, so we answer them in a way that a 12 year old needs to hear them. No "gorry" details, but details a 12 year old can process.
Well, here's a little more drama to add to the situation.
My son had been trying to break off this relationship because it was becoming more and more apparent that she wasn't stable. Last night she called to talk to him, and told me that her mom had taken her to a psychiatrist. He wanted to put her on meds but couldn't until they found out if she was pregnant. She went to a doctor and he verified that she is (her mother confirmed this).
Last week, when we first found out about the possible pregnancy, I told my son that baby or no, the "relationship" is over. I won't allow him to have anything more to do with her or her family (this is after her father assaulted him). I figure I can do this while he's still 17, and he actually seems relieved that he doesn't have to deal with her.
So last night when she called, she was almost hysterical, and I could hear her, her mom and dad all yelling at each other, and she was screaming "I want to die!" because my son won't be her boyfriend any more. This was all the confirmation I needed that my decision to keep the two apart is the right one. Then her mom got on the phone and I explained that it was my decision not to allow the relationship to continue, that my son had been trying to get out of it for several months, that my responsibility was to my son and that we would do all we needed to do as far as the baby was concerned, but that for now she needed to take care of her daughter (as I could still hear her crying hysterically in the background).
So, it's a big mess. This girl is practically suicidal and she's going to have a baby?? Then what? Did she think that getting pregnant was the way to keep my son?
Anyway, thanks for letting me talk/type this out. I'll keep you posted!
Wow-what a situation you have to deal with here. Did her mom by chance give you the written results from the doctor? Not that I'm saying you should doubt that she is pregnant, but it sounds like not just the girl, but the entire family maybe has problems.
I know this is just an awful situation, but it can be dealt with, and you did the right thing in letting the girls mother know that you will be there to do everything you can for the baby. Whether you like the girl and her family or not, you are going to have a grandbaby, and that has to be the main focus.
It sounds like this girl needs serious counselling at the very least. But, you can't force her parents to do this. Can I ask how comminuaction is between you and her mother? It sounds like the dad put his hands on your son, so there probably is no communicating with him. He had no right to put his hands on your son. His daughter was a willing participant in this.
I really feel for you and don't want to overstep my boundaries, but one piece of advice I can think of is no matter what, try and keep some kind of civil/open communication at least with this young ladies mother. I know this sounds really bad, but if this girl really is unstable, she may not even carry the baby to full term. If she is depressed and has too much stress, it could cause her to have a miscarriage.
No matter what happens, it sounds like you and your family are going to have to be the level headed ones. It sounds like you already are. Good luck, and please do feel free to post/vent any time. We are here to listen and to help give you moral support.
Thanks for your kind words. Right now my only option is to talk with the mother - the dad is OUT as far as I'm concerned and the girl is unstable, so that leaves the mother. Yesterday I asked her to fax me the doctor's letter - so far, no fax. So, is she really pregnant? So far I don't have any evidence.
My husband is deceased so I'm handling this on my own, but he's been gone almost 13 years so I'm used to it. I just wish I could get confirmation of her pregnancy so we can make decisions about what to do next. It's ultimately her decision, of course, but I wonder if she's getting any kind of information or usable help from her parents or doctor.
Hey! I've been reading your posts and I just wanted to say a few things. I'm still a teen myself, only 20 years old. I knew a few girls in high school, when they felt their relationships were failing they faked pregnancies. 2 different girls. Nobody knew until they both magically had miscarriages. I had been pregnant in high school, and am pregnant now, so I knew certain things, esp. about miscarriages and everything was fake. 1 of the girls confessed she had faked hers. If I were you, I'd make 100% sure this girl is pregnant. It sounds like a really flakey/shifty situation and I'm sorry you have to go through it. Also, if she IS really suicidal, and she went to a psychiatrist, if she was found to be suicidal, she would not be able to keep her baby. How do you feel about adoption? It sounds like she is an attention seeker.
Hi Karen, Well you do indeed have a terrible situation going on! First of all, when this girls father put his hands on your son, did you press charges against him? I certainly would have, that is for sure.
Also, with everything that you have witnessed such as when this girl called your home and there was all the screaming going on and her saying that she "wants to die" as well as her needing some mental help, have you considered calling Children Services (I dont know what it is called in your area, maybe DFS) and reporting that family? If she is indeed pregnant with your grandchild i would consider it as this could be the key to getting her some help.
I hope that you dont think that i am over-stepping my boundaries, but...... are you absolutely sure that your son "really" wants to end the relationship with her? I ask this because you had said that he had been trying to break up with her for several months.....so if he didnt/doesnt want to be with her for that long period of time, then why was he having sex with her? I feel that it takes two to participate in sex so there for it is equally the responsibility for both him and her to have used some form of birth control. So even if she "intentionally" got pregnant it wouldnt have worked had he used a condom (of course providing it didnt malfunction).
Please dont think that i am trying to be mean, i have been following your story and i am in a position where i can be biased and look at the whole picture. I, too, have my fingers crossed for you that this is truely a false alarm and i also dont blame you one bit for making your son end the relationship with her. It sounds like you have a very nice and well rounded family so you surely dont need this girls problems and drama dragging your son down.
I really wish you and your family the very best!
Please keep us posted!
P.S. Your son is soooo very lucky to have a mom like you who is supportive and willing to stand by his side during this life changing event.
I certainly have considered that she's faking, in fact that's why I asked for a copy of the doctor's report (which, 24 hours later, still hasn't arrived). There was a "scare" earlier this winter that turned out to be nothing as well. So far I have no confirmation that she's actually pregnant except her and her mother's word, and at this point I don't believe either one of them.
The reason I didn't press charges against the dad was because 1) my son had no marks and wasn't injured and 2) pressing charges would have meant going downtown to the prosecutor's office, etc., etc., and being all alone in this, didn't seem like it would be worth it. But, the police did make out a report and went and talked to the dad, so the assault is on record. I have the report number and the policeman's name and badge number. I have also thought about calling children's services.
I absolutely agree that my son is responsible IF she's pregnant and IF it's his. I was thinking about it this morning and remembered that earlier this spring, my son was the one who was all upset because another boy had entered the picture and he was afraid she was going to leave him! This went on for several weeks and - voila - they were back together again. So now I'm thinking "OK, was there another boy and if so, could HE be the father?" My son INSISTS he used a condom each time they had sex but, who knows?
Thanks everyone for your concern. I'll keep you all posted.
Hey There, So did this girl and her mother ever show you a pregnancy confirmation from the doctor yet? I would just keep doing what you are already doing and then "if" she is indeed pregnant, once the baby is born i would then have your son request a paternity test. After all he does have the right to a paternity test especially if he will have to pay support.
Again, i wish you and your family luck and i hope that all turns out ok for ya's!
What about her taking another test and her showing it to you? Because clearly it'd be positive if she IS in fact pregnant. Just an option there, since they won't give you the report. Or at least your son seeing one. Did he even see the original test?
And if she says she doesn't have it, blah blah blah, go buy her a cheapy one at Walmart or Target, they work just as well, and have her take it. It really sounds to me like she is faking this whole thing. Maybe for attention, or maybe she got pregnant by the other boy in the picture and he wouldn't stick around so she pinned it on your son since he maybe seemed like he would stick around if she was pregnant. Who knows. This sounds like a very flakey situation.
Good luck and I'd love to hear what happens, so keep us updated
Well I don't really have any advice for you but I wanted to let you know you have support here. Teaching your son about protection rather than abstnance( wow sorry I can't spell) Is the best thing you could've done. I'm sorry that he wasn't completely listenng to you. I think you should try to take a deep breath and relax untill you know forsure that she is indeed pregnant. Sad to say but young girls, especially ones who have issues, sometimes fake pregnancies. And you can't be completely sure her mother is a reliable sourse of info. So getting her to provide proff is the best thing. I understand what is is like to live in a 1 parent home as a teenager. My father died when I was barely 15 and it was just me and my mother from then on. I'm now 21 and I can tell you that you seem like you are doing great as a mother without your partner. This whole situation has nothing to do with your parenting skills. One day your son will realize he should be listening to your advice. so keep giving it. Anytime you wanna vent I'm here to read it. love Jess
Last week I ran around like a crazy person trying to find out what was going on and whether or not she's really pregnant, while no one else seemed to be too concerned. So far I still haven't any proof she is pregnant (her mother LOST the letter from the doctor!) and she also hasn't gotten her daughter to any type of prenatal counseling or contacted me since last week. So, the longer this goes on, the more 2+2 is making 5, and the more I'm convinced she's faking it and she and the mother are lying to me.
So now my attitude is that until I get positive proof otherwise, I'm going to assume she's not pregnant. And I'm not going to keep asking for it, they'll have to provide it to me. In the meantime, the girl keeps contacting my son wanting to know "why they can't be together" and calling my son's friend's homes and cell phones to where they have to stop answering the phone. And, I had to drive past her house yesterday while running errands and there was a police cruiser in her driveway! Apparently she had run away from home and her parents called the police. We're talking about a really dysfunctional family here and while we're not perfect (God knows!) we look like the Cleavers compared to this nuthouse!
Wowww...I know I'm probably preaching to the choir when I say this, but the ex-girlfriend sounds like a complete whackjob. Considering her mental instabilities (what I would venture to assume after reading your descriptions of her), I wouldn't rule out the possibility of her faking a pregnancy just to get attention. When she realizes she's not getting enough attention and that she would have to start showing to have a believable pregnancy, she may magically "miscarry".
I didn't see anything about this in the previous posts, so I'll ask now. Is the girl's family hurting for money? Does the girl herself seem like she wants money? A second thought I was having was that, if she is indeed pregnant, she could be trying to wrangle your son into fatherhood for the sake of child support so she and/or her family could have extra money. I've heard stories about women of all ages who get pregnant just to receive child support. If your son was being truthful about using condoms each time they had sex, is it possible the girl sabotaged them (like poked holes in them)? Did she seem very baby-rabid?
The girl seems to have a screwed-up home life, so for all we know, she may have figured a baby would make life all puppies and rainbows and everything would be fine and dandy. Aside from my rant, I really hope you get some kind of solid proof of this girl's pregnancy. Some little inkling tells me that something's fishy in this situation...why would the girl's mum be so hesitant about giving you proof of the girl's confirmed pregnancy if there wasn't anything to hide?
I wish you and your son the best of luck in this situation.
The family is definitely working class, both parents are self-employed, there are FIVE kids, all girls, and they don't appear to have much. But then, either do we! I am also self-employed (a freelance writer/marketer) and my husband passed away almost 13 years ago. So there's no money to be had here, and as far as my son, he's 17, no job, doesn't drive yet, is *barely* making it through school, so he's not going to provide much in child support! If she thinks he's going to be her knight on a white horse to "rescue" her from her home, I'm afraid she's sorely mistaken! I mean I love him but he can barely pick up his own dirty clothes!!
I know this is really frustrating for you. The mother LOST the pregnancy test results? How in the world? This is just insanity and YES, it sounds like 2+2 is equalling 5 right now!
I wonder too, IF she is pregnant, if it isn't the other boys baby and that's why they LOST the paperwork? I mean, if they were able to tell how far along she is and it coincides with the time she hooked up with the other boy, then 2+2 does =5!! And, if they do come accross that paperwork, then I'd still want her to take a home test at your home so you will know that paperwork hasn't been faked/forged/altered. I went to school with a girl who did that. She actually altered the paperwork! When she got caught, she started saying the guy raped her! Drama Queen trying desperately to get attention. And your son swears he used a condom each time right? If he is telling the truth and they never had one break, then there is a good chance she's either lying or it's the other guys baby. (again, if she is indeed pregnant)
If this girl is pregnant, I'd be asking for a paternity test as soon as that baby is born too. As the possible father of the baby, your son has a legal right to request it.
I also find it odd that the mother hasn't taken this girl for any kind of prenatal care???!! What kind of mom is she? If they can't afford a private OB, then she certainly can take her to the clinic. This puzzle is just too weird to try and put together.
I still HOPE this is just a bogus claim from a troubled girl trying to get attention. She sounds creepy to me calling all his friends and such.....