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Old 11-10-2006, 12:10 PM   #1
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angelbaby0412 HB User
Talking 17 and wanting a baby

Hey my name is Nicole and im 17, yes i kno im young. But ive been wanting a baby for almost 6 months now. Me n my bf have been together for 3 yrs nd we have known each other for 7 yrs. and we have discussed having a baby plenty of times and we both know we are ready because weve taken care of his lil sister since she was first born and she is now 3. so we have experience in taking care of a baby. and im a junior and im graduating early to and then im going to go to college online or wait for college havent decided yet and my bf has a job and we have money saved for if we do have a baby....Ive been trying to get pregnant for the past 6 months and yes i kno it takes time but its hard to wait..ive been keeping track of my cycles..and i thought i was pregnant last month but i wasnt..can you guyz help me out just a lil can you give me tips on becoming pregnant faster?

Thank you,
Nicole

P.S. If you want to tell me im crazy thats ok to..

 
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Old 11-10-2006, 01:34 PM   #2
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Re: 17 and wanting a baby

OK so you say you've been taking care of his little sister for 3 years. That must be a lot of work to have a job to pay for ALL of her needs while you are still in high school. And to pay for your rent/home mortage and all of your clothes, electric bills and everything, plus all of her medical care, etc. WOW -- how did you do it???

Or did his parents pay for all of that? I'm confused. Is his sister an orphan - why have you been supporting this child financially and taking care of her instead of the mom/dad????

Do you and your boyfriend live together? I'm assuming that you both live together with his little sister??

How in the world do you do all of that at age 17?

Is your boyfriend saving enough money to support both you, his little sister and the baby??? How are you going to pay for college? I'm just wondering. I make $45,000 ($21/hour) a year and I know I would have a very hard time to support a baby, a 3 year old and another "adult."

How in the world do you do it or plan to do it?? He must have more than $100,000 saved up!!! Are you guys from extremly wealthy families???


OH -- also, did you know that you can have babies until you're in your early 40s? You have more than 20 years to start a family. I went to college and now I'm working in my career. I couldn't imagine having a kid! Plus, it is super fun to be 21 and go out and party. You want to give all that up? Seriously, babies need attention 24/7. I wanted a baby too when I was younger, but I grew out of it!!

OH-- and what if your baby is born with a special need such as down's syndrome or autism. Those conditions can be really expensive to take care of. Have you even thought of that?

Last edited by minnesotagirl; 11-10-2006 at 01:39 PM.

 
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Old 11-10-2006, 01:52 PM   #3
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ASPROUSEY05 HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

i have to agree with minnesota... a lot of girls feel the need to have a baby at 17, and then most grow out of it!! and by the time they are in their mid 20s they are glad they never fullfilled that want.. then there are the ones who did fulfill, but they grow out of it... noone in high school is ready to be a mom. you may end up having to be one, and you can do it, but that doesnt make you ready.. i am married, live on my own... me and my huscband work, pay for 2 cars, pay bills, and make about 75,000 a yr and it will still be tough. im guessing you live with your parents... you may want a baby, but a babies need is more important then yours, and if you cant fullfill it that is selfish.. it is natural to want a baby, especially after being with a guy a while, but that doesnt mean its a good idea.. they are not babies forever, and they may have more needs, a relationship since your 14 is not likely to be forever.. sorry! if you want to know how to better your chances to get pregnant, speak to your obgyn... if can take 6-8 mos.. and if your not maybe you need to see a dr... and if your too scared to tell you dr that your in high school and want to get pregnant, then you are not ready to have a baby..

 
Old 11-10-2006, 01:57 PM   #4
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barton93 HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

Way to go Minnesotagirl!!!!!!!!!!!! Everything that said Minnesota is true. Having kids is NOT easy. I'm 31 years old and I have 2 children. My oldest is 12.....I had her when I was 18. I didn't start going to college until I was 28 years old. My husband and I both planned on having kids right away, which we did...........but we had to sacrifice so many things, but in the end......our decision wasn't the best one. We don't regret our children at all, but we really put ourselves into a financial bind, which in turn affected our children.

Also, my oldest lost her hearing when she was 5 years old. Imagine how much money was spent just trying to figure out why she was losing her hearing. Luckily, we have health insurance, but if we hadn't, there was THOUSANDS of dollars spent to try to figure this out and to stop the loss from progressing.............which we ended up losing. What started out as a mild hearing loss has grown to a severe/profound hearing loss (meaning....she is clinically deaf). Our insurance covered most of everything, except for her hearing aids...............which we had to pay for and they cost $15,000. The bad thing is that hearing aids don't have a long life. So, we're looking at needing to replace them in about a year or so, and again............we're looking at another at least $15,000..............probably more since her hearing loss has changed.

My point..............we're talking about THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS of dollars just spent on my daughters ears!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to mention all other expenses that come with raising children.

Another thing.............my husband and I have an income of roughly $80,000 per year..........which isn't too bad, but not nearly enough!!!!!

17 years old....................no way are you ready financially or otherwise for this. You have so many years ahead of you. Why start a family now??? Why not go to college, travel, see the world, save money.......etc before you start a family. Live your life first.

 
Old 11-10-2006, 01:59 PM   #5
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sparklebleed HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

Wow, I was in your same exact shoes almost when I was 15. I was TRYING to get pregnant pretty much. I'm so thankful that I didn't. I'm pregnant now at 19 and am still not ready... I'm basically freaking out everyday lol.. and I thought I wanted a baby too.

I wish I'd have waited until I had a good career and college and all that so I could have given my child anything and everything he/she wants and needs. My boyfriend has a job too.. but even with that we're barely going to be able to survive. My mom AND dad work and my dad has a great job and works around 60 hours a week making 20 dollars an hour and they still barely survive! I don't know how in the heck me and my fiance are going to do it.

I just want to say, if you get pregnant, good luck and I'm sure you'll be a great mom. But, BE PATIENT!! You have lots of time to get pregnant so just enjoy not having a baby right now.. spend more time going out with your boyfriend, because once you have a baby you probably won't be able to afford it, take a vacation, hang out with your friends, etc. Your time will come!

 
Old 11-10-2006, 01:59 PM   #6
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Wink Re: 17 and wanting a baby

hey, my name is val and im 19 years old. i got pregnant with my son when i was 15 and sweetie let me tell you i was sooooo scared ! i didnt let anyone know i was pregnant till i was 5 months along! and now i regret waiting that long , once my family let me know they were okay with it i was free to enjoy my pregnancy, if only it could have lasted longer ! now my son is 3 yrs old and i am married to the most amazing man, who loves our son more than anything. in the end its your decision! just remember life is about taking risks, and some of those "risks" turn into little miracles!
god bless
-val

 
Old 11-10-2006, 02:42 PM   #7
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ASPROUSEY05 HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

im happy for you val, and yes all children are little miracles and blessing, but you should not risk not being able to provide for a child! and risk maybe not getting to finsish school, or heck the college experience.. if it happens, you do what you gotta do.. but to plan to have a child when you your self is a child is selfish.. i wouldnt consider it risk taking.. id consider it not thinking... and immature.. now of course im not saying that makes you a bad mom.. but im sorry you cant give your child everything they deserve when you yourself is in highschool!!!!!!!!!! and if you guys who are pregnant have girls would you think it was a good idea to condone them getting pregnant while in hs?? i dont think so.. please dont risk it.. wait until you are outta school, try living on your own, experience life, be risky by traveling to another country and trying some exotic food, or go sky diving, dont do it by making a baby..

 
Old 11-10-2006, 02:50 PM   #8
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minnesotagirl HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

Good point -- there are other ways to take risks.

Gosh, when I was 17, I met the man I thought I'd be with forever. We got married when I was 20 and I wanted to have babies of course. But I got divorced when I was 23 because I totally changed as a person! Now I'm soooooooo happy I did that. I wish I hadn't held myself back in that relationship all those years. I feel so free now!

You're not ready for a baby because you babysit once in awhile. That theory is almost laughable, sorry.

And yeah, if you want to get pregnant, lots of women get help from their doctor. Go to see your doctor to find out what you need to do, we can't diagnose you on here because everyone is different from a medical point of view. So see what your doctor has to say. Are you afraid to do that?

 
Old 11-11-2006, 02:41 AM   #9
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hobobump HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

Hi

i was pregnant at sixteen and my boy was born when i was seventeen. he is now two and a half. i had him early cause of medical reasons. i am so glad i had him cause now i cant have anymore. at 20 a bit gutting really. i was really scared at first but i wanted children so badly. it has been a struggle with money but me and my partner have worked our butts off to keep us a float. if you really want one, have one but make sure you can handle all the fiancial stuff and this bloke really is the one for you. cause having a baby can put a helva lot of pressure on a relationship.

take care and good luck

 
Old 11-11-2006, 09:06 PM   #10
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BlveInMe89 HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

i remember before i got pregnant when my boyfriend and i would run to the nearest pharmacy get a pregnancy test and wait for the results. on the outside i was telling everyone i hope im not pregnant, im not pregnant, i better not be pregnant. but on the inside i was anxious and somewhat wanted to have a baby, the other half didnt. when the test came back negative i had a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, but then i had somewhat of a sadness to go along with that. almost like a let down. This one day though i went to the pharmacy got the test with my boyfriend with the same feelings as before. part of me wanted to be pregnant the other part no way did i want to be pregnant.. and then it came back positive. Instead of feeling happy, i wasnt. i was scared out of my mind. I think some people think of how it would be like to have a baby and want one. until they actually find out they are. your emotions run wild.. This is a huge decision. one that will effect you for the rest of your life, but if you feel you are ready to commit to another being for the rest of your life then all the best to you. but if you have ANY second doubts wait a bit.. you maybe be happy with the decision.

ur friend blveinme89

 
Old 11-12-2006, 12:44 PM   #11
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klstoneking HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

I will tell you that you are crazy! I got prgnant at 17 also with th ebf of 3 yrs, who i planned to marry. big mistake! i did get married had my daughter at 18 and my future was gone for a while. I lost the chance to go to college, i had a full paid sch. to Auburn. GONE! they didnt have the online thing that they do now. I later got divorced after 2 yrs of a horrible marriage, bc i myslef was a child raising a chile, i lost the best yrs of my life staying home w/a baby. i wouldnt not have her now for the world but just know you should wait until you have a great job marriage and all the things that should be completly stable in your life before you bring someone else into it.

 
Old 11-12-2006, 12:47 PM   #12
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klstoneking HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

p.s my baby was born with CP, and will never walk, sometimes to just have a baby sounds great, but what will you do if its not all its cracked up to be, lord i hope you think about it, i thought my life would be so different and that i would have a healthy baby. i cannot work bc she has therapy now 4 times a week and thats a job! do you know how much babies cost? do you have good insurance? i dont think at your age u can fully understand how being a mother will change your life, especially if this baby will need you for everything, even at age 8 like mine is now.

 
Old 11-13-2006, 05:15 PM   #13
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dewdrop333 HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

Why are you interested in putting the cart before the horse? Why not plan on getting married first .. getting a home then having a family.

Not that I think a marrage at 17 is a best case senario .. but it sure is better than having a child out of wedlock while you are still a child yourself.

I had my daughter (out of wedlock) at 25 and I thought I was still too young! I had been with my then boyfriend 7 years at that point and we had a GREAT relationship .. but guess what .. he LEFT .. HE wanted to go out and party .. HE thought he was missing out on his 20's .. and there you have it .. I was ALONE.

I know you are in love now .. BUT .. if you are going to have a child .. take into consideration how many of us (women) have to do this alone ... can you do that? With what money? Where will you live? How will you give your child what it needs ... do you want to place your child in daycare ... for someone else to raise? While you barely make enough money JUST for day care let along your living expences ...

I understand your want for a baby ... my sugestion .. get a job at a daycare ... go to college .. get married FIRST ...

Just my 2 cents.
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Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of children - The Crow

 
Old 11-13-2006, 07:15 PM   #14
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klstoneking HB User
Re: 17 and wanting a baby

Quote:
Originally Posted by dewdrop333

I know you are in love now .. BUT .. if you are going to have a child .. take into consideration how many of us (women) have to do this alone ... can you do that? With what money? Where will you live? How will you give your child what it needs ... do you want to place your child in daycare ... for someone else to raise? While you barely make enough money JUST for day care let along your living expences ...

I understand your want for a baby ... my sugestion .. get a job at a daycare ... go to college .. get married FIRST ...

Just my 2 cents.

SOOOOO TRUE! after my divorce at 19! i was alone, all alone, no money no job, no experience, no education, NOTHING, except a wonderful baby looking up at me bc she was hungry and i had no plans how i was going to feed her! that was a horrible time! thank god for my mother! thats all i know, i would have never been able to get by without her. im married now with another child and sometimes feel i did miss out, and you will too. I wish i could have seen the world, went to college, heck just been a kid instead of have one. and i wasnt raised to have a baby out of wedlock. i was almost banned from my family. but i thought i knew it all, i have news, wake up!!!!!!!!!!! my daughter cost me atleat 500 a month, not counting all her trips out of state to a childrens hospital, which my x took the car. so i had to find a ride, i dont think you know what kind of fire you are dealing with. this is just my experience and not all are bad, but more bad than the good in teen mothers, you will make your life and a babys life harder than you know, whats the rush youcan have a kid at like 40 now.....lol sorry for all the post, this just really struck a nerve with me, why you would wanna make your life harder, and yes it will be, when the bf is out drinking with buddies and your home with a baby saying omg why did i do this, and on purpose!

 
Old 11-13-2006, 10:36 PM   #15
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Re: 17 and wanting a baby

ugh girl please WAIT! You have plenty of time ahead to be having babies.I had my first child at 18 yes with the father by my side.Having a child at 18 was HARD!My son was born very very colicky hardly stopped screaming and crying until 5 month's old.I was alway's trying thing's to help him feel better and got barely any sleep no exageration at all.Sure your's may not be born colicky but how do you know? also what about other health problem's? Even a perfectly healthy baby is tuff to care for and even with the father by your side and being responsible.I ran into so many unknown thing's with my first child thing's that made me realize eventhough I loved my child with all my heart I should have waited.Found out later (age 5) my son was AD/HD.Girl just really THINK pounder this question.."Am I really REALLY ready to sacrifice and be totally unselfish giving my all to a child from this day for the next 18 years?" Even if you do not ever fathom your b/f leaving you imagine if he did leaving you with raising baby by yourself..are you ready? I just think these are a few thing's to ponder on see what you think......I really believe you should wait really really do!
good luck to you

 
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