It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Pregnancy-Teen Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-16-2007, 04:25 AM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: llanelli
Posts: 5
Amy xx HB User
trying for a baby

hey im 17 and my boyfriends 18 we have been together for 2 years i know that we r still young but we really do feel ready for a baby. We have had unprotected sex for nearly 8 months now with no effect does any one have any tips about the best time of the month to have sex any help will be great thanxs love amy

 
Old 01-16-2007, 10:01 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,348
ASPROUSEY05 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

im really sorry that you think at 17 you are ready for a baby.. no 17 yr old is.. and if the plan it it is just irresponsible!!! if it just "happens" it doesnt mwan you cant handle it.. but its unfair to the child to have children as parents... im sorry i will not give a 17 yr old advice on how to get pregnant... i know what i say wont change your mind because i too was stubborn at 17 yrs old and thought i knew everything, but now that i have bills live on my own and am married i realize how much i knew nothnig about at 17.. you knwo babies are cute, but they dont stay babies forever, god forbid what if your child is born disabled can you handle that emotionally or financially?? these thing happen!!! Do you own a home,pay rent, a car payment, can you afford a 300 a week daycare bill if you have to work? areyou educated? graduate highschool and now in college, bc without college its hard to get a good paying job~ you will stil be young even at 25! anyway i cant express enough how unready someone is at 17, even tho i will not give you tips on gettign pregnant, if you are concerned call your obgyn and tell him youve been havign unprotected sex for almost a yr and see if they wil help you, and if you dont have a regular obgyn then you better get one if you are having sex..

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 01-16-2007, 11:21 AM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: trying for a baby

Wow! You must be very privileged and very lucky (and very rich!) to have enough money to support a baby at age 17!

Myself, I'm 28 years old and my boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We make about $60,000 a year if you combine our incomes, and sure, we are in love and would like to have a baby, but we simply cannot afford it!

Please tell me what you do for a living that you and your boyfriend are able to afford the expense of a child at such a young age?

Is it your parents who said they would provide for this baby? What did your parents think about your decision when you told them?

Otherwise, for help conceiving a child -- if you've tried for that long and you haven't gotten pregnant yet, I'd really suggest talking to your doctor for advice. Make an appointment. Let us know how it goes!

 
Old 01-17-2007, 01:51 AM   #4
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: llanelli
Posts: 5
Amy xx HB User
Re: trying for a baby

hey ive nearly finished me college degree where i will hopefully qualify with 3 Alevels i obviously have no plans to go to university. My boyfriend is on a really good wage and works for his dads business so theres plenty of money there and nope i havent told me parents

 
Old 01-17-2007, 04:54 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 1,348
ASPROUSEY05 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

well by the way you are talking i can tell you are not from america, im guessing there college is our high school and university is what we in america call college.. so ok !!! you still shouldnt consider a baby until you are done with "college" do you still live with your parents? have you ever paid bills on your own? get out in the real world first!! and i read some of your other posts, just a few months ago you were in the same situation but said your bf didnt want a baby because you guys were "way to young!!" he was right then!!! why not go to a university, let both of you have a good job, women should be independent in case anything happens to their boyfriend, or husband... if something happend to him or you guys as a couple you would have no real job experience... !!!! but if you think its a good idea to have a baby when you are a teenager go to an obgyn and see if he would be willing to be do fertility testing, most drs here in the states make you wait a yr of conceiving.. but maybe he will take some general bloodwork and get a semen analyisis from your boyfriend... are you guys ready for all that stuff??? going through that testing can be very hard to deal with .. and if not maybe its a sign that your not ready to have a child.. maybe try babysitting for a while and hang out with those kids.. its cheaper! or work in a daycare..

 
Old 01-17-2007, 04:54 AM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 149
cowgirl18_06 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

your are not ready to have a baby at 17.trust me im 18 and im having a baby thats unplanned.I just got out of highschool last may and I found out I was pregnant in june.I had and still have no job because nobody will hire me.im still living with my parents and even though your boyfriend has a job there's no way that he can support the baby by himself!you dont realize how much money a baby really costs.I dont see why everyone so young has to have a baby right now.what if your boyfriend doesnt stick around?then what are you going to do?you cant raise a child yourself considering you are one.there's so many people out there that cant have children but yet all these 15,16,and 17 year olds are going out and getting pregnant.you have your life ahead of you so dont ruin it now by having a baby.you will miss out on all the things that you want to do before that.I know you wont probably listen to anyone on here but I think everyone is right about what they have said and I think you should think about all of that first before even thinking about getting pregnant.

 
Old 01-17-2007, 11:58 AM   #7
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: St. Paul, Minnesota
Posts: 745
minnesotagirl HB User
Re: trying for a baby

You know, babies and money and responsibilities aside, I think a lot of women feel they want a baby around your age, like 17... BUT LISTEN, when a woman gets to be about 21 years old, things change. Your mind totally changes. I'm not joking. When I was your age I thought it'd be so cool to be a mom and get married and all of that. So I got engaged and was married when I was 20 (after we had been together for four years and I was graduated from college). I thought we'd start a family right away, but oh am I SO GLAD I never got pregnant!!!! I met some new girlfriends and started to go out to bars and clubs, it was SO MUCH FUN! I got asked out by a TON of different guys. By that time, I had been with the same guy for sooooo long and I was totally bored with him! I never thought I'd want anyone else but him, but wow -- it felt so great to be complimented by other guys. And it was so much fun to go out and party with my friends at that age. I felt like I owned the world .. ha - I pretty much did, I could do whatever I want, when I wanted .... WELL, except I was married and my husband didn't really like that much. However, I found a solution: divorce! I was then able to spend the first part of my 20s doing whatever I wanted and having fun and living life. I'm so glad I wasn't tied down to any baby or husband anymore. I was free! I bet that when you get a little older, you'll want to be free, too. Just think about it. Things in life CHANGE. Our wants and needs and desires change. You're not going to want/need/desire the same things you do at age 17 for the rest of your life - it just doesn't work that way. So please don't bring a baby into something that is destined to change. It's not fair to the baby. If you really wanted to be a good parent someday, you'd wait. Deep down, I believe you know it would be better to wait. Otherwise, you'd have told your parents about what you're doing and you would be seeing a fertility doctor. Instead, you're afraid to do both of those things. Listen to that inner voice that is making you afraid.

 
Old 01-17-2007, 01:09 PM   #8
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 349
ament HB User
Re: trying for a baby

I've been with my b/f since I was 17. I'm 24 now and we are still together, but still feel like I would've missed out on a heck of a lot if I would've gotten pregnant before now. You have plenty of child-bearing years left in you, don't feel like you need to get pregnant now.

 
Old 01-17-2007, 01:52 PM   #9
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 413
Unsure_88 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

I'm 18 and pregnant, again...I had a miscarriage about 2 months ago and guess what? I'm 7 weeks pregnant again.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO TAKE CARE OF A BABY. I didn't plan either of them and I did prevent them both times, of course I will love my baby no matter what, and no it don't matter what his wages are, you don't have a clue what you would do if you had an autism baby, or how would you react if your baby was mentally challenged. Or if they had ashtma so bad that the hospital bills were thru the roof, do you think that just because you plan it that you will have a healthy baby?

No matter what happens you will soon say that you could have waited to have a baby. I was wanting to wait the second time and was going to Paris with my husband but the plans changed. We put off everything so we can save for the baby. But its not going to be easy and take this from me, you think its all cute and fun, but will you have fun when your baby is up all night crying and you have no clue what is wrong, do you know a babies reaction to a headache? stomach ache? ear ache? or anything?

I'm so tired right now, I have really bad back pains because I have a back pregnancy (my uterus is towards my back, so its going to be hard on my back) I can't sleep at night because I am up all night feeling like I have to throw up, I have to go to work all the time and its rough. The last pregnancy was a breeze, and that was because the babies (I was pregnant with twins) didn't develop right. But then now it is so bad I feel miserable twenty four seven. I want to sleep during the day because I can't manage to sleep at night but I can't because I work. I have a house to clean and a husband to feed and I have to go to work, not because I have to, but because I love my job more then anything. But I am still a wife and I still need to do everything I can to care for my husband and to make a better home for my baby.

But try raising a baby without your parents being there every second of the day, i say you couldn't do it...because the majority of the time most girls who want a baby think its easy...but guess what? ITS NOT

 
Old 02-01-2007, 10:28 PM   #10
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Pine Bush, NY, USA
Posts: 30
Autumnrain12 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

Why do you think that it would be a good idea to have a child at 17?

I had my first at 22. It was not planned, I did marry the father. And it was the hardest time of my life. At first my friends thought it was cute to have a baby around. But then they wanted to do many things that I could not bring a child along. So slowly they stopped calling me. My husband had a good job then, but got a better one in another state. So we moved away from my family. Then I was really on my own. And you see my husband could still go out to work and go out after work and be around adults all day. But I was with my child all day. It was very hard.
But I try to explain to young teens like you that I was not a teen mom. I was married and my husband had a great job. But at 22 I still had to watch my friends drift away because they got tired of talking about baby issues and marriage issues. They wanted to go hang out at the beach, or the bar and drink, or look for guys.

There is plenty of time to be a mom. But only on chance to be a teen.

Last edited by Autumnrain12; 02-01-2007 at 10:55 PM. Reason: tried to change words

 
Old 02-02-2007, 11:04 PM   #11
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: i live in the united states newyork.
Posts: 82
mommy2brandon24 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

im not a teen mom either im 24 and have a 3 year old and it does get very hard at times. and theres 2 of us me and my fiance sons father. your only 17 you are sooo young still enjoy your friends and finish schooling and see if your boyfriend is still around than than make that decision. everybody on here is telling you about being fianicially ready but you have to be physically and emtionly ready to have a baby and you need lots of patience to raise a baby. are you ready to get up with baby at 2 in the morning and than 4 and 6 in the morning for feedings and diaper changes and are you ready if your baby gets sick at 3 in the morning can you take your baby to the hospital. you get no sleep, you do lose your friends i had like 10 girlfriends before i had my son as soon as i had him now i only have 2 left and thats because they have kids to so they know what im going through. but atleast i know who my real friends are now.than your child gets older and this is where the patience comes in are you ready for tatrums and your child telling you no all the time. if you are ready for all this than good luck. there are good things to about having a baby but only if your really ready for the responsability. and the only reason why im telling you about the bad stuff is because babys are not always cute and if thats why you want to get pregnant than your not ready.

 
Old 02-03-2007, 08:35 PM   #12
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 134
sandra2005 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

hi, listen i was like you, i was with my boyfriend for 3 years and we thought we wanted a baby. i have young friends who have kids and his mother had him young aswell but we werent actually trying and i got pregnant last year. No matter how much i thought i was ready for a baby nothing prepared me for how i felt when i saw the positive pregnancy test. I was happy but then all these other thoughs filled my head like money/a place to live/security/living my life etc. I was so scared as me and my boyfriend had just split up before i realised i was pregnant. After all my thinkning i decided i could have the baby and look after it on my own if need be so after a while i got really happy about the pregnancy and i couldnt wait to have my baby but unfortunatley i miscarried. it was so heartbreaking and even though no matter what age you go through something like that at it will be very upsetting but i was only 19 and it was very hard to deal with. I should have had my baby on the 1st of November 06. Now even though i still think about my baby every day and what could have been i also realise that my miscarriage happened for a reason, i am young and there are other things in my life i need to do before settling down and havin kids.Not to mention all the partys,college,holidays, nights out with the girls etc.
Obviosuley you want to give your child the best of everything and you say your boyfriend wil provide that? well dont you think you should have a backup plan just in case? why not go to college or get a good job and some experience and qualifactions,some security in your life-a house/apartment. move in with your boyfriend see how things go becuase you might find you dont get on all that well living together.
You should go out and have fun with your friends and enjoy your life and get all your partying done before settling down. Maybe the 8 months your trying to concieve is a sign that this isnt the right time for you to have a baby.....

 
Old 02-04-2007, 01:12 AM   #13
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 142
nikki2006 HB User
Re: trying for a baby

Hi Amy..

I think i have a semi different opinion to others that have posted here and i understand there concern for you in hte sence that you are still young but firslty i am going to say that i think there are plenty of older woman out there that are more ill equipt to have children that some 17 year olds! im not saying you are or arent old enuff or capable enuff because i dont know you but i have some things for you to maybe think about..

I had my first child at 21.. i was over the moon to be pregnant but alot of people thought i was too young and only just managed to get my rent in on time letalone pay for the expenses of a child.. I have done a fantastic job, my son is 4 and he is a wodnerful child who i absolutley adore, HOWEVER, i did make it finacially, but it is still hard.. i am a solo parent, my pregnancy wasnt planned and my sons father and i do not live together.. you are possibley thinking that you are in a better position becasue you have your boyfriend.. i think its important you think really carefully about how things COULD go for you.. what if you boyfriend dumps you? i know you think he will always be there BUT marrages break up all the time.. people who have lived together for 10 years break up.. How do you KNOW at the age you are that you are forever going to be with this guy?? i really dont think you can guarentee that.. and if he is the one with the money and you get left with a child HOW are you going to cope money wise? you may think, oh you'll get a job but if you havent finished schooling who will employ you? pizza hutt wont pay enuff for you and your baby and all the household bills.. then there will be childcare bills because you have to but baby into care so you can work..

I know you dont think that can happen.. but if your mature enuff to decide you want a baby then you need to be mature enuff to think about all the possiblities, the things that hopefully wont but CAN happen.. if you love children as much as you say you do you will do what is right for that baby, and if that means waiting, then so be it..

I would not change havign my child for anything in this world but there are definalty things i wish i could of done first.. for example i have no care, im 26 and dont drive because there is no way i could afford the petrol or the registration and things, my money is spent on my sons clothes, savings for his education, b'day pressents for him and the partys he keeps getting invited too! there is no money left for the luxury of a car.. I have never travelled, never been out of my country OR seen all of my country, havent even seen half!.. my friends dont have children and go out alot, i dont, cant.. because my son needs to be in bed early so hes not grumpy the next day...

Please dont feel like this is ALL negative, im sure you will make a wonderfull mum but please please think of all the things you will be able to give your child if you set yourself up with some qualifications and a ffew more life experiances first.. there is so much to do and see out in the big wide world, experiance some of it first, or at least consider really carefully the advice people have given you..

im not so much agaist your age but more your abiltity to see that teh life you have right now and the one that you think you will have forever might not stay that way, and hten where will you be? and will you regret the decision to have a child so young.. maybe you could put it to your bf that if you are still together inyour early 20's you would like to get pregnant.. at which time if you find it hard to conceive you could visit your doctor.. that would give you some time to make some of your other dreams happen and something to work towards interms of what work you could do etc..

sorry this is such a long post.. just feel strongly that kids deserve the best and i know what its like to want something so much that ya dont think about all possiblitltys..

cya amy, take care

 
Old 02-17-2007, 03:47 PM   #14
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Manvel, Texas USA
Posts: 4
lynnandrae HB User
Re: trying for a baby

I got pregnant at 17 with my first baby from my boyfriend (who now happens to be my husband). But since we were dating and I was a junior in highschool and living under my parents roof they made me get an abortion. I am glad my Mom did that because I was not ready for a baby. Sure I was babysitting other peoples kids but it is so much responsibility to have your own kid and not be able to do anything without having to find a babysitter. You and your boyfriend are gonna want to go out and you are gonna have a baby that needs you. I am now 30 years old and still with my husband and we are now having trouble getting pregnant. Plus what happens if your boyfriend leaves you when he finds out you are pregnant? He might be telling you that he is ready for a baby but he may not mean it. I know of a friend of ours nephew who is 17 and his baby is due in March and he is not ready for a baby. He does not have a job and he is hanging around with bad people. He said he was gonna get a job to support the baby but he has not even gotten a job yet. His girlfriend who is 18 has a job but she is on maternity leave and they don't have any money for anything for the baby. And he told us that he did not want to have a baby until he turned 18. I am not gonna give you advice on how to get pregnant because you are still young and have a life to live.

 
Old 02-22-2007, 01:38 AM   #15
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: adelaide, south australia, australia
Posts: 50
aussie_girl HB User
Re: trying for a baby

Ok first of all if you must really understand all the consequences of having a baby so young will be have you thought about EVERYTHING?? I was 17 my bf was 16 and we never had protected sex because we couldnt be 'bothered'. Just after my 18th birthday i found out i was pregnant. Well over here in aussie 18 is legal age for drinking going to clubs etc and so there was my life of fun down the drain before it even started. I hid it from my parents til i was 5 months for fear they would not support me thankfully they did after a while... I suffered depression and all sorts and my bf and i broke up several times during the rest of my pregnancy and so did most of it alone. Come time for baby there were complications i ended up having a c section and am left with an ugly scar on my stomach. after the birth of my son i gradually lost my friends one by one because i couldnt go out with them and everywhere i went baby came too. My life was over before it started. When my son was 16 months old my bf left me for 4 months to go out and party he wanted his teen life back got on drugs drinking out all the time. He did come back but it wasnt the same and 2 months after my sons 2nd birthday we left it at that im still single, since my son was born i can count on one hand the number of times ive had the opportunity to go out and enjoy myself. I have 2 friends left who i see if im lucky a few times a year.... and i barely hear from otherwise only when i initiate the call so are they still "friends". My sons father hardly sees us too busy out enjoying what he didnt have much of and doesnt pay child support. My son is now 3 and it gets depressing being alone. People say to me come out just get your parents to babysit its what they are there for, but in my opinion thats just wrong. If you take on the responsibility of having a child... YOU TAKE IT ON. Life will never be the same again. You need to cover all the bases have all the questions answered and be sure as hell your bf and you too are confident this will work. It is hard work I have a great kid and now i wouldnt change it for the world but he's all im left with. I do regret it i wish i had more time to be 'young' and enjoy life. And i heard someone mention disability they are right... god forbid if it happens to you will you be ready will your bf be ready. its hard enough looking after a good kid and you wont have money to save or put away for something nice. Im not sure what its like where your from but here they have brought in this thing to encourage people to have children by giving a $4000 baby bonus and its wrong. Young girls as young as 14 are now going out and having kids for the wrong reasons just to get this money. So when it comes they get the money and think woohoo lets buy a car etc etc and a few months later realise the bills rolling in and the reality that the money is there strictly for the cost of rasing a child. Majority of them end up single. If this is your case having a child for money is just wrong. they of course brought this in 3 months after i had my son so i missed out . I havent been able to go back to work day care is just too expensive and what i would earn would just go on day care cost alone. Last year i found out i had cancer and from the radiation treatment i had has left me most likely infertile and if by chance i do become pregnant in the future chances are insignificantly increased of having an abnormal child. So in that Im forever grateful i atleast got the chance to experience motherhood and that it the only thing im happy about. 17 is still very young im 21 now and i still find it hard doing the day to day things im exhausted never get a moments peace and have no social life. IF you succeed and are happy to go ahead with your decision i wish you luck and well wishes for it will be a bumpy ride. and noone is ready for the things in life that are thrown at you. Please be sure you are both ready and gain the support of your parents and family. You will need it the whole way.

Good Luck

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
How do you finally just give up trying and stop hurting myinspiration Trying to Conceive (TTC) 3 07-30-2008 01:06 PM
Trying for baby HELP !!! lewis1983 Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) 7 07-01-2008 11:23 PM
Spotting before period since started trying for baby - linked maybe? ChickadeeFromOz Trying to Conceive (TTC) 1 02-13-2006 07:30 AM
trying for a baby no sucess!help! isspro6 Sexual Health - General 5 07-25-2005 08:28 PM
When do you plan on trying for another baby? beanie_1122 Miscarriage & Still Birth 17 06-10-2005 08:26 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (31), Kszan (25), Thisby (18), solofelix (13), writeleft (12), Vanilla Kiss (6), janewhite1 (5), Kali333 (5), CadenceA (4), rosequartz (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (856), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (670), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:06 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!