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Old 01-06-2008, 09:49 PM   #1
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kirsten07 HB User
mom to be and need some advice here

Well i know this is the teen pregnancy board, but it seems like all the posts are questions from kids wondering if they are pregnant or not, not really pregnancy support. But, I guess if theres anyone in my same boat or been in my situation i could use your help/advice. I'm 19 years old and 7mo/31wks pregnant with my son and due beginning of march, two months away. Since about a month or so ago i started getting real anxiety about my pregnancy and how fast my pregnancy is ending and a baby is coming. Especially these past couple weeks, i keep thinking. Can I handle this, Am i even abe to do this? i just graduated from a 5 month beauty school program to liscense in esthetics (skin care), and since i was going 40hrs a weeks i couldnt really work and now that i'm 7 months along no one will wana hire me i dont think so no money is coming in but i had saved some so its helped alot, my mom has really come in a helped me, and i feel real guilty for her having all these expenses, i should be picking up. i guess i'm basically psyching myself out i keep trying to tell myself i'm not the first in this situation and i'll do this but i have alot of anxiety and i can see underlying anxiety about this in my everyday life that manifests. i just need some advice on how i should calm myself down i feel depressed and unsure about how my life is going to work out now and if i'll even be a good mom? any advice here would be helpful thanks.

 
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Old 01-07-2008, 12:44 AM   #2
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Re: mom to be and need some advice here

i am 19 years old as well and just had a baby girl 2 months ago and i thought the same way you are thinking now.
i got really stressed, and being stressed out isnt a good thing for you or the baby. i didnt plan on getting pregnant, it was an accident and when it happened i wasnt sure what i was going to do. i knew i was going to have to get a job and start planning a life for 2 now...but then i got horribly sick. i dropped 20 pounds and was on the couch for almost 4 months unable to do anything,so i couldnt get a job. then that made me even more stressed out thinking how would i be able to care for myself and the baby. and then i thought what if im not a good mom...what if i dont know what to do? i was terrified. so, i went and got help...assistance. i know some people think they could never "stoop so low" but if you really need the help, its there get it. and if your mom is willing to help, take it. because im sure eventually youll be able to pay her back for all shes doing.
and dont worry about the being a good mom thing...because instincts come in and take over. you'll know exactly what your baby needs or wants.
good luck

 
Old 01-07-2008, 03:46 PM   #3
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Re: mom to be and need some advice here

I was a teen mom 30 years ago, but I think the feelings are the same now as they were then. Both your concerns are absolutely normal. The fact that you are worried makes me believe you will be great moms. Its the girls who assume someone else will take care of everything that scare me. No new mom regardless of her age knows everything and we ALL have days when we feel like we are the biggest failures, but that's what being a parent is. Get used to that.lol- The key is to ask for help. No one raises a child totally alone. We all ask for help from time to time. Try to relax and just do your best. And remember that staying calm will help the baby be calm and relaxed. Stressed mom.. stressed baby. Best wishes to you both.

 
Old 01-10-2008, 07:42 AM   #4
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Re: mom to be and need some advice here

I was a teen mom also... The best advice I could give is to not get stressed.. thats the worst thing, But the moment you hold your new baby you will understand that you will make it, it might be hard, but the love that you have for that little person growing inside of you is crazy lol the first couple nights and days at home with your baby are great and every moment that you can spend with your new baby do it because they are only sweet for a litle while. then they turn 2 and you want to put them back where they came from.. I have 4 kids there are days that i feel like i am a bad mom but when that little kid comes up to you and says mommy or looks at you and smiles you know that your doing something right. it will come to you, you might not feel like it is ever going to but it will. Lots of luck to you....

 
Old 01-10-2008, 02:47 PM   #5
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Brooke85 HB User
Re: mom to be and need some advice here

I was 19 when I had my daughter and had the same thoughts as you did. I just finished dental assisting school & was working for an Orthodontist & didn't have much money. I did get help from the state for my medical expenses since my employer didn't offer it. If you need the help, please don't be afraid to take it. That's what it's there for is for people like you to get on their feet. You definitely sound motivated, not lazy, so if you need the help while your son is small then it's a great idea until he is old enough for you to go back to work. You could also check into WIC if you haven't already...they offer tons of support/advice & you can get checks for basic necessary groceries like milk, cheese, eggs, etc. & when your son is born if you choose not to nurse they will help you with Formula as well. Before you know it, you will be back at work and the money will start coming back in

Anyways...about having the baby. I was terrified about caring for a newborn since I knew nothing about it. I assure you though, once you have that baby it will come naturally to you. I stayed in the hospital and just watched the nurses and when I got home all I did for a month was nurse & change poopy diapers it seemed like! The rest of the time she just slept You may struggle at first, but I promise you will learn things your own way & what works. It sounds like your mom will also be there if you need help with it.

I am 22 & pregnant with my 2nd and am even a little nervous, even though I know what to expect. I'm not terrified this time, more scared about how my daughter will take having a new baby in the house. You are due right around me so looks like our babies will have very close bdays Hope you're feeling well!

 
Old 01-21-2008, 09:20 AM   #6
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BuiltToLast HB User
Re: mom to be and need some advice here

Hi, and here is a little bit of a different prospective coming from a guy. I am 20 now and when my beautiful daughter was born I was 19. During the whole pregnancy I kept wondering, are we going to be able to make it, will we have enough money, can we provide her with everything she will need, or want in the future. I just graduated from high school, she was still in highschool but graduated too. So I did the only thing I could, get a full time job. So I did, and even then I was nervous, I was scared but on April 6, 2007 the most gorgeous baby I've ever laid my eyes on was born and she was a BEAST! 10 pounds 7 ounces 22 1/2 inches! VAGINAL BIRTH! I was in the room holding her legs counting with her, breathing with her! It was fun/scary. But you know what all those feelings you have are normal, but now my g/f is in college, and I plan to go when she finishes cause I need to maintain the weekly income. The only person who's been supportive of my situation is my father other than him no one has helped us out, and were doing just fine I buy all the wipes, diapers, formula, food, bottles, etc.. and my g/f goes to school and watches the baby. We share responsibilities like getting up together to take care of Isabella, change her diaper, feed her early in the morning, to avoid fights, and bickering. TRUST ME, this baby when it enters this world, is going to depend on YOU no one else but YOU and DADDY. And when you see this child you will do ANYTHING IN YOUR POWER to see this child prosper in life, and never go without. That will be your new job.

Good luck & Congrats.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 01-21-2008 at 08:37 PM. Reason: Disallowed topic.

 
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