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Old 07-24-2008, 09:02 AM   #1
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I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

Me and my girlfriend have had sex a total of 3 times. Before we started dating neither of us were very experience sexually.

The first time (on the 10th of this month) was painful for her and only lasted a couple minutes. I pulled out way before I ejaculated, I'm not sure if your able to actually finish while still inside the girl with a condom on, but to be sure I pulled out first. Probably 20 minutes after sex she started to bleed a lot on her way home.

The second time (on the 19th of this month) it didn't hurt and she didn't bleed. We had a little trouble getting it in, but I never felt the condom rip. I'm actually not sure if you are able to feel it break or what. But again, to be safe I pulled out before finishing. This time was a bit of a close call though. I felt it coming, and I thought I might have finished while inside her, but immediately I pulled out and then I swear I saw it all come out right then (which wasn't very much).

The third time , which was yesterday (the 23rd), there was no pain, but half-way through she started to bleed. Needless to say, we never finished. I thought it was her period starting, she said no. After we both cleaned up she then tells me it was her period. This morning I get a very worried call from her asking me to get online (i guess shes more comfortable talking about this kind of stuff online). After I get on she tells me it wasn't her period. There wasn't a single drop of blood on her tampon. So I start freaking out thinking she's pregnant. She says she's positive shes not but isn't very convincing since she says she'll be 100% sure once she's had her period. Which she says usually happens the last week of every month. I'm still really paranoid, and wondering if maybe some did escape the condom and I never knew it. Even though I'm sure I pulled out before I ejaculated, it was still a close call which is enough to put doubts in my mind.

She's worried about why she would bleed, she thought she was done with the bleeding. I'm worried about that 2nd time we had sex, and how close it was. Again, I'm almost sure I pulled out before hand, but it felt like something happened while I was still inside her.

She has too much going for her to get pregnant. I have too much to loose if she's pregnant. Neither of us can afford to have a kid. There has to be some reassurance she's not pregnant.

 
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Old 07-24-2008, 09:12 AM   #2
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

It is okay to ejaculate inside of her if you are wearing a condom, that's why you wear it. After, just hold onto the condom as you pull out so it doesn't fall off inside her, and then check the condom for leaks. If the condom it does break, go to a pharmacy and get plan B within 24 hours.

So long as your condom never tears, and you wear one every time, pregnancy is very unlikely.

Since you wore a condom and pulled out, it is extremely unlikely she'd get pregnant.

About the bleeding: A little blood the first few times is pretty common. It could be her hymen tearing, or it could be she got rubbed a little raw. Try using lubricant (a real sexual lubricant from the drugstore, no vaseline or anything!) and more foreplay. Maybe you two should just avoid intercourse entirely for a while longer, because clearly even a small possibility of pregnancy is very stressful to you.

 
Old 07-24-2008, 09:39 AM   #3
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

Are tears hard to see or even tell if they're there? After that 2nd time nothing leaked out, and when I took it off I was turned away from her. I also wasn't near any water, so I couldn't fill it up and see if water leaked anywhere.

I'm just wondering what it was where I felt like I did ejaculate when I was still inside her? Even though I'm almost positive I didn't finish till I pulled out.

As for the period thing. If she does miss her period this month, should I freak out? I've heard girls can sometimes miss their period for no apparent reason, even if they're not having sex. How would I know if we truly need to worry?

 
Old 07-24-2008, 11:10 AM   #4
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

Girls do sometimes miss a period for little to no reason. Ironically, worry about being pregnant and the hormonal changes brought on by becoming sexually active can cause late periods all by itself.

If she misses two periods in a row, worry then.

 
Old 07-24-2008, 01:05 PM   #5
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

So if it takes two periods in a row to start worrying, is that how long it would take to find out someones pregnant without taking a test?

She doesn't seem to be worried at all, but I'm sitting here making myself sick. I think I have some sort of anxiety disorder and I can't say that I'll be completely relieved until she has her period. I just wish there was some way of knowing without taking a test or waiting for a period.

I don't know how much it matters, I wouldn't think a lot. But that 2nd time we had sex, the condom was on all the way and tight like it should be, but a little more than half-way down the shaft the condom kinda bunched up a little before it continued like normal. Would that have any effect on its usefulness? The seamen didn't get anywhere near the shaft part, and pretty much stayed in the tip.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 07-24-2008 at 08:56 PM. Reason: Disallowed topic.

 
Old 07-24-2008, 01:40 PM   #6
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

By what you have described it sounds VERY doubtful that she is pregnant.

I agree with the other poster that it could have been her hymen tearing, lack of lubricant or a period that would cause the minimal to moderate bleeding.

I would like to note that although it sounds like you are being very careful about entering the sexually active world, I would recommend waiting a bit longer before having sex again so you both can vocalize your thoughts and fears in regards to the what-if's with pregnancy and the complexities of this new adult stage of your relationship. If you read through many of these posts on here, you will see that the majority of the subject matter is teens that are already pregnant and how their lives are changing. We always support them in their journey, but I think it is also helpful to know that others are going through exactly what you are trying to avoid.

This community is so great that we can all learn from each other and I would hope you would seriously think about how ready you are to commit to all the risks associated with being sexually active-- given your level of anxiety with your first few experiences.

Wishing you the best,
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Old 07-24-2008, 01:52 PM   #7
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

I understand why you are afraid. This is something that has the power to change your life, and you have even less knowledge and control than she does. However, I think that your worry is misplaced. The probability of her being pregnant from what you've already done is extremely small. At a guess, about the same size as the probability of me getting run over by a car walking to work tomorrow.

I agree with nyxin. If you are having sex, there is no way to completely eliminate the risk of pregnancy, and it really doesn't sound like you're ready to accept that risk. Trust me, there are other ways to enjoy intimacy. (Just make sure you take STD precautions, too, because you can spread STD's through some forms of contact that don't include intercourse!)

 
Old 07-24-2008, 02:50 PM   #8
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

There's a couple more questions that still haven't been answered.

If the condom breaks, will I be able to tell? Is it possible that the tear can be so small that I wouldn't notice? Whats the best way to tell if its been broken, and what should you do if you notice its broken only after sex? And what about the condom being bunched up on one section, does that really matter?

The last time she had her period was sometime between the 26th and 30th of last month. Is her body really on that precise of a schedule to where she'd have this months period between the 26th and the 30th/31st?

 
Old 07-24-2008, 05:25 PM   #9
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

Is her schedule that precise? No idea, some women run on time like German trains, some like me are give or take 20 days.

Condom being bunched up is ok.

Usually if a condom rips it rips big. You can check for pinholes by inflating with water afterwards.

 
Old 07-25-2008, 07:28 AM   #10
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giant_Squid View Post
So if it takes two periods in a row to start worrying, is that how long it would take to find out someones pregnant without taking a test?
No, typically it only takes one missed period. Typical pregnancy tests should work as soon as the first period is late. It is not a good idea to wait a second month once she is late, waiting a whole month for a second period is wasting valuable time. It is important to know as soon as possible. If you are going to 'wait and see' without taking a test, it could take months before the symptoms start.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giant_Squid View Post
If the condom breaks, will I be able to tell?
It usually isn't noticeable during intercourse, but is very obvious when you pull out. If there is a pin-hole leak, then you'd have to test it with water afterwards.

 
Old 07-25-2008, 05:37 PM   #11
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

Dear Giant Squid; I think its commendable that you are so distraught over this, you haven't said much about this girl, Do you love her? Are you just friends? Either way, you are having sooo much anxiety, that if you are close enough to have sex, couldn't you go out and buy her an EPT (early pregnancy test) at the drug store, she pees on it, and it may put you at ease.... as long as its negative.... Why not ask? If her periods due the end of the month, it should be accurate. One more thing, keep an eye on your anxiety level in general, not for just this.....this issue is of course, understandable... but if you find yourself in a frenzy about other things, you may want to mention it to your doc...Anyway, buy the test, yes, now. Good luck! Sherbear38

 
Old 07-25-2008, 10:34 PM   #12
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Re: I'm freaking out I got her pregnant, she's only sorta worried.

This girl is my girlfriend, and while I'm not sure if I'm ready to say i love you, there is a great amount of care in our relationship.

I don't know how she would react if I bought her a pregnancy test. She would probably just tell me im being ridiculous. I did ask her if she thought she might be pregnant and she said she was positive she's not. I guess what really got me worried in the first place was finding out that blood wasn't period blood. So then I started worrying thinking "oh great, shes going to miss her period, and I'm going to have a kid on my hands and I'm going to screw my life up forever and I'll end up working at a JiffyLube". When I asked her again if she was positive she wasn't pregnant she said yes but lets not talk about it because I'll start to make her doubt herself, which of course got me even more paranoid.

There might be a bit of light at the end of the tunnel though. I was talking to her last night and mentioned something about how we probably ate more food than some people see in a year (we went to eat earlier) and she started crying. She told me it came out of no where and that she might be starting her period soon. She said when she PMS's she cries a lot, sometimes all day over silly things. But I have a feeling this last week of the month is going to be nerve wracking for me, I'm just going to be sitting here wondering when she'll start her period.

 
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