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Old 02-26-2002, 11:07 PM   #16
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Purrbaby HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

I am sorry if my ideas seem old fashioned or impracticle but I have many friends who have done the same thing. I guess since I had the support of people who weren't intrested in having sex it was easier on me. Plus, my mother had to abandon a lot of her dreams b/c of her children. I always swore I would never throw my life away like that. I was hard headed and driven like any other teenager but I guess I had a good support system of friends. I had many times I could and wanted to be sexually active but I know it wasn't best. Maybe my ideas seem unreal and crazy to ya'll but many people have done the same thing. I guess it is better to be completely protected if you insist on having sex. In the 15 year olds case..I truely hope you are not preg. b/c life with a baby is HARD. Even for those who chose to get preg. And I wasn't saying all babies from young mothers are that small. These babies I was talking about were full term and premature(some of both). Sure it can happen to anyone but there is more of a chance that it will happen to an underdeveloped teenager. You would be considered high risk at your age. But hopefully you aren't preg. for your sake.

------------------
Smile, life doesn't last that long.

 
Old 02-27-2002, 06:16 PM   #17
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Katbabe1987 HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Excuse me Molly but I don't appreciate your smarta** tones and the way your talkin' to me I didn't ask for your rude remarks and I don't appreciate them at all...I was basicly saying that when a girl is askin' for some advice you shouldn't be sayin crap that's gonna scare them or make them worry more because it doesn't HELP THEM AT ALL. So I've got some advice for you: why don't you leave me the hell alone and quit responding to my questions if you're only gonna make things worse? How bout that? And Purrbaby I wasn't directing that to you, I was directing it to my nice friend here, Molly. Well thanks anyway for the advice everybody else but Molly, kiss my a**..

 
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Old 02-27-2002, 09:16 PM   #18
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Molly M HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

I'm sorry if I offended you Katebabe, but I wasn't trying to use smartass tones. I never meant to hurt your feelings. I'm not sure I understand what your initial questions were. If you read my first reply, you will see that of all the people who responded to you, I was the only one who actually stuck up for you. And I answered your questions about the physical aspects of it as best as I could. It just sounds like you are worried, and if you are pregnant, maybe you should go see a counselor and/or doctor to find out what your options are. Of course I don't know what your life is like, whether you are permiscuous or not. The only reason I came down hard on you is because you sounded like you were starting to get defensive. When people get defensive, they are not listening. But then again, you never asked for advice in the first place did you. Like I said, you have a very slim chance of being pregnant. If you were a 15 year old girl who was pregnant and asking advice, I think our replies would have been different. It's just that we want you to stop it before it happens. If you are pregnant you will be ok. Just remember that there are people out there who can help you. And you can finish school and make a life for yourself. It might take a while longer, or a lot of estra help, but you can do it. And remember to take very good care of yourself.
Once again, I'm really sorry if my last reply was too harsh. It's just that to most of us "older" women, 15 is so young, and we don't want to see a young lady give up her dreams and goals because of a baby that could have been prevented. You said you would achieve your goals no matter what, and that's a good attitude. But the truth is, a baby changes your life forever, no matter what your age. Not all in bad ways though.
I know you asked that I not reply to your posts, but I had to let you know that I really am not trying to make things worse. I really am a nice person. I think you have a strong will, and you will do fine whether you are or are not pregnant. Of course if you are it won't be easy, and you know that, but you will be able to handle it. You will have to.

Good luck Katebabe, and please accept my apology.

------------------
Molly H.

 
Old 02-27-2002, 09:39 PM   #19
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Katbabe1987 HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

hey im really sorry 2! i didnt mean all that and i apologize im just scared...i feel bad i went off like that....if u will and know the answer please answer this ?...does ur stomach swell or get just a tiny bit bigger like maybe stick out when your preg.? i know if i am pregnant its only been 2 weeks, but my friend says my stomach looks like its sticking out a lil more than usual and ive noticed it too...ive had stomach pain to in my lower abdomen...so did ur stomach swell or look a lil bit plumper than normal? im so sorry i cussed at u i had no right 2! i appreciate ur help and ur last reply...of course i listen to your replies, and i dont wanna hear a specific thing...i just think some of the things u wrote could've been left out cause they just added more stress...including everyone else who wrote something negative...please write back and i forgive u please forgive me! ~Kat

 
Old 02-28-2002, 02:22 AM   #20
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GinnyW HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

I promise you would not being having symptoms 2 days after having sex!!
do you know the basics of baby making? i mean that say you were ovulating, when a man ejaculates in you the sperm can survive in there for 2-3 days and it may take that long for them to fertilize the egg.
so in all reality if you were pg the egg may just now be fertilized and not even implanting yet.
so I wouldn't worry about it, wait till next month and worry if you get no period!

 
Old 02-28-2002, 06:11 AM   #21
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hillarynotclinton HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Methinks the moderator will soon get ahold of this thread!lol

 
Old 02-28-2002, 08:30 AM   #22
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Molly M HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Katebabe, thanks for your apology. I never want to hurt someone's feelings, and I can see that I did. I've been very hormonal because of this pregnancy, and going through some struggles with my husband lately.
Anyway, I really don't think your stomach would be sticking out yet. Is there a possibility you could be pregnant from sometime before? Condoms don't always hold up, and if you had any sex without a condom, even if he didn't ejaculate, you could have gotten pregnant from what is called pre-***. Some women get their period even when they are pregnant. I don't understand why, or how, but it's true. If I were you, I'd go buy a test, they are not that expensive - you can find one for under 10 bucks (sometimes even two). You don't have to tell anyone. When I was your age, I had to get blood tests to see if I was pregnant, and my mom was always there. If you don't have the money, borrow it from someone. It's important you find out right away because if you are pregnant and you want to have the baby you need to start prenatal care right away. The early weeks are crucial to a baby's development because all the main organs are forming. Your last post sounded like maybe you are pregnant from a while ago. Women who are very thin usually start to get a belly sooner that average or overweight women. Are you extrememly thin? Anyway, take a test right away. Your symptoms sound like it could be pregnancy. But then again, you have Mono, and it could be affecting you in a different way than usual. Good luck, Katebabe. Let us know how it goes. I hope you are not pregnant, but like I said, there are options for you and if you choose to have the baby, you will be ok.

------------------
Molly H.

 
Old 02-28-2002, 02:59 PM   #23
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Katbabe1987 HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Hey thanks yeah I am pretty thin I'm not like tiny but I'm pretty thin...and I had sex with a person before the last person about a month and a half ago and I was sorta worried bout bein pregnant with him cause I didn't get any PMS and I always get acne, cramps, and sore boobs before I start and I didn't get any of that...this sh*t sucks cause now that I think bout it it could possibly be his if I am pregnant because my stomach would be stickin out just a lil bit maybe if I was pregnant before the last guy...well write back talk 2 ya later

 
Old 02-28-2002, 03:13 PM   #24
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AngeliqueM HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Kat,

I know what you mean by how people talk to you different when you reveled your age, I saw it also.
Everyones choice to have sex, is their own, they do it for thier own personal reasons, sometimes not on thier own free will.
I can't say that I know what it's like to wonder at 15 if I was pregnant or not, I think I worried all throughout my life if I was pregnant, with out having sex, I know it sounds funny! lol
I had sex for the first time on my 19th birthday, and on Saturday I'll be 21. I remember going to the Health department and getting tested for everything because my partner had been with a lot of people, and I thought he had cheated on me, I remember the nurse telling me that since I don't use protection now, that I would be pregnant with in a year, that scared me. I know you use protection, and that does tell a lot, you are mature, because some think, it won't happen if we don't use it just once or twice, but it will. And your right, at least you use protection.

As far as your question in your post, I'm not sure, I would say your chances are slim, but who knows. I got pregnant and my dh was supposed to be sterile, with doctors paperwork to prove it. Your symptoms sound like mine did when I was pregnant, my cramps were lower cramps, not like aunt flow cramps, but different, at first I thought I had a UTI, turns out I was pregnant. I had cramps for about two weeks and was just waiting for my friend to arrive, but nope. I'm not sure when I noticed symptoms..
If you do think you are pregnant, make sure that you are eating healthy and make sure you don't do anything that may harm your baby, because the first several weeks are the most important.
If your not, consider going on the pill or the shot,until you want to have a baby.

If you think it could be someone else's, if you are pregnant, go to the doctors, just to make sure, and if you are, she should be able to tell you how far along you are, and hopefully u should know when she tells you.

Good luck and keep us posted!! Just think postitive and don't stress about it.
~Angie
EDD 8/23

 
Old 02-28-2002, 04:09 PM   #25
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Molly M HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Katebabe, please go get a test now. It sounds like you could be pregnant from the last guy. Did you have some problem with the birth control with him too? I'm just wondering why you were concerned about that time.
Are your parents available to talk to about this? It really might help you, although I don't know a thing about them. I really hope everything turns out ok.

------------------
Molly H.

 
Old 02-28-2002, 07:57 PM   #26
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Katbabe1987 HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Hey Angie and Molly thanks....I wish I'd never had sex now I'm really scared...If I am pregnant, I won't be able to tell my parents because the guy is black, and they don't approve of that (they don't even let me date them no tellin' what they'll do if I'm pregnant by a black guy) and HE'S 18. I already know adoption and abortion is out of the question...I don't believe in abortion and I'd want to keep my baby...But I'm telling you my parents will literally kill me..they'll be so mad at me and I don't know if they'd love the baby since it will be mixed if I am pregnant...I'm beginning to think I really am, too...there are too many symptoms...also I've found I'm a lot more hungry lately..as soon as I'm done eating something I go grab something else I never seem to get full. I also have been peeing frequently (believe me this isn't my imagination or anything)...and I could be having all these symptoms since if it was the 18 year old who I may be pregnant with, I'll be one month and 2 weeks pregnant. God this is scary....I'm so scared...I'm thinking positive...in fact the only thing scaring me is the fact he's 18 (could he get jail time?) and the fact that I have no clue how my parents would react! I gotta go though write back!

 
Old 02-28-2002, 07:58 PM   #27
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Katbabe1987 HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Hey Angie and Molly thanks....I wish I'd never had sex now I'm really scared...If I am pregnant, I won't be able to tell my parents because the guy is black, and they don't approve of that (they don't even let me date them no tellin' what they'll do if I'm pregnant by a black guy) and HE'S 18. I already know adoption and abortion is out of the question...I don't believe in abortion and I'd want to keep my baby...But I'm telling you my parents will literally kill me..they'll be so mad at me and I don't know if they'd love the baby since it will be mixed if I am pregnant...I'm beginning to think I really am, too...there are too many symptoms...also I've found I'm a lot more hungry lately..as soon as I'm done eating something I go grab something else I never seem to get full. I also have been peeing frequently (believe me this isn't my imagination or anything)...and I could be having all these symptoms since if it was the 18 year old who I may be pregnant with, I'll be one month and 2 weeks pregnant. God this is scary....I'm so scared...I'm thinking positive...in fact the only thing scaring me is the fact he's 18 (could he get jail time?) and the fact that I have no clue how my parents would react! I gotta go though write back!

 
Old 02-28-2002, 08:01 PM   #28
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Katbabe1987 HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

sorry bout the double post!

 
Old 02-28-2002, 08:37 PM   #29
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Purrbaby HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

I'm pretty sure the guy could get jail time. You are still a minor. Here in MS if you are 16 the guy wouldn't get it if he was 18. There is some 2 year difference law. But your parents could chose to persue him and yes he could get jail time...even if you say you agreed to having sex with him. One thing to tell your parents if they try to persue him is you can't get child support from someone in jail. Maybe that will keep them away..maybe not. As ya'll can see I'm from the South and my parents are extremely ummm southern(??)! They would murder me. I know it's not right..but some people are just like that. I know telling your parents can be scary. I was scared and I was MARRIED!! But telling your parents is the best thing for you to do. If you are honest from the begining they will respect that. They may hit the roof at first but they will come around. Your parents love you(I'm sure..even thought they act like they don't at times) and they will want to help you in any way. There is the chance they might want to try to talk you into abortion or adoption but make that choice for yourself. Perhaps we are getting ahead of ourselves here....you need to get a preg. test and then decide what happens from there. Maybe if you are lucky you aren't. I can tell you are scared and I really feel bad for you b/c one of my sisters is 15..she'll be 16 in July. If this happen to her my parents would flip! But I know no matter what I would be there for her even though she lives in NC and I live in MS. Perhaps if you are close to your older sister she could help you and give you support. Maybe she can help you get the test and go to the doc if necessary. Plus, it might help to have her there when you have your parents. I am 19..I remember you said your sister was...and I think that from someone her age she would want to help her "baby" sister. HAHA! Don't you hate when people call you that?? My sis does!! Seriously, take a test and then go from there.

------------------
Smile, life doesn't last that long.

 
Old 03-01-2002, 10:33 AM   #30
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Molly M HB User
Re: Possible pregnancy? Please read.

Katebabe, you really really need to get a test done. You are starting to panic over issues that are not real yet. I know it's easy to do. But relax and breathe.

This might be a touchy issue for you, but I'm wondering why you are opposed to giving the baby up for adoption. I was adopted at birth, and I was raised in a very loving family with two parents who deeply cared for me as if I was their own. Well, I was. It might seem like a horrible thing to do, but if you can't give the baby the life it deserves, with a family who loves it (I'm not saying you, but your surrounding family), then just know that there are numerous couples out there dying to adopt babies - people who can't have babies on their own who will do anything to have a baby. And you can have a say about who you want to adopt your baby too. And there are open adoptions now where you can see how your baby is growing etc. That's a whole other story. What I'm trying to say is don't give up any of your options if you are indeed pregnant. Giving up a baby for the baby's sake is the most selfless act someone can do. It is also much more tolerated in society nowdays. When I was born it was really quite secretive.

I'm so sorry it will be so hard to go to your parents. I'm sure even if they act like you've betrayed them, which many parents will do, they will still love you. It might take a lot of time for them to come around, but it's not an easy issue for anyone. Give them time. And if there's anyone else who you are close to, like your sister, or an aunt or someone, go to them for help too.

As for the 18 year old guy you slept with who might be the father, I don't know what will happen. He knew what he was doing having sex with you, and unless he's totally out there, he knows that having sex with a minor is against the law and could get jail time. The only thing is, did he know you were a minor? Did you tell him, or did you lie to him about your age? That might make a bit of difference in a court of law, but I don't know. That's something I don't know anything about.

Oh, Katebabe, I wish there was someone who could help you right now. Please go get a test right away. It will give you an answer at least.



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Molly H.

 
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