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Old 12-01-2003, 06:07 PM   #1
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I need advice!

First, I probably should give a little background.. I'm a 19year old college student pregnant with her first child (and extremely excited considering the circumstances) The father of the child is someone who I am completely in love with, we've been together 2 years and it had always been a wonderful relationship. Very recently he told me of drug addictions he's had since well before he met me, (I am sober 100% of the time) and for all intensive purposes we've split, though we still have contact, phone calls every week or so. I believe that it would be the best decision for both the child and I if I were to give it up for adoption, but I'm afraid that he will not let me.. Are there any adoption laws that would allow me to put the child up for adoption regardless of the father's wishes? It would NOT be in the best interest to be with the father but worse-case scenario, he involves his MOTHER and she tries to get custody, how would the courts go? Does anyone have similar stories?

 
Old 12-01-2003, 07:34 PM   #2
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Re: I need advice!

Your best bet is to either try to find an adoption agency near you or go to a Planned Parenthood and ask them for info regarding adoptions. PP shoudl be able to help you find places that work out adoptions and then you can find out from them the laws regarding the father's rights and so on.
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Old 12-02-2003, 09:32 AM   #3
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Re: I need advice!

You can look up his rights on the computer too. I don't think i can post a link but do search like Biological Fathers' Rights in Adoption and you can read about it .As for his parents i know for a fact if you did keep the baby or wanted to give it up and the father wanted to fight for the baby but he is not fit to be a father his parents can fight for him and then if he gets cleaned up they can sign the baby over to him. This happen to my brother with his wife because she was unfit and her mom was fighting for the baby in court. I hope everything works out for you and your baby. Take care .

 
Old 12-02-2003, 09:47 PM   #4
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Re: I need advice!

Thank you so much for your advice, I'm definetly looking into it.. but I think my best bet is praying he doesn't want involvement. Biological father's rights are on the rise and more people are taking them into account.

I do have another question though, pregnancy related, I feel hungry all the time, but the thought of food make me sick, is this normal? Will it pass? Thanks!
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Old 12-03-2003, 08:14 AM   #5
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Re: I need advice!

Yes thats normal because im like that i wake up very hungry and then i look at food and it makes me sick. Just make sure you make yourself eat at some point and take vitamins. take care

 
Old 12-03-2003, 08:42 AM   #6
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Re: I need advice!

Sounds like your best bet is to discuss it with the father when the time is right. If you can convince him of your decision, maybe he will support the decision and sign away his rights. Hope it works out for you - You sound like a very considerate and caring person. It's very difficult to make a decision such as this.

 
Old 12-07-2003, 12:59 PM   #7
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Re: I need advice!

I have now talked with the father, he says that if I choose to have this baby he will not let me give it up for adoption. He would prefer to see an abortion before an adoption. He is willing to help raise this child and provide emotional/financial support to both of us but that doesn't change the fact that we're both 19 and not ready to raise a child! Has anyone been in this situation? young, pregnant and unmarried? Please help me! I want to keep this child and raise it with the family but I don't even know how to start. I'd love a similar story.. happy or sad endings I just need to figure out what is best.
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Old 12-18-2003, 02:51 PM   #8
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Re: I need advice!

Okay I did a little research and found that unless both parents relinquish their rights to the child a baby may not be legally adopted. It may be different depending on which state you live in, but according to these ones that is the news. How many cases have been overturned due to the father not giving his consent for an adoption. Sadly families that have waited for a long time to have a child then get that child taken away from them because it legally belongs to the father. Good luck with what you choose. Have you considered discussing with your bf of getting help, maybe this is what he needs to go straight. Good Luck kk

 
Old 12-18-2003, 03:10 PM   #9
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Re: I need advice!

Yes, what ever you do please make sure that the baby is being taken care of inside of you. And please do not stress too much over the situation because it is not good for you or your little bunddle of joy.

 
Old 12-21-2003, 10:43 AM   #10
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Re: I need advice!



i'm 20 and currently 15 wks preg.....i'm not married and i'm just as scared to have to raise a baby at such a young age. but all in all i look at it as everything happens for a reason. i think, and please don't be offended, that if the father is willing to take care of his child, then you should let him. this could change his life for the better. maybe now he has a reason to stop doing what he's doing. i can understand that you want what's best for your child, but if a child can get the love froman adopted family or it's paternal family, then either way, the child is being cared for. it seems to be a deeper issue to why you don't what him to have anything to do with the baby? is it that you don't what him to have the baby around you after birth?

well, i hope eveything works out for you and your child. happy holidays!!!

 
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