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Old 07-31-2004, 04:28 PM   #1
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PrncsButerkup80 HB User
The Battle of my life

I was pregnant last spring and I misscarried...it was aweful... I didnt want to breathe...I may be pregnant again...may not...I have thyroid issues so the symptoms are crossed...I have no support what so ever with the male counterpart... he hates me and wants nothing to do with me no matter what I try...I love him a lot but I dont think he really cares about me...I have already been going through so much...I am emtionally exhausted... I cant eat or sleep...but I am afraid to tell him the time because he is so cold...should I try to work things out and keep him informed or should I handle things without him and let my friends help me...I am suffering thru the battle of my life...please help

 
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Old 07-31-2004, 04:39 PM   #2
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BarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB User
Re: The Battle of my life

Bless your heart.

What an awful situation. It must feel like your options are limited, but the one you've hit on - having friends help you - is sadly short-sighted. Your cold hearted male counterpart will be likely to become more difficult when you're obviously pregnant and worse after the baby is born.

No judgement here, but why stay with someone who hates you? Life doesn't have to be like this. You deserve to be happy and you do NOT deserve to be treated badly.

Wishing you well - Barbara

 
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Old 07-31-2004, 04:40 PM   #3
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Re: The Battle of my life

While I don't think it's a bad idea to have a plan in case you are pregnant, I think it's best to verify that you ARE pregnant before you worry yourself sick. What sorts of symptoms are you having? How long ago do you think you got pregnant? If it's been about 10 or more days, you can probably go to the doctor and get a blood pregnancy test and know for sure.

If the father is unsupportive, then you don;t need to have him around. This will be a tough enough time for you, and you don't need someone who will just hurt you. I don't know your age or situation, but perhaps family can help you out? Or maybe Planned Parenthood can suggest some resources to you?

I know it's easy to say "get rid of him" but I'm sure breaking it off will be hard. Try to use your family and friends as a support system. Good luck, and please let us know.

PS I also suffered a miscarriage in the spring, and even though it was VERY early on, I am still hurting from it. This is a good place to come for support.

 
Old 07-31-2004, 05:47 PM   #4
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nyxin HB Usernyxin HB Usernyxin HB User
Re: The Battle of my life

i too had a m/c in march and am now pg again. i do have a supportive husband, but before i was married to him, i was in an awful relationship. i know what it feels like to just be a human blow-up doll.

for some reason women think that they must have a man in their life to function. that is simply not true. if you are pg then i suggest getting out of the relationship so you can heal yourself and nurture the growing baby inside you. the good thing about that is you can teach the baby of unconditional love and he/she never need see a hostile male father figure.

if you are not pg may i suggest you get out of the relationship NOW. i thought that the man i was with would not be able to make it without me, even though he lied, cheated, drank himself into a stupor night after night and ran up a $30,000 credit card bill for me. every time i got the courage to send him packing he would turn into a sobbing 2 year old. i finally got to the point that i knew i wanted a family and he simply could NOT be the man that i needed and deserved. it took 3 years to figure that out.

i felt so lost when we finally parted (mostly because he would call me at all hours drunk weaping that he was going to die without me) but i somehow got the strength and kept going on MY path. i am sure that he called so upset because his cash cow/blow up doll was gone, not that he actually missed the person that i am.

i met my DH 2 months later (on the internet ) and we were married 2 months after that. we live in a great house, have great jobs, have the best son in the world and i am now pg with #2. i am a walking talking example of a woman who felt that she had to stay in a horrible situation, got the guts to find something better and made it happen. there is nothing special about me, except the fact that i have an abundance of self respect now. get the power back girl, it's been yours all along!
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