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Old 08-13-2004, 04:00 PM   #1
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newly pg after m/c?

I have no children, and I have had a total of 2 pregnancies in my life. My first one ended in m/c in March, and now I am pregnant again. The first time I just assumed everything would be fine, and that being pregnant meant you get a baby in 9 months.

Now I feel like there is no reason I should assume everything will go right, and that this pregnancy will actually result in a baby. It's almost like I EXPECT to miscarry.

I don't mean to be overly dramatic, but if you look at my record (1 pregnancy, 1 miscarriage) my batting average is not good. I really love this baby, but I'm trying not to get too attached. I feel like the miscarriage robbed me of so much more than that first pregnancy- it robbed me of the ability to be excited about this and subsequent pregnancies.

I feel like if I had a child already, I would at least know that I was ABLE to carry a baby all the way. Right now I just keep thinking "OK, by this point last time, did my boobs still hurt, or had that gone away?" and things like that. Time just can't move fast enough for me right now!

I'm sure I'll feel better once I see the doctor, but that won't be until September!
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Old 08-13-2004, 04:25 PM   #2
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

lawgirl,

when i first found out you were pregnant, do you remember me telling you that i knew you would be going through this just as i did/am. i am just a couple of week a head of you , but i think along those lines constantly. i have found some very good online support group dealing with pregnancy after miscarriage. i have looked into local counseling but it is about a 45 min drive from my house and on a night i work. i don't know if this will sink in or not, I MEAN REALLY SINK IN. i know what you are feeling, please please please believe me i do. some days i think..."awwww, what does it matter, i won't end up with a baby anyways, why do i need to start hording money now?" or "oh, i don't feel quite as sick as i did 5 mins. ago, the baby must have passed on..." i have an even worse track record. this will be my 4th pregnany. 1 termination when i was 15, 1 baby, born still, but revived, and 1 miscarriage. so here i am in limbo.

please talk to others that have been in your shoes. you will feel a lot of hope and optomism from mothers that have miscarried. i know i can't take your feeling of dread away, but just know that you will get to that doctors appointment and you will feel soooooo much better.
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Old 08-13-2004, 04:26 PM   #3
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

First of all CALM DOWN
i know LOTS of people who misscarried a first (and even second) child who went on to have perfect pregnancies and perfect babies.

And you obviously know you're preggo so you have to be about 5-6 weeks preg. right?
misscarriage after the 12 week marker is a VERY SMALL %.

stress can make things worse. relax.

it is OK to fall in love with this baby, in fact, you need to, it is important to bond because no matter what it is always going to be your child.

I will pray for you, and i encorage you to do the same.
Just know that you are preg. for a reason. God has a plan for the baby you ARE going to have in about 9 months.

good luck and keep me posted.
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Old 08-14-2004, 03:32 PM   #4
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

I don't think I'm particularly un-calm, I just have a very hard time leting myself get too attached to this baby. It's weird, but I'm worried about every little pain, or lack of pain. This morning I woke up and my boobs weren't quite as sore as they were yesterday, and I kind of just thought, "oh, well. I guess I'll probably lose this one too."

It just plain sucks. Now that I have reasons to be happy, I can't let myself be too happy because it could get taken away again.
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Old 08-14-2004, 04:09 PM   #5
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

Hi Lawgirl, haleysmum here Believe it or not I know exactly what you are going through right now....Many years ago I suffered 2 miscarriages in 12 months and after that gave up any hope of every having anymore children...I was with a man for many years after that that didnt want children, then met my partner who I am with now about 3.5 years ago....He informed he had been injured in an accident many years ago and couldnt have any more children, so I just thought OH WELL I wont be able to have any anyway....As you know I now have Haley who will be 1 in about 6 weeks and am 26 weeks pregnant again ! When I found out I was pregnant with Haley I had all the feelings that you are having right now....I was just so pessimistic (sp) ..I honestly didnt believe I would end up with a baby after my track history....Well now I have my darling miracle baby and pray I will end up with a healthy baby boy in about 12 weeks They will be inducing me early due to my diabeties.....I know its hard to try not to worry and I also know what you mean about trying not to get attached....I was that way with Haley, I think I honestly ended up convincing myself I wasnt even having a baby and didnt really believe it until she was placed in my arms....I still to this day look at her in disbelief sometimes...I hope you dont think I am a nutcase LOL just trying to explain my feelings and I know EXACTLY what you are feeling....Just try and have faith....thats what I did...I just thought to myself if this is meant to be it will be ! You are totally normal and good luck and have a healthy happy 9 months Im sure you will be fine
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Old 08-14-2004, 04:30 PM   #6
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

Lawgirl, my first pregnancy was a miscairrage also. I have 2 children and am pregnant again. We are April mommies! Don't stress yourself out. I know easier said than done but you gotta try. I think a very high % of women have experienced at least one failed preg. and had children after that. Did the Doc say there was anything wrong or was it just natural causes? If he didn't say there was a problem I wouldn't worry too much about it. There are days when I have worse symptoms than others so don't worry about that either. Hope we can ease your mind a little .

 
Old 08-14-2004, 07:26 PM   #7
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

how many weeks are you?
as i said b 4 you are at least half way to 12 weeks!
and my old teacher m/c 4 babies b 4 she got her little girl!
and her dr told her that her chance of carring a baby to term were small
VERY SMALL....but she did and she has a beautiful little girl now.
and as another poster said a large % of the population has has a m/c before then had another baby with no problems.
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Old 10-26-2004, 01:25 PM   #8
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

i had a mc when i was 4 weeks and let me add i took it so hard and i feel as if i cant get prego again and i lost out on my chance and every month is the same for me i wish and pray i will carry again.. look posative u are carring another kid hopefully all goes well for u i really do hope it goes well.. gooD Luck

 
Old 10-27-2004, 06:42 AM   #9
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Re: newly pg after m/c?

I was just reading this post and saw that it was started many months ago...before lawgirl knew she was having TWINS!! The world works in mysterious ways.

 
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