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Old 08-16-2004, 11:36 AM   #1
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having a bad day

i am not sure why i put myself through this..... but i do.

i had a miscarriage in march and am newly pregnant again. i had my 1st appt. and saw the baby's heart beat on the 10th of august. i felt better about things, but i think that the miscarriage has really messed me up mentally. i have a head cold now and a really sore throat, which i did right before i had the m/c in march. i know it has nothing to do with it, but there are more wierd things that are just the same as when i had the m/c. this morning i went pee and found this HUGE clump of rubbery discharge. it was like rubber cement. i know women produce a mucus plug and now i am afraid i am loosing whatever one i have made because i fear a miscarriage. i lost quite a bit of mucus when i did have the m/c, a couple days before. i called the nurse and they said that women produce alot of different kinds of discharge and not to worry. (then i had a m/c 2 days later) i am sorry that i am ranting, i just don't know what to do. i am so emotional and under such stress.

a friend of mine who had a baby a month after i had my son called me yesterday and she is now expecting again a month after i am due. she does everything naturally, she gave birth in her apartment in a water troft. kudos to her for being so brave but the main reason they did that is because they are basically on welfare and could not afford a hospital stay. i know it is wrong to feel bad feelings toward her situation, but i am amazed at how some people have no trouble what-so-ever and have less than desirable conditions when others have build their whole lives around preparing for the very best situation for a baby and get nothing but tragedy.

as you can tell, i am still quite emotional.
i guess i still "feel" pregnant, but it is more muted because of this cold. i guess i am going to call the dostor and discuss my irrational fears. thanks for listening.
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Old 08-16-2004, 11:43 AM   #2
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Re: having a bad day

Nyxin, I may be getting this wrong, but I thought I read somewhere, a while back, that around 8-10 weeks is when the mucus plug really starts to form. In the process of making this, your body makes lots of extra cm, and some of that ends up visible on your undies or on the tp.

Even if that is not the case, there is so much hormonally going on with our bodies that it just makes sense that there would be a lot of cm some days, not so much on other days.

If you still feel pregnant (despite your cold- poor dear!), go with that. Focus on the light tugging sensations you probably feel, your sore breasts, your morning sickness, fatigue, headaches, or whatever symptoms you have been feeling.

I think you and I are feeling a lot of the same fears. The first thing I do every morning is poke my boobs to see if they still hurt. Crazy, I know, but that's what gets me through the day.

I hope you start to feel better, and I hope for BOTH of us that this is the one that sticks.
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Old 08-16-2004, 11:55 AM   #3
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Re: having a bad day

Nyxin- I had alot of that rubbery discharge in the beginning. I am now 28 weeks. I wouldn't worry unless it is bloody.

Good luck!
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Old 08-16-2004, 12:08 PM   #4
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Re: having a bad day

thank you so much for your comfort. i did talk to my doctor and they are getting me in tomorrow for a quick ultra sound. i wish i could transport myself there right now.

i poke my boobs too---so don't think you are wierd.

they said not to be worried about the discharge unless it is bloody, like you said david. they also said that i am corrilating (sp?) all of these events in my mind making it seem like the present, not the past.

i guess all i can do is pray until that ultra sound.
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Old 08-16-2004, 01:50 PM   #5
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Re: having a bad day

I just wanted to say good luck tomorrow. I know that things will go great
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Old 08-16-2004, 02:36 PM   #6
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Re: having a bad day

We are praying with you! Try not to worry (easier said than done I know). I have had two children and never had a miscarriage but I still worry about every pain. And I run to the bathroom periodically just to make sure the discharge I had isn't bloody. I think we all have a level of parnoia about this. I guess I say that to say that you aren't alone. We've all felt what you are feeling and understand. Wish you the best tomorrow!!

 
Old 08-16-2004, 03:06 PM   #7
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Re: having a bad day

nyxin....

hun, I am sure everything will be okay. I will put you in my prayers sweetie. I am a freaking basketcase too, because of my previous miscarriages. The best part about these boards, is that so many of us have been bad situations in the past, and we have the same fears.

If it helps...with my first pregnancy (back in 97), I had the most disgusting crap coming out of my body (really think slimey stuff, ewwww) for the most part of my pregnancy - and I was okay. My son, being the impatient, stubborn little ****** that he is, came out early, but everything was fine. And I am sure everything is fine with you.

Like many others....I poke my breasts every morning (not to be gross) just to make sure they still hurt. I hate morning sickness but I also look forward to it, because it means I am okay, and the alien growing inside me is okay. ha ha.

PLEASE keep us posted. Good luck!

 
Old 08-16-2004, 09:24 PM   #8
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Re: having a bad day

Hi Nyxin,
I am so sorry you are feeing this way. I am also due in March. This is my 4th pg/baby. veen though I have had 3 normal pgs I still get paranoid especially in the beginning., You can't feel the baby and you aren't showing. Right now I will feel so much better when I hear the heart beat.

Good luck tomorrow!!

 
Old 08-16-2004, 09:35 PM   #9
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Re: having a bad day

i also want to say good luck nixin...i will pray for your baby tonight.
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Old 08-16-2004, 09:42 PM   #10
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Re: having a bad day

My husband and I are ttc, and I've had one mc and one son. My boobs are hurting at the moment, and I am very excited, probably too much so. I know how you feel about getting pg and losing it when you've prepared so much for it and there are so many unwanted babies in the world. That's how I felt when I m/c.

Hopefully my boob poking will end happily, and not my AF. Good luck tomorrow and God protect your baby and keep it safe and secure. Let us know how it goes!

Nicole
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Old 08-16-2004, 10:37 PM   #11
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Re: having a bad day

thanks again to everyone!!!! wow, what a great support group.

i am feeling a little better about things. the nurse called me back and said that the doctor reviewed my chart/levels/ultra sound. she said that the doctor feels very confident in every result and that everything looks exactly as it should to ensure a successful pregnancy. i am still nervous because i was not as bothered by morning sickness, but i do think i am more focused on my cold. my boobs are not quite as sore, bt my nipples are still WAY sensitive and my lower belly is getting hard. i know this is all good. it is just so darn hard to not worry.

thanks to all my friends here and your thoughts and prayers.
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Old 08-17-2004, 01:30 PM   #12
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Re: having a bad day

hey nyxin, don't worry yourself to much sweetie...everything will be fine..

 
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