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Old 01-07-2005, 06:01 AM   #1
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jacritch HB User
Grandmother of one possibly two

Hi,

I am 43 years old and I have a 2 1/2 year old grandson. My daughter just took a pregnancy test (actually 2) and they both came out positive. She lived with us with her first pregnancy she was 18 and I was very supportive.
I don't feel like being as supportive this time. Does that sound terrible? We help her financially, but I don't know if I want to support another one. The father of the first one is in jail. Boy sometimes she picks winners. I will love this one like I do my first grandson. I did ask her if she thought about birth control and no response. Obviously not.

Well just needed to vent...not much sleep last night.

Judy

 
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Old 01-07-2005, 06:08 AM   #2
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Kiera1595 HB User
Re: Grandmother of one possibly two

Ohh geez! I do not envy your situation. You need to support her mentally, but not financially. She is an adult now and needs to learn how to take care of herself. She needs to get help from outside sources. I would say to help her find the resources to help herself and then back off a little bit. Tough love grandma! You know that you will be there for those little grandbabies, but it's time to stop babying your daughter. I think she's taking it for granted.
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Old 01-07-2005, 06:43 PM   #3
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BEcca1978 HB User
Re: Grandmother of one possibly two

Well, I got pregnant at 16, had the baby at 17 but I certainly never depended on my mother to help me. There were those times when I needed my mommy. Like when I was in labor, I ran straight to her. I married the father of my baby I went on to have more with him. My mom was always supportive but I knew that if I were going to be having children of my own then I can't be going to mom for help. I have never asked her for help but she does sometimes offer it. I appreciate all that she does for me. I think you do need to show your daughter some tough love. You don't have to support her. If she is having children then she is woman enough to find her way. I have been through some VERY tough situations without going to my mom for help. I made it through it all and became a better person for it. Wish her luck, give her all your love and give her all the emotional support she needs. She will get through this and become more independant. All she REALLY needs from you is your unconditional love. Good luck and congratulations!
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Old 01-07-2005, 10:47 PM   #4
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Frynd1 HB User
Re: Grandmother of one possibly two

Both my sister and I got pregnant at the same time which I am sure has been hard on my parents, emotionally and financially. I'm only 19 and I will be living with them through this one. Maybe your daughter should look into a goverment aid program. I would do it if my parents didn't want to help. I don't think you are a bad person for not wanting to though. She will always be your daughter, but she has to be a mom herself too

 
Old 01-14-2005, 07:04 AM   #5
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Afishpoke HB User
Unhappy Re: Grandmother of one possibly two

I am desperate for help! I have a 16 year old step-daughter who's about 6 - 7 weeks pregnant. We have a strained relationship and I don't know what to do! She's only been living with us since May, 2004 - because she got in trouble and her mom kicked her out!

 
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