For the first time in my relationship with my wife I ejaculated inside her, Ive never done this to anyone in my life. Ive either used protection, pulled out or released it some other way. Anyway, we started talking seriously about having a baby and feel we are ready (im 31, shes 29) been married less then a year, but been together for about 6yrs. Anyway, I guess the first feelings i had were scared, worried, & very nervous, I dont know why. When I really think about it, im scared for my wife cause to me shes very fragile and tiny, I dont know how she would handle the pregnancy. Another thing that scares me is hopeing the baby comes out healthy, Im worried if it will be deformed, downsyndrom or somthing Im not prepared to handle especially SIDS, I get scared to death thinking about that. I get so worried I wont be able to take care of such a small baby after its born, when my nephews were born i was so scared to hold them cause they were tiny, I couldnt imagine taking care of them all night I would be wanting to not sleep and watch them all night hopeing they keep breathing or not turn over on their face, we want a baby so bad, but these things keep running thru my mind. Is this normal for having a baby for the first time?
Thanks for anybody who read this...I just needed to get it out my system.
Yeah i think it is normal! I am a nervous wreck! Although I am scared of newborns, I don't think I will be scared of mine. I don't know why though. I was really worried about what I would do if it were deformed or something at first, but the longer I am pregnant, the less I worry cause, even though I of course want it to be healthy and would give anythign for that, I will love it just as much regardless. SIDS terrifies me though, cause there is nothign at all you can do to stop it, it just happens. But then I also think at least I will have gotten to see my baby for some time and if that does happen then he or she will be happy in heaven. So, I try to think some reassuring thoughts along with the bad ones. Although most of the time just the bad ones! Anyway, good luck!
YoungLife, you sound a lot like my husband. I'm 29 and he's 27 - this is our first - and I know he's worried that our baby will have something wrong with it, or will turn out like some members of his family (who are clinically depressed, alcoholic, etc.). But my opinion is, it's no use making yourself crazy with the what-ifs, because whatever's going to happen will happen and you'll figure out a way to make the best of it, no matter what the situation is. I think most people are a lot stronger on the inside than they realize, but only find out when they have to rise to a challenge. Not that I wouldn't be totally freaked if my child did turn out to have something wrong with it, but I'd have to deal with that. All that said, I'm sure our babies will be fine and healthy and strong - I also believe that positive thinking also goes a long way - so don't expend too much energy being worried - you'll need it later when your little one is hungry at 4am!
YoungLife, thank you for that message. Its hard for a woman to know exactly what her significant other is thinking about when he knows that she is pregnant. A lot of men (mine included) are bad at opening up and expressing themselves comfortably. In that regard, your wife is a very lucky woman to have a man as caring and sensitive as you are. Have you talked to her yet about your fears? You'll probably find that she has the exact same fears as you do, and hopefully you both can give each other strength in knowing that your feelings right now are very normal and natural.
Your feelings are definitely normal, and most likely they are shared by your wife. This is my 2nd child and I have the same fears all over again. I can't even begin to count the times I sat in my daughter's room watching her sleep to make sure she was still breathing. She is 10 years old now. The worries change but the level of concern for your child will always be there from even before they are born or conceived. It's all part of being a parent.